Tag: women's empowerment

Stories

Kristine Binder

I met a woman through a mutual friend. She said she was divorced as well and while we talked, I realized she was holding back. As her kids ran towards the water, I said “Tell me more.”
She said a few things and then looked at me sideways…..
“You get it! You understand…..I can just tell….. “
And then the real conversation began….
We as women need to own our truth and our story. When we do, we allow other women to do the same especially the women that surround us. Our story may not always be pretty but impression management has gotten a better of us. I know because I did it for years. We use social media to manage other people’s vision of us which has made it worse. While we are looking for the carefully curated photo and post, we have lost ourselves. We want others to believe our life is perfect, but that is not reality. That further widens the divide.  Other women feel they can not relate to our lives….when, in-fact, if we were more real, we would realize we have far more in common. 
The women that I love and relate most to are those that are imperfect. They own their story making them the bravest, most badass warriors in my eyes.  I may not know all the details of the story or those imperfections but I know that they struggle with all sorts of different issues. I know that their life is not all sunshine and rainbows, Again they may not share all the gritty details but I know they’ve been through some shit. I can relate to and admire that authenticity.  
We women need to own our story. Good, the bad and the ugly. We all have chapters that are short, some are shorter than others. We all have those long chapters we thought would never end. We have chapters that we only write in draft form and never share. We have some chapters, the details of which, have only been shared with those that are closest with us. All those chapters make up who we are as a human. 
There will always be those that want to tell our story for us.  Some that tell stories that are not theirs to tell and stories they do not understand. We can not stop them.  What we can do is fearlessly own our story and live our truth allowing our strength, truth, honesty and transparency to inspire others. 
Let’s stop worrying about what other people think. Those closest to us know the truth, appreciate our honesty and will love us unconditionally.  
 Peace,
#tutulady
#forwardisapace

Elephants

Kristine Binder
David Yarrow Photography

A few years ago I read a story shared by Jen Hatmaker and Nicole Nordeman. It was a story of female elephants. When I read it at that time, I thought, “Huh….that sure is interesting. I am so glad she has a tribe like that.” And moved on with my life.
This past week, Jen made the announcement that she and her husband were getting divorced, thus the story surfaced again. This time when I read the story, it really got me thinking about women, support and how we show it.
In summary, female elephants are amazing badass creatures. In the wild, female elephants travel in packs. When a female elephant is giving birth, she is surrounded by a tribe of female elephants. They back in, closing in so tightly around her that she can’t be seen. They stomp and kick up dirt in order to fiercely protect her. The females surround the mama and incoming baby in protection, sending a clear signal to predators that if they want to attack their friend while she is vulnerable, they’ll have to get through tons of female aggression first. Female elephants only take this formation while under attack by predators, or during the birth of a new elephant.
Since Jen’s announcement of her impending divorce, the women that follow her have closed ranks around her. Hundreds of people have sent messages of love and support to this woman. So I thought, what if that happened to all women? What if, when a woman announced something such as a divorce or difficult life change, we surrounded her with love and support instead of pity and judgement? What if, rather than gossiping about the why of it all, we discuss ways we can assist her? What if, rather than asking questions, we listen….better yet…just sit with each other in the discomfort of it all?
We women all have our own insecurities and worries that often get the better of us. However, instead of playing into the stereotypical drama that so many expect, why not be more supportive of one another? We should be celebrating the success of other women, and helping to carry their load when it becomes too heavy to carry alone. We need to commit to one another that when things get tough, that we will circle up to protect each other. There is enough love, success, and prosperity for all of us.  Every woman needs female friendships. Every woman needs women she can depend on and be vulnerable with. Let’s be women who love, protect and encourage other women keeping our eyes and hearts open for women who need us. Let’s protect and support one another following the example of the badass female elephants.
Peace,
#tutulady
#forwardisapace

Resilience

Kristine Binder

Over the years people have tried to break me down. Tried to break my spirit. Tried to change the woman that I am. And there have been times where I have forgotten who that woman is. I have lost myself in it all.
When I get knocked down, I may crack and break a bit. I may even fall apart. However, what those people don’t realize is that I am resilient. When I do get knocked down, I rarely stay down for long. I pull myself together and begin to repair the broken places. Those cracks and breaks allow light to get in, healing to happen and new growth to take place! It is where and how I grow back even stronger! I rise, and when I rise, I rise like the phoenix from the ashes….stronger and more determined than ever before.
Women are resilient. We are more resilient that we often give ourselves credit for. From a young age we are conditioned by archaic gender roles. We are taught to “stay in our lane”, be “pretty”, “proper,” “polite,” “delicate,” and “selfless” among other things. And we have forgotten who we really are and our intrinsic value.
We women need to be reminded of our resilience and strength. Women can change the world and make a difference at all while wearing a pair of heels(or flats/work boots/sandals/flipflops/shit kickers….) and, while women may occasionally lose their balance, they will never be counted out. We women need to reclaim our power. We need to own our voice and our story. We need to demand our seat at the HEAD of the table.
Women that are too difficult need to keep asking the tough questions and demanding straight answers. Women that are “bossy” need to keep leading the way for others. That assertive woman needs to keep pushing the envelope. That difficult woman needs to keep telling the truth loudly and unapologetically.
Women are powerful when we believe in ourselves and each other. We are unstoppable when we channel our energy towards a positive purpose. Sometimes we need to be reminded of that power. We women do better when we support one another, reminding each other of the resilience and strength we carry within. We need to hold up a mirror to each other and say “The bad ass in me sees and honors the bad ass in you!”
Peace,
#tutulady
#forwardisapace