|Prayers are welcome as well!|
So my daughter got her driver’s license this week. What a milestone not only for her, but for mom and dad. Where did the time go? Wasn’t it just yesterday that I was reading the manual and installing her carseat? I drove my car to three local police stations to check to see if I had done it correctly. Now she is no longer in a car seat but in the driver’s seat.
She has waited patiently for the day and it finally came. Dad took her out of school for the morning and they went together for this momentous occasion. This was a milestone for just the two of them. I got a text from her later in the morning that she had passed. I was so relieved…and terrified! What did this mean for her…and for me?
Her siblings were so excited for her….I think they were a bit excited for themselves as well…newfound freedom! And that freedom was not long in coming! After dinner that same evening, the 3 girls piled into Dad’s car and off they drove on their first adventure together. Windows open (in the cold) and music blaring…. they took off like a racehorse out of the gate….never a hesitation. They were on their way to get shakes…without an adult!
The entire time they were gone my heart was in my throat. Not one of my kids was gone but three of them! What now? The loss of control was so frightening. I felt like I was free falling and not sure where I would land. the moment they walked in the door, my sigh of relief could be heard for miles.
My daughter has grown new wings and longs to test them at every opportunity. She years for the freedom that driving gives her and the control of her destiny at that moment. She relishes the feeling of ‘grown-upness’. The privilege that she alone has above her siblings. I remember that feeling….fondly!
So I ask again, what now? things are different now. My kid is driving around behind the wheel of a large piece of machinery. She is in control…not me. I can’t put her safely into her carseat, buckle the belt and see her smiling back at me in the rearview mirror. Don’t get me wrong, having someone to help with driving kids to and fro will be nice but the trade off….but I worry. I know that she is a good driver. I worry about other drivers. I worry that she won’t react as quickly as I would. I worry that she has her siblings and friends in the car and is responsible for their safety. I worry that she will not pay attention and miss something. I worry ….I worry….I worry…..as now she drives off looking at me in the rearview mirror smiling a proud yet terrified smile. Peace.