Kenny

So today I took off for a short run just to get in the miles. It was warm and I was not in the mood. I needed to get in my weekly miles now that training season has begun so I filled up a water bottle, laced up my shoes and headed out the door.

I started slow and my pace was way off. I knew I had to pick it up or head home. So I chose to pick it up. Heck… It was only 3 miles! I ran my usual route and before I knew it, I was into my happy pace.

At mile 2 I was heading down the street and saw I man I see often. I have written about him before. He was heading west and I was heading south. I called out, “hey..there’s my hero!”

He turned, looked at me and smiled wide, “Hey, young lady!”

“I am so sorry. I see you all the time and have even talked to you at Happy Foods before but I don’t know your name.”

“Kenny” he answered.

“Kenny, I see you all the time and think that if you are out doing your thing here I can do what I have to do too.”

“Listen, you snooze…you lose. And I am no loser. I am not losing my ability to walk or my life.”

“Hey, forward is a pace is my motto.”

“You got dat right, young lady. What is your name?” he responded his best Chicago accent.

“Kristine,” I responded.

“Nice to meet you, Kristine but I may still call you young lady!!.”

We chatted a bit more before we were off in our different directions. What you have to understand is that Kenny is a ’50 something’ that had a stroke a few years ago and was told he would not walk again. He is paralyzed no one side of his body and walks with a limp and a cane. I see him walking all over the neighborhood. He told me he tries to walk for at least an hour a day just so he retains the ability to move. He is my hero and inspiration.

I am honored and blessed with angels in my life. Angels that are constant reminders of the good things, the many blessings, in my life. Kenny is one of those Angels. Forward is a pace. Peace.

 

Bullies

Bullies…they are everywhere. I have been the victim for much of my life and perhaps this is why I am who I am today. There are bullies I never confronted from my past and issues I have never dealt with that are all coming to the forefront now. Why now? Who knows. Everyone thinks of bullies as something kids deal with but there are plenty of adult bullies. I deal with those folks on a regular basis. Perhaps it is the bullies who made me into the person I am today. Perhaps I am who I am in spite of them. I am not sure but I think about it often like on a recent run.

Sunday I took off for what I thought was going to be an easy 5 mile run. I had not run in a week and was anxious to get out and hit the pavement. I had planned out my route in my head and took off. I felt as though I was at the starting line of a long awaited race …. this was the first real run of summer! I was soon lost in my thoughts and the music. Strangely enough when I got a little over a mile in, I found myself heading off my planned route and towards a trail I normally run with my group. I had not been to the trail in months. I realized my feet were in charge, not my head. But then I heard a voice in the distance….taunting me…teasing me. Every bully and every mean comment every directed at me started to flood into my head. I started to wonder where the voice was coming from. Was I crazy? Was it a person in a passing car?

I soon saw the trailhead and wondered if I should turn and head back home. But then I heard that voice again…the teasing and taunting…. So I headed onto the trail. I am not sure what possessed me but I started to get angry. As my feet pounded out the miles, the voice grew louder and my anger grew like a fire fed with gasoline.

I realized I was going faster than my normal pace and was struggling but the voice in my head was so loud now, I could not drowned it out. That is when I passed a sign on the trail that said, “Run through them like a Tank”. I smiled and kept going. The fire of anger continued to grow as I recognized the voice taunting me….it was Wanda! That brutal bridge on the path was the one that was causing me to doubt myself and my ability.

As I got closer, her voice grew louder. I paused at the base and took one last look….it was decision time…fight or flight. I took a deep breath and ran….head first, full steam ahead into Wanda as she teased me. “You can’t take me!” “You’ll give up!” “the top? You can’t get there without walking!” “You are fat and slow!” “You are not good enough to get to the top”….and on and on…. Until I realized that I was at the top. Without a word, I ran to the top and then caught my breath. As I stood there keeled over, hands on my knees huffing and puffing, I realized something. I realized that I have rarely confronted the bullies in my life. I just walk away and let things go. I turn and just ignore them and it just doesn’t ever end. The bully may go away but the words have stayed with me for a lifetime.

I caught my breath and continued on for a few miles before turning and heading back home. This was not a fast nor effortless run that turned out to be 8 miles but I needed it. I had to take on Wanda again on the return trip but this time she didn’t say too much, and what she did say was not all that loud. I know that there will be days where she rears her ugly Bully head again but I am more confident that I will be able handle her. I am more confident that I will be able to battle back the demons each time. Dealing with the bullies of the past and present will never be easy but I feel like I can stand a bit taller and remember the messages I teach my Girls on the Run. Be Strong. Be Confident. Be YOU. No matter what others think or say. Forward is a Pace. Peace.

 

Soldiers

I have to admit that I have been a total slacker in the running/working out department. I just have not had the time nor energy to do either and it is not a good thing. I see not only the intake of food (BAD food) increasing and the scale moving in the wrong direction. Last Monday I decided to go for a run mostly for my mental health but that was disastrous. 4 miles in the heat was more than my body and mind could handle. There was walking, tears and even throwing of various items (which I picked up…guilt got the better of me!).  All week I worried about my upcoming race and wondered what would happen once I pinned on my number. I was not ready…and I knew it.

Saturday’s race was the Soldier Field 10 miler. This is a race I have run before and really love. It is a great distance along a beautiful course and I finish on the 50 yard line of Soldier Field. What more could a girl ask for?!  Not much….or so I thought.

The TMI truck was full of my running girls as we took off early for Soldier Field. We parked in the garage, relaxed and waited in the warmth for a while. Eventually we all had to use the restroom and decided it was time to get ready to run. We headed out of the lot and into Soldier Field to take some pictures and go to the bathroom. I had some water and an AcelGel. I was trying something new this race…gel prior to running as opposed to just during the race. I was hoping and praying it would not lead to tummy issues! We waited inside and watched other runners until we could wait no more…it was time to find our corrals.

How it happened I am still not sure but as we walked we were herded into a faster corral than planned. Not to worry…we would be starting sooner thus…finishing sooner! We met some other runners we knew, chatted and waited for the gun to go off….and then we were off and running.

I am not a fan of the first part of the course. We run through the dark tunnel of McCormick Place. It is filled with bumps and holes and uneven pavement. I am always afraid I am going to fall thus I go more slowly in this area. It is scary to run in the dark! Once we exit the tunnel the course opens and we have a beautiful view of the lake and Lake Shore Drive.  About mile 4 I had some water and an orange AcelGel. I love that stuff!  We ran south until about mile 5 and then turned around and ran the Lake Front Path on the return. This is a much narrower part of the course but the the runners have thinned out and it is a tad bit easier to maneuver.  This is one of my favorite parts as I have the Lake on my right shoulder and the city in front of me. I was feeling good and running well at this point. I had lost my running buddies and, in hindsight, this was a good thing for all of us. We could each run our own race.

I was unsure what to expect as far as time goes for this race and was just hoping to finish. Meeting my PR seemed impossible with my lack of training so my goal was to have fun, run well and FINISH. Forward was my pace….I think I looked at my Garmin once but was so confused I gave up trying to figure it out.

At mile 7 there was water and a DJ. As I got closer I heard Francesca Batistelli’s song, “It’s Your Life”. This is my ringback on my phone and a sort of anthem for me. It is not a common song that people listen to…so I was shocked to hear it. As I ran up to the DJ I asked if this was his choice of music and he said yes!  I hugged him and told him thanks. One of my Sole Sisters has said that she thinks I need to hug at least one person during each race and I think she is right. I get so much from those moments! That song was just what I needed to hear at that moment. I was starting to doubt myself and my ability to finish. I was walking more now than running and I was tired.

I figured I had come this far and only had 3 miles to go…I had to finish. I could finish. Running around the back of McCormick place the crowds start to increase and the momentum really picks up. I was going to leave it all on the course today. I was not going down without a fight today. Leaving the path and heading onto the street then into the parking tunnel was just the motivation I needed. I knew I was almost there. I ran out of the tunnel and was tempted to stop and take a picture but changed my mind. I wanted the finish. I kicked in to high gear and raced towards the finish line and crossed it with a little twirl,  a curtsy and a huge smile.  I looked down at the Garmin and saw my time. It was faster than I thought but then again, I am still learning how to use it so I was not sure if it was right.

I caught my breath, took a few pics and soon my running buddies were by my side. We got some water and headed towards the BLING!!

We were surprised to find that this year, the 10th anniversary year of the race, that things were a tad bit different. This year the people

giving us our medals were active duty service members. As the young man put the medal around my neck and said, “Congratulations! You are amazing!” I started to cry. I was not amazing…he was.  I was no hero…he was. I didn’t deserve a medal…he did. It was a moment, and a young man,  I will not soon forget.

When we arrived home, I checked my time. I had PRed by 3 whole minutes!!  Not seconds…MINUTES!  WOW! What a shock and surprise. However, the PR paled in comparison to the moment that young man gave me my medal. I am forever grateful to him and others like him for their service to our country. I am forever grateful to those who have fought and died to protect all I hold dear. I am forever grateful to those who have more courage than I every day…they are the heroes  They deserve the medals.

Sacred

I did not write the essay below but only wish I had. When I read it, it was as if the author had read not only my mind but my heart. The Woods is a sacred, special place for my for many reasons. Someday I will be able to articulate those reasons as well as Dave Cox.

“They look like old-fashioned pot metal with appropriate signs of age: scrapes, dents and paint blemishes. Those gates at the entrance of Saint Mary-of-the-Woods are signs of protection, along with a sense of strength and security.

If you look around, there’s nothing unusually striking about the surroundings: aged brick walls at the gateway, granite signs identifying the Sisters of Providence and Saint Mary-of-the-Woods College as permanent dwellers. Age-old trees form a canopy along the main drive. A small bungalow stands as sentry off to one side.
But, just cross that threshold. Move through those gates. Something happens. Some explain it as a pinch of magic dust that flutters down to greet visitors, especially first-timers. Where does it come from? What is it? How does it change you?
That special feeling stays with you. You know you are in a special place: physically, emotionally and spiritually. You can sense the peace. You are in awe of the natural beauty. You embrace the spirituality. You feel like you are home.
“For those who have never visited Saint Mary’s, I say you need to drive through those gates and no words need to be spoken, for instantly you feel the presence of specialness that will always remain tucked away in your heart,” said Jeanne Stanbaugh, assistant executive director of the Terre Haute Convention and Visitors Bureau, who has a significant role in promoting the Woods as a destination for visitors.
“Sixteen years ago, I first entered the gates at Saint Mary-of-the-Woods. To this day, each time I return and re-enter the gates, I am totally at peace. It’s like coming home,” she said.
Maybe it’s not magic dust at all. Maybe it’s your first blessing as you step onto holy ground.”

Coach

Ask me why I coach Girls on the Run and I will give you many reasons. I think it is selfish as I get more than I give most days but there are days that stun and amaze even me. There are days that bring me to my knees thanking God for bringing me to this program at this time in my life.

I have a really small group of third graders this season but it has been great in many ways. These girls  are really needy in so many ways and are not girls that normally ‘hang out’ together on a regular basis. Monday one of the girls came in looking so very sad. The other girls asked her what was wrong and she didn’t want to talk about it. So we started on the lesson(I feel….) and soon she raised her hand and asked us if she could give a situation. I said yes. Well …then she opened up like a flood. She was being teased and called really vile names. Some of the students had started to gang up on her and she was feeling so overwhelmed. She was terrified to tell her teacher for fear of making the situation worse. She did not want to talk to her parents as they would go to the teacher, again making it worse in her eyes. I sat in our circle just stunned that this little body was holding so much inside. Before  either coach had a chance to collect our thoughts and give her suggestions, the other girls started. First they started to hug her one by one as they told her they were there to help. The suggestions came one by one. The swell of protectiveness for her grew. The girls developed a signal for each other when they needed help whether it was on homework or from a bully. The girls composed a letter to the classroom teacher requesting a meeting to discuss the issue. The girls requested that I ‘take a walk’ into their classroom to check on things later in the day and if all was well I would get a ‘sparklefingers’ if not… a sad face.  If I got a sad face, then we would move to step 2 where the 2 coaches would help and get involved if nothing was getting better. Yes, we spent a longer time talking than planned but the mood was amazing. The feeling of empowerment…WOW!

Well, We all met yesterday for GOTR and things are looking up. I did ‘take a walk’ on Tuesday and got not only sparkle fingers but a glowing smile. I spoke with the teacher privately who thanked both coaches for our help with the situation which she will now monitor more closely. The girls all said they feel stronger than before. They all seem to really walk a bit taller and are so supportive of each other. I shudder to think of how things would be different if the girls did not have a place to share and learn life long lessons in self confidence. I am grateful I am allowed to provide such a place to these girls.  I am grateful for Girls on the Run.