Author: Kristine Binder

Running is so many things to me and provides so much in my life. One of those things is Peace. I find a great sense of peace on my runs alone….sometimes more than others.

Friday was one of those peace filled runs. I did not want to run long nor did I want to go fast. I had just rediscovered my passion for running and did not want to to dwindle with a cruddy run. I knew I had a long run planned with some girls for Saturday morning so this was about getting out and not wasting a beautiful day.

I started out and really did not have a set loop or route planned. I was just moving forward. Somehow I found myself in one of my favorite running spots….and one I have not visited in a LONG while. Destiny, perhaps. My subconscious driving my run, perhaps. A higher power in charge and guiding my feet, perhaps. Whatever way it happened I found myself crossing the street and heading into the cemetery.

Yes, I run in the cemetery. I used to go there once a week but have not run there in a long time. I live near a very large cemetery (actually 2 that are connected) and it has wonderful paved pathways which I can runs miles and miles of loops or one giant loop. Ok…I know what you are thinking….isn’t that disrespectful/sac religious/creepy/morbid/icky/scary/odd/weird/……the list goes on and on. I have heard it all….mostly from my kids….about how I am nuts.

I run through the cemetery and feel an overwhelming sense of peace. It is quiet and really safe. There are not a lot of cars and I can run in the middle of the road! I love to look at the beautiful and unique headstones and monuments, many of which are very old (1800’s) and very ornate. There is a mausoleum where many priests are laid to rest and other family mausoleums dating back to the late 1800’s and early 1900’s. I have past Dr. Fortune and the Bad/Day family plot (FOR REAL!). I do not feel it is my place to take a photo of these but they are real! The newer section of the cemetery had very contemporary monuments made of beautiful black and grey granite. It is quite a contrast to the older sections. But as I run, I do not feel lonely at all. I feel enveloped  by love and life. I try to imagine the lives and loves of these people that surround me. I wonder how many people visit them and how often. I wonder if those they left behind miss them and honor their memory. I wonder if people will visit me when I die. I wonder what their legacy is and what mine will be.

I am so often lost in thought I rarely notice those people that are visiting others. During one run some time ago, a woman stopped me. She startled me at first as I thought something was wrong. She was crying as she stepped in front of me. I stopped and asked if everything was ok. She cried a bit more and said that it was. She told me she was visiting her daughter (and proceeded take me arm and guide me to her headstone!). She then told me I reminded her of her daughter. She said I was sent by her husband and daughter (freaking out? YUP…I was too!) to remind her not to cry but to live….. that her daughter didn’t want her to visit and be sad but visit and be reminded to live. I began to cry….see I have always believed that things happen for a reason. I believe that we are surrounded by angels …..this was no coincidence. We spoke for a few more minutes as she told me about her daughter (who died at 31 after a long illness never having married nor having children.) and that her husband was buried right next to her. She was alone….except for friends.  We soon parted ways and I finished my run. I have not seen that woman again since but I do stop at that site each time I run through the cemetery and say a prayer…..for the girl, her father and especially her mother. I wonder if she ever came back. I wonder where she is and how she is doing. I know she is still alive as there is still one vacant plot next to her husband.

Peace can be found in the strangest places and oddest times.  I choose to find my peace surrounded by beauty. I choose to find my peace enveloped in love and life.  I choose to find my peace in my running. Peace.

Sometimes we have to go back to the beginning to find ourselves all over again. We can then continue the journey with renewed confidence and energy.

That is what I did on Thursday of this week. Some people think that my running comes easy and is all sunshine and roses. That is NOT the case. Last month I was really sick with an upper respiratory infection and sinus infection. To add to the misery, I pulled a chest muscle(it has a fancy name I can not pronounce!) that made it difficult to breathe. It was like wearing a bra that was 5 sizes too small on one side of my chest. I stopped running for a while and allowed my body to heal. When I decided to try running, I went to the treadmill as I was terrified to get too far from home and not be able to breathe. So I ran short distances on the TM until one beautiful afternoon last week my kids shoved me out the door and said, “Get outside…..” It was a really slow, crappy run.  I was nervous the whole time. I had been ramping up the miles but not the speed. What I realized was I was lacking confidence.

So…Thursday I went back to my roots….back to where I started from a few short years ago. I dug out my old faithful running tights, too big race shirt (from one of my first 5Ks), no hat, old shoes (yes I still have my first pair and no, it was not the best idea…hindsight there!), no Garmin, and my very first running playlist. I leashed up the dog for a mid day run just like the old days and set off to run one of my original loops …. in search of something. What I was looking for I was not quite certain but I knew this was something I had to do for myself. This run was not about time. It was not about pace. It was not about gadgets(but oh, I love my gadgets!). It was about finding myself. It was about going back to where I began and finding my roots as a runner. If I could find those roots, then perhaps I could replant myself firmly back in my running shoes (the new ones this time!).

The sun was high in the sky and the dog was pulling at the leash, thrilled to head out and sniff every blade of grass. I, too, was about the sights and smells of my run. I was tuned back in. I could smell the fresh cut grass (which I am allergic to….but love the smell), the blooming lilacs, someone cooking bacon and other doing laundry. I drank in all the beautiful blooming flowers, bushes and trees in my neighborhood.  I said hello to neighbors playing in the park.  I took off the music after a few blocks and enjoyed the sounds of spring. It was a joy to see my pup loving life and prancing along as we moved through our run together. I could feel the warm sun on my shoulders and the soft breeze on my face.  Before I knew it I had returned home again feeling like I could run another 4 miles. I was recharged and renewed after this 4 mile run more so than I had been in a very long time.  This was exactly what I needed. I found my running roots and they were strong. They did need replanting in a better pair of shoes…. shoes that could support the new growth ready to take place. Peace.

Amazing things can happen at the most unusual times and in the most unlikely places. Today was one of those days and the local grocery was one of those places.
I stopped in to our local market aptly named Happy Foods for some bread and cheese for dinner. I was not going to stop but I had a minute so I parked and went in. Usually the kids don’t like to go in nor do I like them to as it changes a 5 minute $10 stop into a 15 minute $30 battle of wearing mom down. However today they all wanted to come in and I had a strong resolve so in we went!
I got the 2 items on my list and was talked into chorizo and asparagus for breakfast. I lost count of the times I said no but we made it to the check out with only 4 items. I paid for our purchases and as I was putting the cart away I saw a familiar face. I was going to turn and walk out but stopped and decided to take a chance.
Me, “you walk in the neighborhood don’t you?”
Man, “yes, I try to go 2 or 3 miles every day no matter the weather.”
Me, “I want you to know that you are my inspiration. I am a runner and when I am having a bad run or want to quit, I think of you. You are amazing.”
There was a stunned silence and people moved behind us to enter and leave the store. My children have surrounded us as the Man’s eyes well with tears.
Man, “Thank you,” he stultters, “I walk every day because I am afraid if I skip one day then I will skip another and eventually I will no longer be able to move.”
See….this man is paralyzed in one side of his body, walks with a severe limp and a cane. Every step takes effort and looks like it is painful to him but he is out there…for 2 to 3 miles every day. I have watched him for over 2 years walking the local streets and in the park.
Me, “Well, you are my inspiration and I thought you should know. I just wanted you to know that I admire you so very much. ”
Man, “thank you.”
We parted company as the checkers and baggers watched. The look on his face is one that I will never forget.
We got to the car and my kids, who are never at a loss for words, were silent. We traveled home in silence. I know that they are embarrassed by me and the fact that I talk to everyone regardless of whether I know the folks or not mortifies them. I didn’t know what they would have to say about this incident.
As we pulled in the driveway, 14 started to clap and the others joined in. They all smiled at me and the words came fast, furious, and all at once…..”Mom, that was amazing!” “Did you see that mans face?” “He was so sweet and so touched.” “Mom, I think you may have made his day…even week” “mom, I am so proud of you for telling that man that we see him walking!” “That man was so cool” “Mom, do you think he will remember us?”…… And so it went as we went into the house and got dinner ready. I knew I had done something right as one posted it on FB and another Tweeted about it.
I don’t know if I will ever run into this man again. I don’t know if I made him happy or scared him I don’t know if my kids will remember this tomorrow. What I do know that my kids saw something that allowed them to be proud of me. I do know that I took the time to stop and express my gratitude to another human being. I do know is my heart is full. I know that I will end this day knowing that I did the right thing. I do know that amazing things can happen at the most unusual times and in the most unlikely places.

I have come to a place in my life and my running that speed is no longer an issue. I have accepted my turtle status with gratitude and grace. Running, to me, is about so much more than the time on the clock. My training runs are my work. They provide me with the tools necessary for race day. The provide a solid foundation from which I can build a better, stronger body. Race days are a different story….they are my play!
The whole process of racing from choosing the race to who is running with me to the weather are fun for me. It is sheer play. I used to line up all serious about getting a PR or beating the person next to me….now racing is about so much more. I enjoy the whole experience. I try to find a costume that fits the theme of the race and wear it to the delight of other runners. My goal? Make them smile! I watch other runner’s as I move through the course, commenting on shirts or giving advice to less experienced runners that seem to be having trouble. Oh…and I play! I sing out loud, I dance, I run and have fun! Oh and don’t forget the bling! I love to run for bling!
This attitude adjustment has come from my Girls on the Run. Running is fun for them. They love to run and beg to get out and see what they can accomplish. For them there is nothing too difficult, no pace to fast or too slow….they are all about fun! The sheer joy expressed feeds my soul. They encourage one another, assist one another and keep each other smiling. This is what running is supposed to be…at least to me.
I ran my first race in a tutu last weekend and the feelings were I had while running were amazing. I felt like a powerful princess. My goal is to give back to my girls what they give me. They give me the gift of play as well as so many other gifts. I want to give them the gift of feeling like that powerful princess. Therefore, We began something a few weeks ago called the tutu spirit award. Each time we meet the girl that exhibits the most of what GOTR stands for gets to wear the tutu as we run. Some of what we look for are:

It is in this spirit that I choose to live my life. I may not have a visible tutu every day but the spirit is there. Tutu spirit lives in my heart to be shared every day. Peace.

Each day is filled with small moments that can turn your life one way or other. Moments that can change your attitude and your outlook. Moments that can stop you in your tracks.

Today I had one of those “stop you in your tracks” moments. I was having a really bad morning. It seemed as though nothing could go right. Too much to do and not enough time. No one was moving out of beds and towards the door. My children were not cooperating and my reaction to their behavior was not one of my better parenting moments.
Arriving at school just compounded the problems as now there were a whole new set of issues, parents and emails that required my attention. As I flew through the first hour of the day, all I could think of was all that needed to be done and how I was not really at my best….too scattered and frustrated.

The bell rang and the students began to enter….21 human beings with plenty of their own baggage arriving in my classroom. Time to focus on them and end my pity/anger/frustration party.

One of my students walked over to me and handed me a bright pink (my favorite color) agitate rock and a note. I slowed long enough to thank her and moved on to the next issue at hand (a forgotten lunch). A few minutes later I had a moment to stop and open the note…..it stopped me dead in my tracks. It was a reminder of why I get up and come to work each day….for kids like this. It was a reminder of why I love teaching so much. It was a reminder of what is important. A simple note from a child with unimaginable power.

Never underestimate the power of your actions; with one small gesture you can change a persons life. God puts us all in each others lives to impact one another in some positive way. Look for God in others and leave them smiling by your actions of kindness. One moment is all it takes…….
 Peace.