So….to quote the Grateful Dead….what a long strange trip it has been. My life has been turned upside down and inside out this past year or 2. I am still processing it all but feel like I am beginning to see the light again. The darkness is giving way and I am seeing peeks at the sun. I am starting to feel like me again….but better!
If there is one thing I have learned in my life it is that I can get knocked down but I am never knocked out. Sometimes I stay on the mat a little longer than I should but I am a fighter by nature. Once I am back up on my feet, I can start to move and that movement eventually becomes the fancy footwork of the dance that is life.
My friends and family have cheered me off the mat and back on my feet again. Now it is up to me to move my feet and start to dance again.
I have to remember how to listen to myself and body. I need to tune in, listen, and learn to trust myself again. I also need to learn to trust others too.
I am a fighter. I am a survivor. I am back on my feet and moving forward.
MOMMA IS BACK……
#Forwardisapace
Peace.
Blog
Moments
Moments in time. Miles and moments. Each year I write a full recap of my marathon adventure mostly for myself but also so that others can share in miles and moments that make up the marathon.
Earlier that morning, I received a notice from my pal, Tim, also a race day staff member, that he had left a special message for Beth and me at mile 5. I was looking forward to this…and yes, I stopped in the middle of the course to take a photo…much to the dismay of the other runners! Thinking of my cousin, Melissa and her boys, my own kids, the children of friends and the kids I teach got me through the zoo and to mile 6 where I saw a teacher friend, Kathleen. She had told me that she would be wearing a bright orange hat at the water stop….and I could see her from a ½ a mile away…a vision! She gave me water, a hug and took my sweaty, icky gloves with glee and sent me on my way.
About mile 7 I came upon a team of runners who had slowed to a walk. I noticed that there were guides on either side of a younger man who was walking so I slowed to a walk beside them. I asked their names and about the logo on the shirts they were wearing. The athlete’s name was Jeff Hobbs. He was fascinating. As I walked with them I learned his story. His goal was to be the first person with spastic cerebral palsy to run the marathon. He was walking at that point due to some pain. We walked, he talked and I listened. I eventually took a picture and continued on my journey.
At Mile 10, I noticed familiar shirts and realized it was members of the support team for Jeff Hobbs. I told them what an amazing guy he was and continued on heading towards Old Town. Entering Old Town, “Elvis” was singing “Caught in a Trap” and I had to laugh. That was the song my husband gave me for the playlist and a joke we have about our 20 year marriage! And then there it was…a reminder from my yoga teacher that I needed….Breathe! I could hear her voice in my head…Just Breathe….
At Mile 23, I got a text from my friend, Melissa, that she had to stop running at mile 17. She was devastated but knew that she had to stop for her health. She apologized but I could not have been more proud of her at that moment. She had done what I had taught her from the very beginning…Listen to Your Body. I pushed on for her and then I heard my name again. There were 2 of her best friends waving and cheering. It was another “God-incidence. “ Christina offered me snacks and water but I stopped long enough to take a picture and kept going. I was almost done.
I walked a few steps and a kind young man wrapped a HeatSheet around me and then a wonderful older gentleman congratulated me and hung a medal around my neck. I moved towards water and my phone buzzed. It was a text from my son, “You did it, Mom! You finished! I am so proud of you! I love you!” I started to cry.![]() |
| I found this on my doorstep when I got home |
my belly hurt as much as my back!
Moment by moment, mile by mile, step by step, forward was my pace for 26.2 miles. With the encouragement of friends, family and supporters, the #tutulady helped other runners laugh and smile and move forward. Would I change anything about that day? Not a chance. Every moment…every “ God-incident” …is worth more to me than a faster finish time. Every marathon is different and we make the best of what we are given on that day. It took a while, and the help of some very wise friends, to help me realize that fact. Finally, it had sunk in that I really had finished my 6thmarathon.Afterwards…..I found out later that Jeff Hobbs did not finish the marathon this year. He became injured and had to stop at mile 12. Here is the story. My heart breaks for him…watching this was gutwrenching.
Influence
Last night after a tough 9 mile run in the cold mist with an aching hip, I arrived home and changed into dry clothes. I poured myself a glass of wine sat down, totally exhausted. My 15YO came over and said, “Mom, you look tired. Do you have time to check some homework for me?” She rarely asks for homework help so I said sure. What she needed me to check was an assignment on the most influential woman in her life. She showed me the paper with the assignment and then had me watch the video. I did not realize how deeply GOTR and my involvement in GOTR has effected her.
I cried myself to sleep last night…happy tears….tears of gratitude that this program has not only changed me but changed her as well.
Influential Woman Video
Coalition

What is the Red Boot Coalition? A group of people committed to change. The mission is to unabashedly and courageously bring joy, compassion, love, vulnerability, unity, humility, reflection and strength to the United States political system. How do we do that? Good question.
Strong, Joyful. Heart-driven. Authentic. Compassionate. Reflective. Genuine. Whole, Innovative. All words that describe Red Booters. Red Booters don’t have to wear their boots to be noticed. It is a pervasive attitude. However, I hope to someday have my own pair of sassy red boots for these big feet of mine!
The driving force of this movement is Molly Barker. She has decided to take the month of August and travel the country, meeting with small groups of people for discussion on this topic.
When she said she was coming to Chicago, I jumped at the chance to be a apart of this discussion. I wanted not only to meet Molly but also to find out more about this movement. Another woman and myself volunteered to cohost the event and she volunteered her home.
We both invited people, and were concerned not many would show. I mean, really, who wants to give up a Friday night to talk about politics? Molly assured us that no matter who/how many it would work out and we trusted her.
Once everyone arrived, we had a nice mix of ages (20 somethings to 50 somethings). We sat in a circle and Molly began. She told us how she came to the place she was at this moment and why this was important. And then she opened the floor to discussion with a question…what qualities do you want in your perfect leader?
The answers varied and the conversation twisted and turned to how we each felt about different political topics from term limits to lobbyists to campaign spending. Never once was a voice raised. Never once was someone challenged. Never once was there a negative vibe in the room…and we all had different views. Molly continued to ask difficult questions and push us for deeper answers. One thing that we realized is that everyone wants to be accepted and to belong and sometimes people step into a ‘box’ to conform leaving their own values and beliefs behind.
About an hour into the conversation, a woman asked, “What’s the take away? I’m tired of going to meetings to discuss another meeting. What can I do? What is the action plan?” So we talked about that and what that would be, what that would look like for each of us….it is really different for each of us.
As the evening came to a close, the circle broke apart and we each sat in smaller groups, continuing our conversations as people dwindled and headed home.
My cohost and I cleaned up and said goodbye to everyone. Molly was last to leave with me and we each got into our cars. I drove home alone thinking of all that I had heard that night. That nagging question, “What’s the takeaway?” rang in my ears. What was I going to do? How was I going to take what I had learned and apply it to my life? I went to bed with …what can I do….in my head.
The next morning I had my group long run. My group loves to eat so we usually talk food as the miles click away but that morning someone asked why I looked tired. I jumped on the opportunity to tell some of my group about my evening and about the Coalition. Then I started with the same question, “What qualities do you want in your perfect leader?” That lead to what is broken in the system and what frustrates us. I talked politics and listened to various group members for about 5 miles. It was an amazing discussion and we each learned more about one another. The conversation soon turned to food again but I was good with it….one has to have something to look forward to …eating…after a 10 mile run.
I realized that we all need to talk to one another. We need to really listen more and respect one another’s viewpoints. We don’t all have to agree but we need to listen and learn. My take away… to ask questions, to LISTEN to the answers and to learn from others.
Molly is a real visionary. If anyone can bring about change, it would be her. If she can get little girls to believe in themselves as the founder of Girls on the Run, she can get adults to believe in the promise of change in politics. Someone once told me that Molly is a lot like Peter Pan….she makes you believe. Well, I believe.
Red Boots, Strong Coffee, Change the World.
Forward is a pace. Peace.
Molly
I never planned to be a runner. I never liked working out or running or anything fitness related. I liked my “watch what I eat” and “look at those crazy gym/running people” lifestyle. Running did not come naturally nor easy for me. Each run was a struggle. As I got more confident, I signed up for a few races in the fall and put running to rest for the winter. Come spring I saw an ad for a race called “WonderGirl”. It sounded like something I could do and not feel intimidated plus it was on the lakefront. Perfect. So I signed up. When I got to the race I didn’t realize that my life was to change that very day. I ran alone but felt more at home than ever. The “Girl Power” was amazing and the support phenomenal. I didn’t realize then that this was what I had been looking for and longing for all my life. I wanted to know more but was not ready to make the effort.
A year later, I ran the same race with my oldest 2 girls and while we were hot, miserable and chafed, we were so happy! I felt like I had never felt before…called to know more, do more and take action. I contacted GOTR that week and began the process of bringing the program to my school. It was an uphill battle as it was a new program to the area and was not in many schools. But I pushed and by the time my youngest daughter was in 3rd grade, we had a program and she would be in the first ‘class’. My older girls came to each session to help and got the lessons by osmosis but not like my baby girl. She soaked up the GOTR messages like a sponge. She could not wait until the next session so that she could learn more.
Fast forward 7 years and we are still deeply involved in the program. By this time I had read all there was to know about the Foundress, Molly Barker. By some twist of fate Molly and I became friends on social media. I sent her a message thanking her for not only changing my life, but the lives of my daughters and other girls as well. We would comment periodically on each others posts and often say one day we would sit and have coffee together. I longed for that day. I wanted to hug this woman and thank her in person for all she has done for me and others.
That day was yesterday. Molly came to town to discuss her newest venture, The Red Boot Coalition. Another woman and I were cohosting the event together in this woman’s home. I was to arrive early to have dinner with my cohost and Molly.
As I got dressed, I was nervous as to what to wear and asked my kids. My 11 year old son said, “Mom! Its Molly! She doesn’t care what wear! She wants to see YOU!” I knew at that moment that my son also got the GOTR messages by osmosis as well! So I got dressed and headed to dinner. I thought I would be nervous and my drive would be one filled with anxiety…but I was strangely calm.
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| Pink Boots inspired by the Red Boots |
I arrived and was informed that Molly was running a little late so my cohost and I began eating and getting to know one another better. Soon Molly arrived and I was thrilled! She entered the room and we hugged…but not one of those “Oh my GOD! I am so stoked to finally meet you!” hugs. It was the kind of hug you give your best old girlfriend that you haven’t seen in a while…that calm, quiet, “I’m so happy to see you again” hug. It was funny, the moment I was in her presence, I felt like I was with my best friend…you all know that friend…the one that you could see every day and never get tired of that is the same one that you can go for weeks without talking to yet pick up right where you left off? That is just how I felt. It was so familiar. We sat together with some others around a kitchen table and talked some more before other guests started arriving.
Once we moved to our meeting space, I sat next to her and listened as she spoke to the group. We all talked and shared ideas for a few hours. It was amazing. Afterwards, we all chatted in small groups about different things but ya know that feeling when you are at a party with your bestie and you don’t need to be together…you want to spend time on others because just knowing that your bestis is there sharing space and breathing the same air is good enough for that moment? Yup…that was the feeling I had. I am not sure if Molly felt the same but that’s ok. I was in a space of peaceful bliss.
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| Molly and Me! |
It was finally time to call it a night and people started to leave. I walked to my car after saying goodbye and as I turned around, there was Molly. We stood together in the dark driveway for a moment. You all know those final moments at a party that you spend with your friend… the last words and final hug you want just shared between the 2 of you? She shared some words of wisdom and we hugged one last time. As she walked away, I wish I could have snapped a photo but the image is seared in my memory…she headed off in the dark to her car ringed in the light of the perfect full moon looking like an angel. My angel. My friend. The one that changed….no….saved my life. Forward is a pace. Peace.











