Author: Kristine Binder

You know you are a real runner when you can talk about bodily functions without flinching.

The story of my Half marathon today has to be told in 2 parts. Part one is the drive to the race and hanging with my running girls. Part 2 is actually the race report with all the happened while running 13.1 miles.

The alarm went off at 3:30 and we were out the door by 4:45 to meet the other car full of ladies. It was dark, rainy and miserable. We chatted and checked 3 different smartphone apps for weather…watching the green blob that was the rain move slowly from over the race site to  the Lake.  It was not moving fast enough for any of us.

We arrived at the race and many of us had bathroom issues to attend to…however it was still raining and no one wanted to leave the car. The thought of running through the rain to relieve ourselves was not appealing at all. We talked a lot about it and other ‘personal issues’. Things that would/could NEVER be discussed in the company of non runners. Not many people would understand the need for a good poop before a run. Not many people would understand the need to apply body glide to nether regions of the body. Not many people would understand the need to wear the proper bra/underwear or go commando. Not many people talk about these things nor laugh so hard they cry about these issues.

We talked and laughed and eventually the rain let up and we could head to the bathrooms…stage fright got the best of some of us. We would have to run with a full bowel. We headed to the start and race our own races. Some needed a stop along the way to ‘lighten the load’.

After we had a brat we headed to the car. Once we all changed into some dry clothing, we took off and headed home…stinky, sweaty, and smiling with our medals around our necks. More discussion of the race and more discussion of bodily functions lead to more laughs and a few “oh not you didn’t”s!

Thank goodness I have such wonderful running buddies. Who would I tell my deepest, darkest personal body secrets to? Who would laugh with me about all things disgusting? Who else would consider this all ‘normal’? My running friends rock…and poop. Peace.

As moms we worry. We worry about so many things but mostly we worry about our kids. We worry that we are good enough and that we won’t mess the up to much …. We don’t want them to attend to many years of therapy!

We live much of our “mom life” in what seems to be a vacuum. We don’t want to appear less than any other mom. We want others to think we live a bucolic life devoid of problems. We have a hard time allowing anyone into our world … allowing anyone behind the “shower curtain” that is our life.

It is in this need for acceptance that we find ourselves alone. However if we opened up to one another…accepted more and judged less…we would find that many of us have so much in common. We are all longing to be a ‘good mom’. We want our kids to like us and respect us. We hate to discipline our kids…often it is harder on us than on them. We want a better life for our children. And we want our children to be happy and successful.

It is time that we opened up a bit. It is time that we allow others to see the imperfection that is our life. It is time that we help each other and lift each other up. We all want the same things but need the help of one another to achieve greatness. Peace.

I had planned to write about the not so glamorous side of parenting. I had planned to write about my weakness as a parent. I had planned to write about how much I dislike and how exhausting it is to be the bad guy all the time.
Well, while all that is still true … difficult and exhausting, my perspective is a bit different at this point in time. I am blessed with kids that wear me down and wear me out. They are just “normal” kids. They are far from perfect but they are healthy.
I went back to work today and was greeted with a host of emails and phone calls that needed returning. In those emails were parent notes letting me know of job loss, impending divorces and hospitalized children…one of which has cancer.
I thought of these families and children for a long time this morning as guilt washed over me. Who am I to complain and stress about my own children’s missteps? I am blessed to have my problems and not the problems these families face.
So as I look at a photo of my kids all I can think of is that they not perfect, nor am I, but we are healthy and my husband comes home safely from work every night. I am so blessed. I just needed to shift my perspective to see my blessings…
  Peace.

Yesterday I got home from my run and was greeted by my 9year old son asking me what we were going to do all day. It is rare that we have an unscheduled day with time to spare. I did have a million things to do of my own (laundry, cooking, grocery shopping, etc) but replied, “how about a walk?”. He ran to get dressed and then leashed up the dog while I hydrated and refueled.
We loaded the dog and camera in the car and headed to the forest preserve. It was a cloudy, mild day and the trail was busy but we walked, looked at the world around us and chatted. The world is a very interesting place when viewed through the eyes of a 9 year old boy. He sees things I overlook. He hears things I don’t. He thinks deep thoughts and has a sense of humor that rivals many adults. Don’t get me wrong, he can be a pest and get under my skin but there are days like today that make up for it all.
As we walked, he pointed out things he thought were interesting and I photographed each item. A beautiful collaboration created these photos as we walked. Peace.

“While you never know what gifts life will bring, you can trust that every sunrise offers possibilities. Every day holds beautiful moments and new dreams waiting for you to come and find them.” {Duvall}
So today soak up all that is good. Enjoy those small successes. Enjoy your family. Enjoy a run, a bike ride, a walk….whatever you do ….. see, hear, enjoy, and soak up all that is good!

Our name is so important to our identity. Think about it …when someone says, “yea!” we are happy but when someone says,”yea, (our name)!” we turn our head and feel the personal connection.
A few weeks ago I took 6 8th grade girls to volunteer at a local soup kitchen. It was an eye opening experience for these teens. They don’t really know the face of hunger and the face of the poor in this country. As I was moving through the room pouring coffee and juice for the guests there was a man who caught my eye. He was a tall larger framed fellow sporting a bright pink tshirt and blue sweatpants wearing a brighter pink backpack on his back. He was balding and had obviously been out in the sun as his scalp was pinkish as well. He sat and waited patiently for dinner. I asked him what he would like to drink and he said juice. He was so sweet and kind. I knew he was special. I asked him his name and he responded “Buddy”. I told him my name and we started to chat. I told him I loved his pink shirt and backpack as pink is my favorite color (REALLY). He told me that he gets picked on a lot because of his affection for the color pink but he no longer cares. He told me that he has made peace with himself and loves that he is different from others. I loved his candor and honesty. He was incredibly kind hearted. I moved on and helped others checking on Buddy regularly. As I was cleaning up, he walked over to me and said, “thank you, Kristine”. He told me he looked forward to my returning as I was kind to him. I explained it was I that wanted to return to visit him and learn more from him. We parted ways and as he left with his pink backpack filled with snacks for later I wondered where he was off to and where he spent his time. I will never forget the lessons of my friend Buddy. He told me not many people called him by his real name…..they called him names. I learned more from Buddy than I realized. I was reminded of the importance of our names.
So today as I set off on a run with 2 of my running ladies I was not thinking about names or anything other than putting one foot in front of the other and completeing my run. As I ran the trails I have run for 3 years I saw a famililiar face. He is an older genlteman (in his 80’s) with an intense expression and an odd stride. I see him every weekend when we are out on our long runs We passed him once today and I told the girls that I was tired of just smiling at him and was going to ask this man his name. They laughed and tried to guess his name (“Bob” was a common suggestion) so I stopped him ….and for anyone who knows runners knows how we don’t like to be stopped when we are in forward motion so I was taking a risk here. He slowed as I asked him his name. “Ed” he replied with a wide smile….I was unsure if he was flattered that I wanted to know his name or that 3 good looking women wanted to know his name. “Nice to meet you, Ed! Have a great run”. And the girls and I continued on as Ed finished his run in the opposite direction. I will now happily use his name as I bid him good morning on our runs. I look forward to seeing that wide smile again.
Connections are important in this time of millions of friends on social networks and no real feeling of connectedness. Building connections is vital in the communities where we live and work. Names are a key part of connections. Names…they can build you up or break you down. Learn the names of those people in your community and use names to build others up …and build bridges. Peace.