Sometimes we have to go back to the beginning to find ourselves all over again. We can then continue the journey with renewed confidence and energy.
That is what I did on Thursday of this week. Some people think that my running comes easy and is all sunshine and roses. That is NOT the case. Last month I was really sick with an upper respiratory infection and sinus infection. To add to the misery, I pulled a chest muscle(it has a fancy name I can not pronounce!) that made it difficult to breathe. It was like wearing a bra that was 5 sizes too small on one side of my chest. I stopped running for a while and allowed my body to heal. When I decided to try running, I went to the treadmill as I was terrified to get too far from home and not be able to breathe. So I ran short distances on the TM until one beautiful afternoon last week my kids shoved me out the door and said, “Get outside…..” It was a really slow, crappy run. I was nervous the whole time. I had been ramping up the miles but not the speed. What I realized was I was lacking confidence.
So…Thursday I went back to my roots….back to where I started from a few short years ago. I dug out my old faithful running tights, too big race shirt (from one of my first 5Ks), no hat, old shoes (yes I still have my first pair and no, it was not the best idea…hindsight there!), no Garmin, and my very first running playlist. I leashed up the dog for a mid day run just like the old days and set off to run one of my original loops …. in search of something. What I was looking for I was not quite certain but I knew this was something I had to do for myself. This run was not about time. It was not about pace. It was not about gadgets(but oh, I love my gadgets!). It was about finding myself. It was about going back to where I began and finding my roots as a runner. If I could find those roots, then perhaps I could replant myself firmly back in my running shoes (the new ones this time!).
The sun was high in the sky and the dog was pulling at the leash, thrilled to head out and sniff every blade of grass. I, too, was about the sights and smells of my run. I was tuned back in. I could smell the fresh cut grass (which I am allergic to….but love the smell), the blooming lilacs, someone cooking bacon and other doing laundry. I drank in all the beautiful blooming flowers, bushes and trees in my neighborhood. I said hello to neighbors playing in the park. I took off the music after a few blocks and enjoyed the sounds of spring. It was a joy to see my pup loving life and prancing along as we moved through our run together. I could feel the warm sun on my shoulders and the soft breeze on my face. Before I knew it I had returned home again feeling like I could run another 4 miles. I was recharged and renewed after this 4 mile run more so than I had been in a very long time. This was exactly what I needed. I found my running roots and they were strong. They did need replanting in a better pair of shoes…. shoes that could support the new growth ready to take place. Peace.