Healing

About yesterday….
Those that know me know that delegation is NOT my strong suit!  I like to just do it all myself…. but yesterday I stepped outside my comfort zone and delegated. What a liberating experience!  My other Mama Bears stepped up in grand style showing up with a tent, table, snacks, water and HUGS!  
This is our second year participating in this event and it was a joy once again! I saw people wearing all sorts of shirts and some of my favorites were,   “I love my gay child,” “Proud Mom” “Proud Dad” and “Will Trade Racists for Refugees” !
And I hugged….one armed!  Boy did I hug! 
And I listened. 
I listened as one of my favorite Queens read a beautiful story to children titled, “Families, Families, Families” while children interacted with the story in the sweetest way, sharing what their families look like.  I listened as a woman told me how she recently moved her family from California to Evanston in order to continue safe healthcare and an affirming community for her children. I listened to a  woman share that she was learning to ask how to use correct pronouns. I listened to a mom share how she was learning to love the adult child in front of her and grieve her own losses. I listened to a man who had gotten engaged in the past year and was planning the wedding of his dreams all while preparing for the longevity of marriage by going to couples therapy with his partner. I listened to a young woman tell me that she attends family events alone as her partner is not welcome and her family does not acknowledge her partner. I listened to a man tell me that his own father got a hug from a Free Dad Hugger last year and it seemed to open his heart a bit to his son. 
And I learned….I learned from one of my Mamas that the word of the day was “Bashert.” Bashert is a Yiddish word that means ‘destined’ or ‘meant to be.’  I felt that deep in my bones yesterday with each and every interaction. 
And it did not stop once we cleaned up to go home. I stopped at the store on my way home, yes….in my tutu and FMH shirt! I was stopped by 2 older (80’s) ladies in the parking lot….At first I was a bit apprehensive after my recent encounter at a local fast food establishment, but I stopped to talk to them. They told me they loved my outfit and thanked me for giving hugs. They were  both banished (their word, not mine) from their families when the families found out they were in love and more than just friends. They have been together over 50 years and created their own family of people that love and accepte them. I hugged them both together for a long time….and they were so gentle and caring. I did not let go until they did and when we stepped apart….all of us were crying…in the parking lot of the grocery store!  What a sight! I watched as they walked away with their arms around each other and thought how lucky they were to have found such love in one another. 
Another moment of beshert…..and another reminder of why hugs (and tutus) are so important. 
Love….and hugs….heal. 
Peace
#tutulady
#forwardisapace

Love

Self-love.
What would you do if someone else treated you the way you treat yourself? How would you react if someone criticized you the way you criticize yourself? How would it be if someone forced you into the same self-defeating behavior that you choose to do on your own? What if someone else prevented you from enjoying life as much as you deny enjoyment to yourself? You would, no doubt, be outraged. If you would never let someone else treat you that way, why do you allow yourself to do so? You have control over your own actions, your own thoughts, your own feelings. Stop defeating yourself. Allow yourself to live, permit yourself to succeed, let yourself enjoy life. Be good to yourself. You deserve it.
Peace
#tutulady
#forwardisapace

Hugs

Saturday I went to Pridefest.
I got in line to get in and the girl in front of me looked and said, “Are you here by yourself?”
“Yes why?”
“Wow! I would never do that. You are so brave! Are you gay?”
“No”
“Oh wow……” she looks at my shirt and then my hat….“Would it be ok to ask for a hug?”
“Sure….. “ and we share a long tight hug.
“My mom hasn’t talked to me in years…. Since I came out”
“When was that?”
“When I was 18….. I’m 24 now. I’ve been on my own since I was 18.”
“That must be hard…” I say and the line begins to move.
“Yea….. but it’s better. I like living my life as me and not as someone else.”
“Well then. You are the brave one.”
We continue to chat as we make our way in. She says “happy pride” and skips off as we enter.
After that I was stopped so many times.
“Can I have a hug?”
Some people just walked up to me with open arms. I heard older men tell me that they had been disowned years ago, that their moms had died without acknowledging them, that kids had left home rather than hide in the closet….
As I was watching a performer, I looked over and noticed a Woods ring! The girl had just graduated! We hugged and then I decided it was time to go.
As I was waiting for a light to change, a couple walked over.
“Can my girlfriend have a mom hug?”
“Sure!!!”
As we hugged the girl that asked said “she misses her mom but her mom says she is dead to her…”
I held on until the other girl pulled away. Her face was wet with tears……
”I miss my mom so much. Thank you for giving me a piece of her for a minute.”
We three hugged together and cried a minute.
“You are loved and you matter.” And we parted ways.
I walked 2 miles back to my car and enjoyed every minute of that walk.
Never underestimate the power of a hug.
Peace.
#tutulady
#forwardisapace

Wins

Today I am grateful that:
Science is real
Black Lives Matter
Women’s rights are human rights
No humans are illegal
Diversity makes us stronger
Love is Love
Today I am grateful love, kindness, inclusion and fairness won.
Today I am grateful for the first woman of color to be elected vice president.
Today I am grateful for the team of Biden/Harris.
Peace
#tutulady
#forwardisapace

Ordained

I am now an ordained minister! I followed the lead of my friend and founder of Free Mom Hugs, Sara Cunningham by becoming ordained!
With restrictions from Covid starting to lift, people are beginning to plan small gatherings for weddings. It is often difficult to find a minister to officiate, especially if you are part of the LQBTQIA+ community.
I love LOVE! I am a strong, vocal advocate for love. Becoming ordained really allows me to support and honor acceptance and love between all people.
I do not have a religious focus (unless that is your choice)…just your love story!
If you are in need of a minister for your wedding, please contact me! I would love to officiate your ceremony and celebrate your love.