Baggage. We all have it. It is the stuff we carry around with us. All those little anxieties and insecurities that we carry with us from one day to the next, one relationship to the next, one experience to the next. We can learn it, inherit it, create it, or have it thrust upon us but what we do with it and how we carry it is up to us. It is our choice in how we handle that baggage. I have often been called a ‘bag lady’. I love a good purse of any size…but honestly, the bigger the better! And it is in the purse, I carry EVERYTHING! I went from teacher bag to diaper bag to giant purse. I have also carried everything for everyone else. I have everything for everyone all the time. “I put in in your purse…” “It is in my purse somewhere…” are common phrases in my family. But when I slowed down and started cleaning out my purse, I realized how much crap I was carrying that was not mine and how much of my own crap that I was carrying that I did not need. I had been so insecure and afraid for years that I was carrying things ‘just in case’ out of sheer fear. I needed to unpack. I needed to prioritize what was important to ME and face the fear head on. When I started to unpack my emotional baggage, I realized that it was taking over and defining me. Emotional baggage slows and sometimes stops us from reaching our goals. We head into emotional overwhelm without really ever realizing it. I was not just overwhelmed…..I was buried and suffocating! I needed to find a way to lighten the load. Unpacking was not fast nor easy and I often feel like it will never really end. But just like cleaning out a purse, we have to sort and get rid of what we do not need any more. I no longer want to carry around a steamer trunk, or even a large purse, full of stuff I don’t need. I am downsizing like a flight attendant with a small, carefully curated bag filled with only the necessities in travel sized containers. The bag I carry now is smaller. It is packed intentionally with only what will serve me in this next stage of my life. What are you carrying around stuff that is not yours? Are you carrying around stuff that is no longer serving you? It is time to unpack and travel a little lighter. Peace. #tutulady #forwardisapace
This was taken outside the courthouse August 9, 2017
Emancipation Day Independence Day Liberation Day Release Day Got My Name Back Day Freedom Day Today is the 3rd anniversary of my divorce. Getting to this point cost me 25 years of my life and thousands of dollars however the emotional toll it took on me and my kids cost the most. Therefore, I honor the journey! With each year that passes, I can see more clearly that this day is truly a day to celebrate. It is the day I took my life back. It is the day I decided I wanted more. It is the day I took my name and my life back. The first year was hard. It was difficult to have faith in myself and my abilities. The constant fighting of the previous 2 years during the divorce had consumed me. That had overflowed into all parts of my life. I could feel the overwhelm and began to see it in my friends and family too. They were tired FOR me. The final ruling from the judge was like a sigh of relief….for all of us. It was then on me to find my way forward. Year 2 was so much better. I was finding my way and getting stronger with each passing day. I was discovering who I was at this point in my life and creating my new identity. It was like peeling the layers of an onion. With each victory and each setback I was learning and I was moving in the right direction. I was finding my way forward. Year 3 was one of the best yet! I have made so many gains and realized dreams that I never thought possible….a best selling book, a job I love, becoming a Certified Professional Life Coach, public speaking, emotional and financial stability…. the list goes on and on. I feel that I am becoming the woman I was always meant to be. I am finding my way forward. So today, just like each year on this day, I remember the courage it took to free myself. I remember how hard I fought to save my family. I remember how hard I fought to save myself and create a better life for my children. I remember the mistakes I made and all the lessons I learned in the process. Instead of focusing on the pain, I find comfort in the good times and growth. I know, deep in my soul, that I am stronger and capable of so much more than I ever imagined. I am moving forward, focused on the future. I am courageous. I am brave. I am empowered. I am free. I am ME! Peace, #tutulady #forwardisapace
“I hate running. It sucks ass…” That was the text I get from a friend while out on my run today. As I finished reading her text, a runner and his guide passed me on the street moving at a pretty good clip, so much so that I barely got a photo of them. For those who are not aware, guides help impaired (visually, hearing, physically, etc)runners go for runs outside safely. My friend was out for a run today too (hers much longer distance than mine, but I digress!) So I texted her the photo and wrote that yes, some days running sucks and some days running is good. Every day running makes us cry…sometimes good reasons and sometimes not so great ones. Embrace the suck today. Head up, shoulders back, it will be over soon. We need to just embrace the suck and power through those runs. We need those sucky runs to appreciate the good ones. It is the same with life. Not every day is sunshine, roses, unicorns and rainbows. Some days just inhaling and exhaling is a chore. Some days everything goes right and all the pieces fall into place effortlessly. Some days it all falls apart, we may lose critical pieces and Ikea furniture assembly is easier than our life. We have to learn to embrace it all. That DOES NOT mean we have to like it! We can yell and scream and complain…..we can sit in that suck for a bit but then we get up and move forward. We need those crappy days in life in order to appreciate the good ones. We need the ability reach the high places in order to gain the perspective and know what is possible on the other side of the sucky low place. I continued my run with open eyes and an open heart. I saw a cardinal (“Cardinals appear when angels are near”) that seemed to follow me for a bit. I saw a father and his young son playing on the baseball diamond. I took a break with my furry running buddy to allow him some “fetch” time on the tennis courts. Sidenote, we should all be as happy as this little pup gets when he is sprinting after his ball. I finished with a run through a sprinkler to cool off(something I usually avoid!). Not every day is going to be great. Not every day is going to suck. Embrace each day for what it is. Find the small, good things because just like a run, it will eventually end. Eventually the run will be done and the day will end. Head up, shoulders back, embrace the suck. Tomorrow is a new day! Peace, #tutulady #forwardisapace
Last month I was asked to write an update about my like since The Lemonade Stand Book was published for a magazine. Below is what was published as well as a link to the magazine.
If someone had told me all of the changes that would happen to me in one year…that I would connect with some amazing women, write my story and become a bestselling author, I would have told them they were silly ….but a lot can change in a year! In the spring of 2019 a high school friend of mine invited me to be a part of a book project. She had been following me on social media and knew part of my story. She said that this was a perfect opportunity to share my stories, inspiring others, as I had inspired her. Well, through her insistence, I connected with the publisher and editor multiple times. I gave them every excuse not to be a part of the project and they had a response for each one! I had recently started a new business. The additional investment of this project scared me to death. They soon helped me realize I was investing in myself and my future. We then created a financial plan that worked for me and my budget. Once I took that initial step forward, it was all downhill from there. The scariest part was over! Ok, that is not really the truth but I had taken the first step on a journey that would further change the course of my life. Forward is a pace has long been my motto. It matters not how fast I am going as long as I am moving forward. One step was leading to the next as I moved forward. Step two was actually putting the words on paper and writing out my story. Once I sat down and got centered, the words flowed out like water, flooding the pages. It was one of the most cathartic experiences of my life! Putting my story on paper was like opening the curtains and letting the light into a room that had been dark for far too long. I think I had forgotten the feeling of the warm sunshine on my face, the freedom that comes with sharing what has been hidden. The freedom that comes with sharing the truth . Oftentimes the reason that truth is hidden is because, like in my case, it was not pretty. Step three was allowing my own children to read what I had written. This was difficult. I am always careful about sharing parts of my life as this directly affects my children. They are now young adults, each having their own narratives and lives, thus they are affected indirectly. Once they approved, I hit send for the final time! Women are powerful when we believe in ourselves and each other. We are unstoppable when we channel our energy towards a positive purpose. I leaned heavily on the women who had been in this space before as we moved throughout the process, bringing this project to completion. Once the book was released, it became a bestseller! I was overwhelmed and overjoyed! How has this process and the past year changed me? Well, with the pandemic and all the changes that have accompanied it, the trajectory of the school year and my life have been drastically altered! Having the experience and confidence with the book project, allowed me the freedom to grow my brand. Prior to the shutdown, I had the opportunity to speak to women’s groups about the book and my story which ignited a new fire within me. I used the time during lockdown to create and release my own website. I am currently in the process of developing and launching my own personal empowerment coaching business, learning new things daily from my “Lemonade Sisters” I was fearful to open myself up to this new opportunity. I realized that by sharing my story, I gave others permission to do the same. I have been contacted by many people who were not aware of my journey. They shared the ways in which they were inspired by my bravery, honesty, and vulnerability. I have learned to believe in myself and my potential. I continue to take risks and trust myself. I am a firm believer in God-incidences. I believe that God brought me to this project so that I could learn and grow, becoming more confident, all while inspiring others. It is no accident that these women have become a strong support system and lift me up when I lose my way. I made myself a promise long ago that I will always move forward, no matter how fast or slow. I have spent the past year moving forward, navigating each detour, moving over every speed bump, and pulling myself out of each ditch along the way. I have put myself back on the road forward….with the help of my newfound confidence and help from some friends. No matter what happens moving forward, I will always be putting one foot in front of the other inspiring others to do the same. Peace, #tutulady #forwardisapace To read the whole issue of the magazine, click HERE
Kristine Binder 