Blog

Letter

An open letter

Dear lady at the gym,

I see you here often. I see how you sheepishly use the equipment and hand weights. I have watched you for months. I have watched as you get stronger and more confident. I want walk over and congratulate you on your progress but I fear you might think me insincere.

I have watched the other gym members reactions to you. I see their eyes roll as you hold on to the treadmill to keep your balance. What they fail to notice is how your speed on the treadmill has increased. I see the giggles of the other females as you try the elliptical. What they don’t know is that it has taken you months to build the confidence to even try that machine. I notice as you lift the hand weights how the others In that corner look away. They are missing the fact that you have gone from a 2 pound weight to a 6 pound weight.

All those people see is the overweight woman who is not like them. All they see is the outside. Poor things. They don’t notice the true strength you process. They don’t see the determination on your heart.

I can not imagine the strength it took for you to come here the first time and the perseverance it takes to come back each week. I know that you seem like me a long time ago. I was overweight, out of shape and scared. I want you to know you are not alone. I want you to know that you are improving and I notice even though no one else might. I see you…. I see you for all that you are and I am so proud of you. Peace.

Done

Don’t tell me something can’t be done. I will find a way to get it done. I may get it done at the last minute, skidding in just at the buzzer but I get it done. I can procrastinate with the best of them and can make excuses better than a kid who didn’t finish their homework. But given a challenge, I find a way.

Today I needed to find a way. There was a lot to get done. A meeting this morning before school, a full day of teaching and then coaching 30 little girls on their fist day of Girls on the Run. If that is was not enough, I ran my long run for the week….10 miles. I did run it on the treadmill so I could help with homework and be available to the kids…but multitasking is something I do well! The kids cycled in and out and I listened to one read, helped another with mock trial questions, and just listened to another talk. I was a captive for them. However the distractions were just that, distractions from the boredom of the dreadmill. Time with my kids is time with my kids.

Dinner and early bedtimes for all in the family tonight. I am tired but not done yet. I need help now. I want to coach more girls to become the best they can be helping them to find their own tutu spirit within. The marathon is only 26 days away and I am working hard to get there. Help me help more girls. Don’t tell me it can’t be done.
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Today

There are two days in every week about which we should not worry, two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.

One of these days is Yesterday with all its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains. Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control. All the money in the world cannot bring back Yesterday.

The other day we should not worry about is Tomorrow with all its possible opportunities, its burdens, its large promise. Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control. Tomorrow’s sun will rise, either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds, but it will rise.

Until it does, we have no stake in Tomorrow, for it is yet to be born. This leaves only one day, Today. Most persons can muster the strength to fight the battle of just one day.

It is when you add the burdens that are beyond our control of Yesterday and Tomorrow that we break down. Let us, therefore, live Today and make the best of it, and live our

lives, ‘one day at a time’. And remember to find something to smile about every day (even if you have to look in the mirror) and then share it with a friend.

 

Angry

Why are some people so angry all the time? I’m not saying that I don’t get mad…I mean seriously pissed off …occasionally. But some people seem to live in a constant state of anger. Curse words flow from their lips like water from a spigot and their brow is permanently furrowed. It is frightening to be around them as they are like a volcano ready to erupt. The constant walking on eggshells around these people is exhausting.

I am not sure what makes them so angry. Was it one event that flipped a switch? Is the anger from frustration? Does it stem from jealousy? Bitterness? I’m not sure.

I see these people everywhere. Is life so horrible? Can they not see the good in life? Are they missing something?

I just want to open their eyes to the beauty of life. Sure there are crappy parts and unfairness but all in all life is pretty good. It is a matter of finding the good and peaceful place in your heart. I pray they find that peaceful place someday.

 

Giddy

A friend told me today that one of the reasons he loves me as his friend is that small things give me such joy. It is true. Small things do give me so much joy. Simple things. Easy things. I used to be all about the grand gesture. I would set my expectations so high and often be so very disappointed. Over time I have learned that the little things bring so much more joy to my life. The every day things. The mundane things.

My friend, Molly, has these red cowboy boots. They are so fitting of her personality. They embody her spirit. Molly is the founder and vision keeper of Girls on the Run. This program has given me so much and changed my life so when I saw Molly’s boots I wanted to share in that spirit. I searched and searched for my own ‘personality’. I soon found it in the form of hot pink cowboy boots so I ordered them…hoping they would be as cool when they arrived as they seemed online.

Boy was I in for a shock. The boots came today and from the moment I opened the box, I was giddy! I saw them there in their plastic wrap waiting for me and a smile as wide as the Grand Canyon came across my face. I carefully unwrapped each boot and put them on my feet. They fit perfectly. I felt like Cinderella. I slowly stood up and looked down at my boots. A feeling of overwhelming joy washed over me and I began to dance. I sachaed across the floor and just could not take my eyes off the boots. Such a simple, inexpensive thing was making me feel like I was on top of the world. I walked about showing my coworkers my boots just beaming. Call me crazy but I was in love with the boots and the feeling of joy they had given me. Even as I write this I smile. A Christmas morning smile. A smile that comes from a place deep inside.

And when I thought the day could not get better, I got home and found my new running shoes had been delivered. I was tenuous as they are a new model of my favorites but I laced them up and headed off to run. My son had cross country practice so I dropped him off and began my run. One step at a time I realized that these new shoes were so comfy and my feet welcomed them like a old friend. As I listened to my music, I watched the kids run their laps as I ran mine, inspired by their sheer joy of running. 4.5 miles later I was done and so was my son. As we got in the car, he turned to me and asked, “How was your run, mom?” “Good, buddy,” I replied. “Mom, I love when you are so happy. What’s for dinner?” A simple conversation about what is important. Happiness and dinner.

At the end of the day, my 16 year old came into my room and shared with me the sweet way a boy asked her out tonight. In her eyes I see the same joy I was feeling. The giddiness of a small child. The feeling that a simple small thing can make your heart so full it feels ready to burst. The feeling that your smile comes from a place so deep it won’t go away anytime soon.

So as I ready myself for bed, I see the boots across the room waiting to be worn again tomorrow. A simple, easy thing that brings so much joy….giddiness really ….to my soul.