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Decisions come in all shapes and sizes. As simple as coffee or tea to complicated decisions about a job, marriage, or a child. Some decisions are effortless and do not require second guessing. Some decisions cause us to lose sleep and become regretful.

Why cant we trust ourselves and our choices? Why can’t we make a decision and live with it without remorse or regret? Why is every decision fought with anguish? I know many people who can make choices and never look back. no regret. No remorse. Just moving forward comfortable with the decision they have made.

I wish I could be that person. I wish I didn’t look back. I wish I could just move forward. These things take time. I wonder for days and weeks (sometimes years) if I have done the right thing. I wonder how things would have been different had a made different choices. It is difficult for me to trust myself. I constantly second guess myself as I worry about pleasing everyone. I make decisions for others all day every day. Why is it so difficult for me to do this for myself? Peace.

Just when you think you know your kids, they do something that surprises you. This morning I got a text from 16 asking if she could cut her hair off from Locks of Love. This meant that 8 inches of hair would leave her head. Her hair is her pride and joy. I thought she was kidding. She was not.

Later in the day I got another text …”it’s done. I have no hair”. I thought she had really cut off all of her hair. when I shared this with her siblings their reaction was amazing as well. They were beaming with pride that their sister had done something so bold.

Her father was not so thrilled …. In fact he was very upset. I know he is “old school” about his girls and their hair but this was not about “just another hair cut”. This was about my daughter doing something bigger than herself…something selfless. Mom understood and would deal with Dad…..

I arrived at school to pick her up And her hair was not as short as I thought. We headed to the salon for a professional to fix it all and make it look nice. A small price to pay.

A dear friend called this a ‘mitzvah’. From what I understand this means that 16 is morally and ethically accountable ….mature.

At the least expected time my kids surprise me in many wonderful ways making me so very proud to be their mom. I am so blessed….and proud. Peace.

Holidays, birthdays, celebrations. Just days on a calendar. People get so hung up on a square on the calendar ….why is that? For me every day is a holiday. I know that sounds Pollyanna of me but it is true. I celebrate things like waking up with healthy children and a husband who has arrived home from work safely everyday.

I know folks that can’t celebrate a birthday or holiday unless it is the correct date. Not one second early or late. It seems a bit shortsighted to me. What if something bad happens, god forbid? What if someone gets hurt or sick? When do we celebrate? I can celebrate a birthday any day and a holiday whenever the mood strikes.

Mothers day was what got me to thinking about this. Really why do we need a special day set aside for gift giving and expensive meals at restaurants?

I mean I understand but for many moms I know (myself included) Mother’s Day is every day. We celebrate the small victories of motherhood. An empty laundry bin(knowing that there must be more hiding under beds). We celebrate a smile from a teenager(as elusive as a sighting of the Yeti) We celebrate dry pants and sheets (which means a kid made it through the night without peeing the bed). We celebrate sleep (rejoicing over stringing 6 hours uninterrupted hours of shut eye). We celebrate quiet (which means the kids are not fighting and are up to no good or sleeping).

The cards and flowers are great, as are the World’s Greatest Mom mugs and handmade achool projects. But what we really want is a day with a battle. A day without a tantrum. A day where chore get done in a timely manner without an attitude nor nagging from mom. A day where every one is happy with the meals served. A day where everyone gets along.

As moms, we have learned to celebrate the small stuff, the big stuff and all the stuff in between each and every day. For moms every day is truly Mother’s Day. peace.

“I run because long after my footprints fade away, maybe I will have inspired a few to reject the easy path, hit the trails, put one foot in front of the other, and come to the same conclusion I did: I run because it always takes me where I want to go.”
― Dean Karnazes

 Forward is a Pace! Peace.

I hate to iron. Really hate it. I don’t hate many things but I hate to iron. I not only hate it but I am not good at it either.  I buy things they do not need ironing.

When I do iron, it is a special occasion. When my kids see me take out the ironing board, they ask, “what’s the special occasion, Mom?” Not only is it a special occasion the ironing is usually is for a special occasion. When I do iron it is so stressful for me. However in that stress I find peace. The things I do iron are special to my family. I iron tablecloths for family dinners. I iron baptism dresses. I iron communion dresses. I iron the important things.

Tonight I ironed a graduation dress. 14 will wear it tomorrow for the first time for May Crowning. She will get dressed, put on her heels, pin on her class ribbons and process into church. In a few weeks I will iron the dress again. She will again put on the dress and process into church. This time wearing her cap along with the gown and collecting her diploma.

As I ironed her gown and pressed out the creases, I thought about the creases of her life. The distance she has traveled and the obstacles she has overcome. The bumps in her life that she has smoothed out. She is a sensitive soul with a heart of gold. She has become a beautiful, wonderful young woman. I thought as I ironed that there were some creases I just could not press. Creases that would not lay flat. I know her life will be that way. There will be creases that will be more difficult to press. She will need to find a way. I will help. I will help iron out the important things. She will iron out the every day issues. Soon she will be able to do all her own ironing. I will be here in case she needs help but she will want and need to do things herself.

Perhaps that is why I dislike ironing so much….the fact that the things I iron for those I love will be outgrown or go out of style…..like me.
peace.