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Listen

Kristine Binder

So I feel the need to share a story. Delete if you want. And I can’t post a picture because he asked me not to.
Tony. I went into the pool store to get some help with my disgusting pool. Tony was the first person I encountered. I asked if they do on site maintenance. He said no but some guys do it “on the side”. I hired him on the spot. He just struck he as a genuine young man.
A week later he came to work on my pool. I hung out in the yard puttering in case he needed something (and to be honest I was a little leery as a single woman.) so we started to talk. Turns out he is a young man who got in trouble with the law and had some bad breaks. He “looks” the part too but I have learned from my pal, Molly, not to judge a book….look at the eyes. That is where you see the soul.
So he continued to tell me his story. I listened. Everything he knows about pools, mechanics and chemicals he taught himself. He wants to go back to school but is determined to pay off his legal fees first because he “hates owing money”. As we talked I could tell he is a smart guy. As a teacher I could see the kid he once was. The misfit. The unconventional learner that didn’t “fit the mold” and then just got disinterested…. We talked politics and the legal system and history and chemistry. He worked hard and then thanked me as he left. He said I was one of the few customers that talked to him and listened to him. He is coming back today …. “Just to check on things and make sure all is working correctly…”
I asked what the charge was for this…. He said “nothing…. You were nice.”
Tony will get a little extra today towards paying off those legal fees. And I will listen again.

#ForwardIsAPace
Peace.

Cassie

Kristine Binder
Today I decided I not only needed a run, but a change of scenery. So I headed to the lakefront. I parked and headed towards the path.  About a half a mile in,  I noticed my shoe was untied. There was a bench nearby so I sat down to tie my shoe on one end.  At the other end of the bench was a woman who looked to me to be homeless.  Her head was down and she never looked up. She was picking at the seam of her shirt.  I turned towards her as I tied my shoe and said,  “Good morning! Beautiful day isn’t it!” She looked up at me with such sad eyes and mumbled, “I guess”

I said, “Really?! The sun is shining and it is warm. Do you not like the warm weather?”  
She said, “I love the sun and warm weather. I used to love to take my kids to the playground on days like today.”
She asked me if I lived in the area. And I said in Chicago but not the lake area. And we got to chatting. My run would have to wait a bit. 
Her name is Cassie. Her story is one I have to tell. She’s only a year older than me.  She had a well worn face and spirit looking more like 70 than her 51 years. . A mom of four kids. She got married and had kids at a really young age. Her husband became abusive shortly after they got married and she felt she could not leave. 
She protected her kids and took the brunt of the abuse. Once the kids were old enough, they moved out heading into the military.  Cassie said one night she had enough…got brave…and ran from her home. She never looked back.  She’s afraid to even communicate with her children for fear her husband will find her. She has not seen nor heard from her kids for over 5 years. She left with only what she could carry and has been homeless for the last fours years. She was with friends for a while but got scared so she has tried to ‘disappear.’ 
We talked about life about love. We talked about abusive men. We talked about a mothers love for her children. I finally said, “I really need to get to running or I will never go….” 
“You are kind. This is the best conversation I have had in a long while. Thanks for listening to me….”
My eyes welled with tears as I asked if I could give her a hug her and she said no. 
“You really do not want to hug a homeless person.”
“I’m  not hugging a homeless person. I am hugging another mom.”
We hugged and I headed off for the rest of my run. I cried for a while as I ran. 
All I could think about was women like Cassie. How many Cassie’s are there?  
Mothers. Mothers who give up everything for their children. Mothers who do the best they can and it’s still not good enough. Mothers that lose sleep. Mothers that are tired. Mothers that fight for their kids. Mothers who let their kids go. Mothers who let their kids make mistakes. Mothers who cry tears of joy, anguish and heartache. Mothers who hold on too tight. Mothers who don’t hold on at all. Mothers who let go. Mothers who love until it hurts. All in secret.  
I thought to myself, there by the grace of God go I.
Please pray for Cassie and women like her. 
I am only posting a photo of our bench that I took on my return trip. I want to respect Cassie’s privacy and safety. 
#forwardisapace
Peace.

Seasons

Kristine Binder

There is an appointed time for everything,
and a time for every affair under the heavens.
A time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to uproot the plant.
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to tear down, and a time to build.
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones, and a time to gather them;
a time to embrace, and a time to be far from embraces.
A time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away.
A time to rend, and a time to sew;
a time to be silent, and a time to speak.
A time to love, and a time to hate;
a time of war, and a time of peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:3-8
I laced up my shoes and went for a run today. I had planned to just run 5-6 miles but I was feeling good and kept going. I needed to get my head and heart to start talking to each other again along with resetting my bullshit meter. Sometimes that takes longer than expected. Today it took 10 miles. 10 miles of true grit. There were tears, laughing, screaming, and some walking but I finished those 10 miles. 
I headed back to my “home” …. my trail ….for my run. I have not been on the trail since October. As I ran, I thought about the last year of my life. It has been a long year. A year I thought I would never get through. A year I thought I would not survive at times.  But looking back, I have no idea who that woman of a year is anymore. I feel I do not know her. She was so scared and uncertain. She was so weak and timid. She was so confused and overwhelmed. She was me. 
As I ran, I thought of all the changes in my life; how different I am and how different my life is today from a year ago.  I paid a visit to my girlfriend Wanda (she is a badass bridge) and this time she did not get the best of me. There is something euphoric when I run downhill with the sun on my face and the breeze at my back. I took a jog down ‘complain lane’ (a straightaway where runners complain) and let loose with all my complaints since my last visit.  Then I turned around to run home.
 I looked at my shadow as I ran home and thought I am a shadow of my former self. I started to notice that winter was finally gone and spring was starting to take over the trail. Blooming trees and flowers along with more green then grey.  Seasons are like that. Winter can’t last forever. Some winters are longer, colder and darker that we expect but they eventually come to an end and spring brings rebirth and new life….every year.  We just have to get through the winter. 
This past year has been a long winter that is finally giving way to spring.
Over that 10 miles I found my legs again. I got my heart and my head to start talking to each other. I reset my bullshit meter. I realized that I am stronger and smarter than I ever was…..I am blooming like the trail in spring. 
#forwardisapace Peace

Because of GOTR #ICAN

Kristine Binder

Eight years ago I brought Girls on the Run to my school. We started small. My youngest daughter was in 3rd grade and on my first team. She and I have both grown with the program. She has not missed one race day with me since that first season. 16 seasons later, here we are. Both of us have evolved as has the persona of #tutulady
This season my team was asked to create a video about what Girls on the Run means using phase “Because of GOTR #ICAN”
I love all these girls and feel privileged to have been a part of their lives for even a season.
Here is my heart and soul on film.
#forwardisapace
Peace.

Shuffle

Kristine Binder
2013/2016
How many changes can you see?!
#tutulady #supertall

Each year I run the Shamrock Shuffle. For me it is the unofficial start of my running/training/racing season. For the last few years I have run the race with my BRF (best running friend). We always start together but don’t often finish together.  We get to a certain point and then run our own race….faster/slower/whatever.
This year we started together and leapfrogged each other until close to the end when she took off.
I had only one goal this year….to run up Mount Roosevelt  nonstop, no walking until I rounded the corner. Not only did I run up the hill nonstop, but I kept running until I crossed the finish line!
My BRF and I finished within a few minutes of each other.  I felt so good when I was done….better than I have in a long while and I was so proud of what I had accomplished. It was not a PR by any means but I set a goal and crushed it.
We found each other, got a beer and took some pictures then went to eat!
It was not until a few days later when my BRF sent me 2 photos side by side that I realized how far we had come in 3 years. 3 years…..yes….it has been a long journey and one that is not over by any means but the difference I see in the 47 year old me and the 50 year old me …the 3 year difference is astounding.
The difference in the both of us is amazing. Both of us have been on a journey and the changes we have encouraged each other to make have not only affected our running but who we are as women. 3 years of pushing each other and cheering for each other. 3 years of tears and triumphs.  3 years of laughter and love.
Women….we need to inspire each other to be better  challenging one another to reach new goals. We need to mentor each other, reaching back and giving back to the next generation of women.  We need to respect each other’s journey while inspiring others to do the same.
None of us should ever be alone on this journey. Sometimes we will shuffle with each other. Sometimes we will walk with each other. Sometimes we will run with each other.  But sometimes….every once in a while…we will soar with each other.
#forwardisapace
Peace.