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This weekend my worlds all collided. The results were sometimes beautiful and other times disastrous.

After a carefree few days spending time with great old friends in the Northwoods,  we arrived home Saturday afternoon to the first collision. Our fridge and a power outage collided leaving the fridge with no power and full of rotting food. Time for a clean up and throw out of everything. YUCK! Out trusty old window unit air conditioner also collided with the power outage leaving the AC unit clinging to life via life support. It was time to put it out of its misery and I cried.

After a period of mourning,  I prepped things for my race the following morning. I laid out my clothes and Body Glide then continued to hydrate. It took Sleep a long time to enter into my zip code but soon my body and sleep collided. Sleep was fitful as I was afraid I would not wake up in time to run. The alarm sounded minutes after I finally fell asleep…or so it seemed. With 3 hours of sleep under my belt I got up and began my race day rituals. 


Once all the girls arrived, we buckled up Flat Sarah and we were off in the TMI truck to collide with the Rock and Roll Half Marathon. The ride was filled with laughing and joking around as per the usual. I love that we all ride together and release a little pre race stress with laughter and inappropriate conversation. 

We collided with our friends from running group outside the Congress hotel where we used the facilities and said a quick prayer. Soon my Moms running group friends appeared and introductions were made. It always seems to amaze me that runners are so accepting and generous. Runners all get along….no matter your background, if you show up at a race you can find a friend….new or old.

The giant group of us all walked to our start corral together. We chatted and laughed and new friendships were born. We all started the race together but were soon separated by our differences in pace. About mile 3 I could not hold it any more and really had to pee…I collided (really ran into it!) with a Lepre-Can (port a potty) thus I lost my little group. I had told them I would catch up but they sped up after I dropped off and continued at a faster pace. I jumped back on the course and, knowing full well that this stop as well as the heat had slowed me down, gave up any notion of finishing with a PR.

With this in mind I was determined to have fun with this race and make the most of the experience. Time was only a number on a clock and did not matter to me. So, I continued on. I collided with each water stop slowing to a walk and thanking each volunteer I passed. Theirs is not a glamorous job but they do it with a smile and an encouraging word. I collided with each and every band slowing down (not like I was going very fast!!) and stopping to dance. People laughed and cheered and smiled. I read each sign gaining energy from the crowd and soaking up the screams of “Go tutu lady!” like a sponge. When I collided with a hill I just kept repeating “hills make you stronger” as I ran up each and every one.

I collided with an old running friend who told me he had been inspired to lead a group of high school students through training for this race. He was running with a few and I was so honored and proud to join them for a mile. Soon they left me in the dust but I was doing ok and still having fun.

I was so glad to have my running friend, Flat Sarah, with me for these 13.1 miles. I talked to her, danced with her, laughed with her for the whole distance. She was a constant source of inspiration and encouragement as I could hear her voice in my head…”don’t give up!” “You got this” “Run, Bitch, Run”.
See, last week Real Sarah and I ran together. It was not an easy run for me and she kept me moving. I thanked her at the end of that run and she told me she was just paying me back for all the difficult runs I had gotten her through. Well, she did it again….I was almost to the finish.

So together Flat Sarah and I crossed the finish line …tutu and all! I was treated to a cold, wet towel, a smoothie, chocolate milk and water. YUMMY!  Sweet Rewards!

I found my friends and we all collided with one another back at the hotel where our adventure had begun. We shared stories of funny signs and funny people along the course. We shared adventure tales of our race experiences…and what an adventure in the heat it was for all of us! We shared sweat with the sidewalk!

Soon we parted ways and one group returned to the hotel as the other group returned to the TMI truck and headed for home…and a shower!

Later in the evening I was lucky enough to collide with 2 of my dear running pals that live out of town. We collided with enough food to feed an army…and the carnage left was not pretty!  It was so good to spend time with these ladies. They are such a big part of my life and I am blessed that our paths collided long ago…and even more blessed to call them friends.

Monday I picked up one of these ladies and we went to lunch…yup…more food!  I have spent the last week not falling off the weight loss train but taking a running leap and flying off as far as I could go!  Time to collide with that train again!

We went down to Taylor Street for pizza strudel and spent much needed time together, chatting about life and catching up. Back into the car and off to the airport we went. It was a sad to watch the last of my friends depart for home. We did not SAY goodbye though…we said see you soon…as in October. We will be together again for the Marathon in October…when worlds will collide again.  Peace.

Just wait til it cools off! Then people are gonna eat my dust!

Today I ran 6 of the suckiest, hottest, sweatiest miles of the summer and perhaps of my running life. I went out thinking it was the right day to long a longer run as it was going to be the coolest day of the week. I got dressed and ready while I waited for the storms to pass. As soon as the rain let up I headed out. I was sure to take water with me even though it was cool.

It was hard to find my ‘happy pace’. I struggled with each step and after mile one was ready to turn back. I walked for a bit and decided to try another mile. I picked up my feet and started to run again but each step felt like I was getting stuck in quicksand. It was difficult to keep moving forward but I live by the motto Forward is a Pace…so as long as I was moving forward it was all good.  But it was not good. I suffered through the 2nd mile and then slowed to glacial pace. I walked for a bit again and decided to try another mile. Each step was painful. My legs rebelled worse than a temper tantrum throwing toddler.  My muscles ached. I kept telling myself I was just sore after the Half and things would get better…my legs would loosen up. I could calm that toddler with a little slower pace and sweet talk. Mile 3 and 4 were brutal. i was hot and miserable. I was tired of crappy runs and the heat. I was angry at the weather and humidity.  Sweat poured from places I didn’t know I could sweat. I decided to turn back and head for home. I walked for a bit and then I started to cry. Mile 5 was all about water…tears, sweat, thirst… I started to cry because it was such a bad run and I was so frustrated with my body and myself. Then the tears really began to flow as I felt stupid for feeling sorry for myself. I was out here and had just run over 5 miles. There are people who struggle to walk 5 miles. There are people who can’t walk. There are people who would trade places  with me and my sucky run in a heartbeat. The tears of pity turned to tears of anger. How could I be so silly and selfish? I was so angry at myself for allowing me to travel down self pity street that I did not realize that I was almost home. I had run the 6 miles. I finished. I did not quit.

I always ask runners what they learned from a run…good or bad. What was the lesson in the run today? So when I got home I started to ask myself that question. What was the lesson in the run today?

Today’s lesson was about mind over matter and perseverance. Today’s lesson was about the heat. Today was about learning how my body rebels against the heat and how I deal with that rebellion. I do not give in. I am not a quitter. I AM a rock star. I am a cheetah in waiting…waiting for the weather to cool off so I can unleash my anger and reap the benefits of every sucky, crappy, difficult mile run in this heat. I am not getting slower. I am getting stronger and tougher…mentally and physically. I am not slow. I am not a turtle. I am a cheetah in waiting….
Peace.

I am never really alone. I can go places and be by myself but I am rarely alone. There are always people around.

Today I went for a run alone. Really and truly alone.

I got up and dressed early and prepared for another warm morning run. As I walked outside our cabin I was struck by a strange feeling. I was cold! Really cold. I shivered and thought I had better get moving to warm up. I took off out of the camp and headed out to the main road. I wanted to run about 3 miles. Just enough to stretch out and feel like I did something!

I was wearing my headphone…yes, just one. I always only wear one so that I can hear things around me as I run. But as I continued on, I took even the one earbud out and listened to the sounds of the world around me.

As I ran, I realized that I was alone. All alone. Even when I run alone at home I am never alone…there are people passing and I run in pretty residential areas. Today I was alone. Just me and my thoughts. My only companions were the 2 deer that crossed the street and the eagle overhead. Yes, a bald eagle. Up here in the Northwoods there are eagles. I counted the cars that passed me…4 … and one truck. The truck was a logging truck and I was glad not to have my headphones on as I could hear it coming. I stepped off the shoulder as it passed and could smell the intoxicating strong scent of Christmas. A logging truck full of pine had just flown past me.

I looked at my GPS and realized that it was time to turn back. I wanted to go further but my sense of security told me that I should stay close. So I headed back to camp with the sound of the rustling of the breeze in the trees and my breathing keeping me on pace.

As I reached our cabin I was greeted with people again…the camp was beginning to wake up and I could smell coffee and bacon. The time alone this morning coupled with the cooler temps were good for my run as I was faster than I have been in a long time. This run was about nothing but a run. 5 miles of time alone to think, reflect and just be. I may not have found any people on my run but I did find something…my running mojo. Peace.

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Sometimes a simple spark can ignite a huge fire.  That is what happened last night. With one question, “Hey mom. What cha readin’?” my son sparked a blaze.

He came into my room and asked what I was reading. I told him the title and he asked what it was about. I am reading Becoming Odssya. It is the story of a young woman’s quest to hike the entire Appalachian Trail alone…or pretty much alone.

So with that one question, my son and I dove into the the black hole that is the internet and looked for information on the Trail. We learned the entire distance, the states it crosses, the time it takes hikers to complete the distance, etc. We watched videos of hikers and the trail as well. We learned about lean-tos, tents and hazards of the trail.

My son knows his cousins are avid hikers, climbers and one even writes for an outdoor publication. But it just seemed to all click last night in his 9 year old brain. I saw the light in his eyes as each question and subsequent answer lead to more questions and additional answers. We talked about what we would do and how we would attack the trail, what we would take for food, and all kinds of other details.

He made me promise that one day he and I could at least hike part of the trail. I may never be a thru-hiker but I will hike part of the trail with him. I know that one day before I leave this planet, I will keep that promise to my son.  I can see it in his eyes….it is not something he will let me forget. Sometimes a simple question is the spark that ignites a blaze.  Peace.

To learn more about the author of the book:
Her blog on Tumblr
Her company

To read an excerpt or purchase the book

This last few days I have had a few minutes (during my runs) to reflect on time. Last week we were away for a stay at my parents home and being away from the day to day tasks was good for me. I stepped back and allowed myself to be in the moment. I got to watch my son skip rocks (and he is pretty good at it!), teach him to swim a bit better and watch him make friends…something he does effortlessly.

I got to observe 12 and 13 really play and laugh…something they don’t often have the time nor freedom to do….time for the really good belly laughs that are music to a mom’s ears.

I watched 16 and her BFF relax and just be with one another for endless conversations about everything under the sun.

Coming home I tired to hold on to a little of that ‘in the moment’ mentality. It often gets lost in the clutter of home and I need reminders to dig it back out again. So yesterday my son and I went to the trail for a run/ride.  It is something he and I like to do together and have not done in a while. He rode his bike while I ran behind carrying the water. We got to a point on the trail where there in a strong dip into a ravine…a good down and up hill climb. What a blast for a kid on a bike but a real workout for Momma. Hill repeats are not my thing (read: I HATE them!!) but I went up and down 3 times before quitting and watching him glide on the downhill and struggle with the up a few more times. It was nice to just watch him be a kid, working the uphill  …. laughing as he flew down without a care in the world. I thought of how much that was a metaphor for life. We struggle with the uphills of life and glide through the downhills….we forget that the downhills are fun and we should enjoy them before arriving at the next uphill.

We finished our 5 miles and headed home. Our time together was over and it was time to get on with the tasks of the day. Back to the schedule for both of us. This is one of the many reasons I love summer.  Summer allows me to be ‘in the moment’.  Summer gives me back my kids. Summer gives me back what I lose during the school year…time. Peace.