Author: Kristine Binder

Forward

Kristine Binder

Uncharted territory. I am moving forward into uncharted waters on a rainy, cold, spring day hopeful you all will join me!

During this pandemic, I was given the opportunity to participate in a group coaching class. It was an amazing experience and one that I would not have been able to afford otherwise. I learned a great deal that I hope to share with others as I move forward.

As a part of the class, we were encouraged to set new goals and forced to face many roadblocks that often get in the way of reaching those goals.

My goal? Inspire and empower others, especially women, to live up to their fullest potential.

I am a self proclaimed procrastinator so taking the steps I need in order to reach my goals are often pushed to the back burner. Not this time. I am holding myself accountable, as I do so well with others, to create a space and place of inspiration and empowerment!

We all have obstacles to overcome. We all have stories to share. We may not be in the same boat but we all weather the storms of life. The knowledge that someone else has “been there and done that” may just give someone else the strength to hang on a bit longer.

I am a firm believer in the powers of kindness, optimism, moving forward, and supporting others. It is my hope and prayer that this blog and website, along with my book, help others to find the good, making lemonade from the lemons life often hands us.

So let’s move forward! I am here to help you inner tutulady (or badass, or whatever you want to call it!) and leave a little sparkle where ever you go!

Peace
#tutulady
#forwardisapace

Anxious

Kristine Binder

Anxiety. Anxiousness.
 We are all feeling it to some extent. We may not show it, but we are all feeling it. In the past few days alone I have spoken with 6 different women who all voiced their conflicted and anxious feelings. I am feeling it too. It shows up in different ways for all of us. We went from panic buying toilet paper, to schools closing and learning to managing e-learning/homeschooling to working from home and then an order to shelter in place. All while trying to manage our family and home…..putting our own feelings on the back burner.
Teachers are trying to manage technology (as well as reach those without it) and meet the expectations of a classroom/administration/parents. Employees trying to manage office expectations while working from home. Employees trying to work and stay healthy/safe at essential businesses. Businesses trying to manage either virtually or physically. Our front line first responders and ESPECIALLY our healthcare workers……. are trying to manage in new and uncertain times. We are all doing our best ….and that changes from minute to minute….even second to second.
I see women all over social media either taunting their ability to manage it all, flaunting their cooking and craft projects, or bitching about their situations/kids/spouses. Some are trying to find excuses for sitting still and doing little to nothing and/or allowing their kids to do the same. Some are trying to fill eve3ry second with new and exciting tasks.
We need to stop…..this is not a Quarantine competition! We have gotten so used to impressing each other with posts and images that we have forgotten to appreciate moments. We are all doing the best we can considering the circumstances. The closet you have been dying to clean out….it will wait. That recipe you have been meaning to make….it will wait. That email you must answer…..it will wait.  What ever it is…it will wait.
Take a minute and catch your breath.  Allow yourself the space to breathe. Allow yourself some grace. When things slow down and we are out of our routine, we often get anxious. We start to feel things! So feel the feelings you have right now even if you can not name them all. Embrace the suck! Feel the fear, anxiety, and uncertainty. Feel the frustration, anger, and loneliness. Feel the love, tenderness, and joy. Feel all those feelings and then keep breathing. We all need to allow ourselves the grace and hold the space for ourselves and others to feel and just breathe.
Today, take a minute and set it all down. Just set all of it down and take a breath. You do not have to do it all, be it all, fix it all. Not right now. Set it down and just breathe. We are all anxious. We all feel the uncertainty. We are all going to all be in this for a while and we need to find our own pace throughout it all. So for now….set it down, just breathe and know you are not alone.
Peace.
#tutulady
#forwardisapace

Mental

Kristine Binder

Depression. Anxiety. Panic Attacks. PTSD. BiPolar. Substance Abuse. Mental Illness.
All things people do not talk about. They are like the new ‘C’ word. Whispered in conversation. Joked about.  Avoided all together.
All are real. All are deadly.
Physical illness is something people can see and “treat” so that seems to be more acceptable. Mental illness is not easily diagnosed or treated, nor is it “acceptable” so people often hide it, self medicate or just give in to it.
None of it is easy and all of it is embarrassing. It carries a horrible stigma of mental hospitals and crazy psych wards like we have seen in the movies (One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, anyone?). But that is not the case any longer.
I have been treated for all of the above. I see a therapist regularly. I fought, and had to get a court order, for my children to attend therapy. They didn’t like it for a while but now? They are researching their own therapists in order to go back and get help.
I honestly do not know where I would be without my therapist. I have had 2 over the years. One that I walked away from as she told me my anxiety, panic attacks and depression were due to a horrible marriage. I knew it deep down but I also knew that opening that door would lead to a mess I was not capable of cleaning up even with the most trusted professional. I walked out of her office and thought I could stuff it all away forever. NOPE.
A year later, I really thought I was losing my mind. I secretly visited an inpatient facility and went through the entire intake process. It was recommended that I check in immediately as  they were concerned for my wellbeing…..but I walked away. No, honestly, I ran away as fast as I could…I didn’t want them to catch me! Opening that door ….nope. Not happening. No thank you. The mess had only gotten larger and more difficult to clean up.
I finally got to a place and found a person I could trust. She helped me open the door a little at a time and mopped up the mess as it spilled out of me. She allowed some light to enter back my life. And once I saw that light? I knew that there was no going back. I needed to help to maintain balance.
Mental illness does not have an easy fix. People self medicate daily to combat demons with all sorts of things like exercise, caffeine, drugs booze, food, gambling…you name it.   I know the struggle is real and that it is a day to day battle to keep the demons in check. They creep in sometimes and I fall down the rabbit hole…..sometimes I fall deeper than others. It is not pretty when that happens. It is hard for those who suffer to crawl out of that hole alone….I know it is hard for me sometimes. But on those days, I know that have seen the light before and I know it is out there somewhere….I just may  need help finding it. So check on your strong friends, the ones that you think have it all together. They may not tell you how weak they feel but that check in, that phone call, that text message….. it might save a life.
Peace
#tutulady
#forwardisapace

Sometimes

Kristine Binder

Valentine’s Day 2013
I spent a cold dreary February day at a funeral.
It is a day etched in my mind for many reasons. 

It is a day that, though sad, made me realize that
sometimes love,
means leaving.
Sometimes love means saying goodbye.
Sometimes love means putting yourself first.
Sometimes love means pain.
Sometimes love means you have to face the facts
Sometimes love looks nothing like what you thought it was supposed to…..and you realize that it’s not love at all.
It’s abuse.
Sometimes love means leaving.
Sometimes love means finding the courage to do what is best and that takes time.
Sometimes love makes you do things outside your character.
Sometimes love motivates you to want more.
Sometimes love fills the empty places you never knew existed.
Sometimes love looks nothing like you thought it would….
Sometimes love is right in front of you.
Sometimes love is staring back at you in the mirror.
Sometimes love is you.
Love yourself enough to put yourself and safety first.
Love yourself, trust yourself and respect yourself enough to leave behind what no longer serves you.
Love yourself and trust yourself enough to move forward
Love yourself because you are worth it
Sometimes love means starting over because
Sometimes love means leaving.

Peace
#tutulady
#forwardisapace