Tag: single mom

Barbie

Kristine Binder

 I often feel like I live in a Barbie world, where pink isn’t just a color; it’s a way of life! My world, a world that often feels like it’s right out of a Barbie dream house, is one that I have carefully curated after my divorce. 
Growing up, I was always enamored with Barbie dolls. The bright pink accessories, the endless wardrobe options, and the glamorous lifestyle – it all seemed like a fantasy come true. And you know what? As I’ve gotten older and after seeing the Barbie movie, I’ve realized that there’s a lot that I have learned from Barbie’s world about embracing imperfections, joy, self-expression, and living life to the fullest.
Barbie embraces her uniqueness and independence. She is not afraid to try different professions and adventures.  She is not defined by others; she defines herself. Being an independent woman means celebrating my autonomy and owning my choices. She has taught me to never underestimate the power of my independence and the influence I can have.
In Barbie’s world, she’s a doctor, a chef, an astronaut, a fashion designer, and so much more. This has taught me, and countless other girls and women, that we can be anything we want to be. Living in a Barbie world means pursuing my passions with unwavering determination. Whether it’s my dream job or a hobby I’m passionate about, I should not be afraid to chase my ambitions and make them a reality.
Barbie built a sisterhood and I too can create a supportive environment for myself and other women. I can choose to surround myself with others who lift me up, support my goals, and celebrate my successes. I can also choose friends and mentors who share my vision and provide grace and guidance.
Barbie’s dream house is a testament to her impeccable style and …well….the color PINK! Barbie’s world encourages me to create a beautiful environment that reflects my personality and brings me joy. Whether it’s decorating my space with vibrant colors, earth tones, fluffy pillows, comfy furniture or antiques, I can infuse my surroundings with elements that make me feel like I’m living in my own dream house.
As I listened to America Ferrara deliver her powerful monologue in the movie I was moved to tears about what it means to be a woman. I was reminded to cherish my strengths as an independent woman, that my strength comes from within, and it’s a source of endless inspiration. 
As a mother it is my hope that I have taught my daughters to embrace their unique talents, resilience, and wisdom. As a woman, I hope that I have shown others not only my strength but also my weaknesses and vulnerabilities because it is these qualities that have empowered me to overcome challenges and seize opportunities.Living in a Barbie world is not just about pink dresses and dream houses; it’s about embracing a mindset of joy, self-expression, and limitless possibilities. Barbie has taught me to infuse a little glamor, whimsy, and sparkle into my  life. After all, my world is whatever I make of it. Why not make it fabulous? Time and Barbie has also taught me is that life as an independent woman is a journey filled with ups and downs. I need to embrace it. I need  to cherish the moments of triumph and learn from the setbacks. Every step I take adds depth and richness to my story. My journey is uniquely mine, and it’s worth every moment. And so is your! Now Get out there and LIVE!
Peace
#tutulady
#forwardisapace

Quiet

Kristine Binder

Today I went for what Tik Tok is calling the quiet girl walk. No dog (too hot as it was the middle of the day), no headphones, no music, no friends…. just me and my thoughts. For over 3 miles it was just the voices in my head and the noises surrounding me. It was honestly an experience that I would recommend to everyone. You don’t realize how constant noise and constant input affect your mental health. Just going for a 30 minute walk by yourself is amazing and it forces you to confront all the things that you try to run or walk away from by distracting yourself with a walking partner, music, podcast or an audiobook. It was the perfect way to stretch my legs midday after working at the desk all morning.
Outside,  the world,  nature…its all my church. Because church can be anywhere that you are in touch with yourself whoever/whatever your higher power is.  Walking and running are meditation for me. My church, if you will. There were so many times I wanted to grab my phone to put my book or some music on the speaker. I wanted to call a friend just to hear someone’s voice and talk to them while holding the phone to my ear. But I resisted those urges, and by the end of the walk, I stopped even checking that I had my phone. I was at peace with it. I had a few arguments with myself and figured a few things out but what I realized is that often times I just need to hear myself think. I spend so mush time with ‘noise’, both good and bad, that I need some quiet once in a while.
It was good to go ‘quiet’ for a while. 
Everyone should try it!
Peace
#tutulady
#forwardisapace

Office

Kristine Binder

Ever since I watched the first episode of Sex and the City, I’ve always harbored a deep desire to have a desk positioned by a window where I could write, just like Carrie Bradshaw. This dream has always held a special place in my heart, not only as a woman but also as a writer. Writing has been a passion of mine, but for quite some time, my own writing journey seems to be lost. I couldn’t seem to find  my voice. I didn’t know the sound of my own voice and if I did, I could not hear myself.
Over the years, I have written about all sorts of things – my thoughts while running, my difficult experience with divorce, and the overwhelming weight of loss and grief. Sine the pandemic, finding my  voice became a difficult task. But then, something remarkable happened; it was as if someone had flipped a switch inside my mind. It is as if somebody turned on the keyboard in my brain and said just start writing. And so I did. And I have. The words come to me at all times of the day and the night. People wonder why am up sometimes at 3 AM sometimes. And it’s not my cortisol levels! I mean it might be my cortisol levels but sometimes I get an idea and I want to start writing. The words are there and I can’t get them out fast enough …. I just want to write.
It seems that creating a space where I am able write, surrounded by things I find inspirational and beautiful didn’t just open up a door to that space, but it opened up a door to my mind, the door to closet where the words have been stored. I don’t know exactly what form my voice will take now, but I do know that the words are starting  to flow….. 
Like the sun like flows through the window into  my brand new office.
Peace.
#forwardisapace
#tutulady

Healing

Kristine Binder

About yesterday….
Those that know me know that delegation is NOT my strong suit!  I like to just do it all myself…. but yesterday I stepped outside my comfort zone and delegated. What a liberating experience!  My other Mama Bears stepped up in grand style showing up with a tent, table, snacks, water and HUGS!  
This is our second year participating in this event and it was a joy once again! I saw people wearing all sorts of shirts and some of my favorites were,   “I love my gay child,” “Proud Mom” “Proud Dad” and “Will Trade Racists for Refugees” !
And I hugged….one armed!  Boy did I hug! 
And I listened. 
I listened as one of my favorite Queens read a beautiful story to children titled, “Families, Families, Families” while children interacted with the story in the sweetest way, sharing what their families look like.  I listened as a woman told me how she recently moved her family from California to Evanston in order to continue safe healthcare and an affirming community for her children. I listened to a  woman share that she was learning to ask how to use correct pronouns. I listened to a mom share how she was learning to love the adult child in front of her and grieve her own losses. I listened to a man who had gotten engaged in the past year and was planning the wedding of his dreams all while preparing for the longevity of marriage by going to couples therapy with his partner. I listened to a young woman tell me that she attends family events alone as her partner is not welcome and her family does not acknowledge her partner. I listened to a man tell me that his own father got a hug from a Free Dad Hugger last year and it seemed to open his heart a bit to his son. 
And I learned….I learned from one of my Mamas that the word of the day was “Bashert.” Bashert is a Yiddish word that means ‘destined’ or ‘meant to be.’  I felt that deep in my bones yesterday with each and every interaction. 
And it did not stop once we cleaned up to go home. I stopped at the store on my way home, yes….in my tutu and FMH shirt! I was stopped by 2 older (80’s) ladies in the parking lot….At first I was a bit apprehensive after my recent encounter at a local fast food establishment, but I stopped to talk to them. They told me they loved my outfit and thanked me for giving hugs. They were  both banished (their word, not mine) from their families when the families found out they were in love and more than just friends. They have been together over 50 years and created their own family of people that love and accepte them. I hugged them both together for a long time….and they were so gentle and caring. I did not let go until they did and when we stepped apart….all of us were crying…in the parking lot of the grocery store!  What a sight! I watched as they walked away with their arms around each other and thought how lucky they were to have found such love in one another. 
Another moment of beshert…..and another reminder of why hugs (and tutus) are so important. 
Love….and hugs….heal. 
Peace
#tutulady
#forwardisapace

Pride

Kristine Binder

Seven years ago I took my son to his first Pride Parade. It was my first in a LONG time so we were both a bit nervous. A core memory was created for both of us that day.
This year we were together again, but not as spectators. We walked together for Free Mom Hugs giving hugs throughout the parade route. Watching my son, his boyfriend, my daughter, their friends give hugs and spread love created another core memory. The sheer joy and emotion of the day is something that I will never forget. My son has gone from an unsure young boy to a confident gay man in the blink of an eye. It has not always been an easy journey for either one of us. Along the way he has shown me what fearlessness looks like, as well as grace and tough love when needed. And, most importantly, he has taught me what it means to be an LQBTQIA+ parent and active ally. He is my superhero. Being an ally is not always fun, nor is it easy, however, he has helped me to understand that it is so worth it!
Representing Free Mom Hugs in the Pride Parade is an opportunity to give hugs to those who need them most. It is an opportunity to bear witness to those who need love and acceptance as they may not experience those things at home. So for over 3 miles, Free Mom Hugs walked into the outstretched arms of those who needed a mom/dad/brother/sister/ally hug. We listened as people told us their story. We hugged as people cried. We loved as people shared. We affirmed as people needed support.
I am always amazed at the sheer number of people who do not feel affirmed for who they are and how they love. It is why I continue to be an ally and a safe space at home, at school and in the world.
That journey all started long ago….with a boy and a cape. My superhero.
Peace.
#tutulady
#forwardisapace