June is Pride month. It took me weeks to process all that happened. I have spent weeks composing posts in my head, starting posts and then abandoning them because I felt like they were inadequate.
My mind was going in a thousand different directions with many of my thoughts leading to anger and frustration. If you know me, you know that for me to speak effectively on a topic, I have to be able to speak from a place of love.
All month I heard a lot about love and acceptance but I also heard a lot of hate speech and stories that made my heart hurt. I needed time to process the hurt before writing. I am blessed that I can process this hurt that I feel. Some people live with the pain every day. Some live with anger and disapproval on a daily basis. Some people do not have the resources and or tools to help them process feelings appropriately.
Can you imagine having to meet with your parents, sit them down and say “Mom, Dad……I am heterosexual. I want to date the opposite gender.” Then having your parents tell you that you are no longer welcome in their home. Or that you need to go to a “camp” to “fix you.” Or living in secret for years in fear of all the consequences of who you love?
There were many times I personally have not felt the love….
While wearing a rainbow shirt, I was asked at a local grocery store if I supported “those fags” by a lady I didn’t know.
A friend was accosted outside a local market by a religious zealot recruiting people to protest the pride parade in the City.
I was told the being gay is not a sin but acting on it is….consequently unfriending someone because they told me that my son and I would burn in Hell.
I heard so many stories of coming out, with the suffering and anguish that followed, that broke my heart.
I know the struggles of my own son. I know that at times I do/say things that are incorrect/hurtful just because I don’t know any better. But I try…every day I try. I ask questions and learn what I can so I able to be the best mom and human to both my son and other people.
It is my hope that all people, adults and children, can find a place of love and acceptance. It is my daily prayer that I can be that place for all that I meet.
Forward is a pace.