2s-day

Today is 2-22-22.
It is such a magical number and an even more magical day!
It falls on a Tuesday!
It is a palindrome date (same backwards and forwards).
And I am the #tutulady!
The number 2 is an angel number (Angel numbers are recurring sequences of numbers that have spiritual significance, according to numerology). The number 2 represents balance in nature as all life is about balance. The number 2 also represents opposites such as left and right and up and down. When we are balanced, we are in harmony with life. Seeing the number 2 repeating is a gentle reminder that I need to work on balancing some aspects of my life. I mean wearing a tutu and running/dancing is all about balance!
The number 2 is the most feminine of all the numbers, and its vibration resonates with the vibration of joy, balance and peace. It relates to the desire for love, health, harmony and happiness within all relationships. People who see this number regularly are authentic, artistic, creative, tolerant, emotional, highly sensitive, loyal, devoted and intuitive.
2-2 is my angel number. I see the number 2 a great deal. I need things in pairs or even numbers in my home and in my life because I crave balance. Anyone who knows me knows I surrounds myself with the word peace and symbols of peace! And joy? Have you met me? I live my life from a place of constant joy!!!
This special 2-22-22 Tuesday is one that will not appear again for a long time, thus we need to make the most of it! As it is a day of balance, peace, and joy, let’s make the most of it!
Make a list of 22 things that bring you joy! The items on the list can be grand or minuscule….just put them on the list! They will be powerful reminders to look for joy today and every day.
Then make a second list of 22 people that bring you joy. Take a moment today to reach out to each one of those people with an email/call/text and thank them for bringing you joy!
Let’s celebrate the number 2-22-22 today by sharing peace and JOY!
Peace
#tutulady
#forwardisapace

Grace

Grace. Giving grace to others is about showing kindness even when it is not always deserved.  To me, grace is going out of my way to show compassion, kindness and love to someone even if they might not appreciate it, or return the favor. It is choosing to do the right thing even when someone may have hurt me in the past or might even hate the sight of me. Giving grace to others means I take the high road.
That high road is long, lonely and exhausting. Doing the right thing, giving grace, is not always my first instinct nor is it always easy. It is often difficult and painful. But in the end, I know that it is the right thing to do.
These past few years I have done what I thought was the right thing over and over again. I have witnessed my children in deep pain in many different ways. I have soaked it all up like a sponge. I have slapped on a smile and kept my mouth closed all while absorbing their pain. They each lash out and emote in different ways. I see and feel their pain like only a mom can. My momma heart knows that I am the ‘safe’ one. They know that my love is stable and unwavering, that I am not going anywhere. So they emotionally vomit all over me and I just clean it all up. I continually offer them grace.
I want things to be easier for my children. I want to take away all the pain and make things easier for them. I want to feel all the hard feelings for them so them don’t have to experience any of it. But I can’t. I know that ‘you have to feel it to heal it.’ So I offer them grace.
The same it true for my friends. I see and feel their pain too. I absorb it all. I am an emotional sponge. And I offer everyone grace.
I am terrified to let any one down, scared to disappoint anyone. It seems that no matter what I do, not matter how hard I try, it is never really enough. Doing the right thing, taking the high road, supporting everyone, is exhausting and I am so very tired. I keep trying to balance all the spinning plates, but can’t stop some from stopping, falling, breaking. There is little to no grace left.
After it is all said and done, at the end of each day, I become so overwhelmed with trying to fix things and protect people that I lose myself in the process. I struggle to find myself in it all and find my center. I struggle to find a piece of that grace I so willingly and generously offer to others.
So what then? Well, I grab the little scrap of grace that is left and hold on for dear life. I cling to what remains like a drowning person. A person drowning in an ocean of tears and feelings. A person who is struggling to stay afloat. I remain in that space, floating, until I can regain my composure, find my footing and begin again.
Give yourself some grace before there is none left for you. Allow yourself to float for a minute…or more. Because when you offer yourself grace, it is so much easier to offer it to others.
Peace.
#tutulady
#forwardisapace

Cheetah

Turns out ….
I used to think I was crazy. Why? I was made to believe I was crazy. I was told over and over that I was crazy. I was gaslit until I did not know up from down and forward from backward. 
Turns out….
I used to be an angry, broken woman. Why? I was told over and over that I  was angry for no reason and I was broken beyond repair. 
Turns out….
Life is difficult and glorious and more exciting than I ever realized. Why? I forgot who I was and that I can do hard things like step out of my comfort zone to use the word no. 
Turns out….
I know more than I ever thought possible once I trust my own knowing. 
Turns out…..
I hold the power to create the beautiful, untamed life I want for others and myself. 
Turns out….
I am not crazy or angry or broken. 
Turns out….
I am a GODDAMN CHEETAH. 

56

This is 56.
This is what ….
-negative self talk
-not loving myself
-fighting
-never feeling good enough
-never fitting in
– surviving and thriving
-lessons learned
-embracing my uniqueness
-inspiring others
-loss and gain
-tears and laughter
-building businesses
-stepping into my own power
-loving my body.
-Saying F**k Yes more often.
-love, light and a little go screw yourself
-feeling joy-having faith
-finding peace
……looks like.
This is what life looks like at 56 and let me tell you….. it is AMAZING!
Time to kick up my heels and celebrate!

10

The ten year challenge has been super popular on social media lately. I am not normally one to jump on one of these challenges, but this time? For sure.
I took time to reflect on all the has changed over the past 10 years…..and there is a LOT! Here’s a list in not specific order:
– 4 kids graduated from high school.
– I got divorced (that alone took YEARS to accomplish and years off my life!)
– represented myself Pro Se in court several times
– I moved 2 different times, downsizing each time!
– bought and sold 3 cars of my own (one of my proudest moments was negotiating these deals on my own)
– wrote and published a book
– started, and currently run, 3 different businesses
– ran 9 marathons and countless other races from 5K’s to half marathons
– said goodbye to 2 dogs and hello to another
– survived a pandemic (and am still playing Frogger with the virus!)
– got my CCL (and have since requalified and renewed it!)
– got certified as a coach in several different areas
– created a support system of women who have surrounded me with love, guided me with wisdom and blessed me with friendship
– gained financial control and independence
– created a peaceful home and space where people enjoy spending time
– developed deeper, more authentic relationships with all 5 of my children
– found my own center of gravity, my heart and my soul

There are so many other things to add to the list but these are the biggest changes of which I am most proud. So much can happen in the span of a single year and even more in the span of ten years. When I look at the calendar, a decade does not seem long. But when I look at myself, I realize how long it has been and how far I have come. I cannot change the events which occurred in the last 10 years of my life but I can look back at all the lessons learned that have made me the woman I am today. If someone would have told that overwhelmed, trapped, woman who had lost herself that the next 10 years would lead to the biggest and most dramatic transformation of her life…..she would never have believed it.
I lost a great deal over the past 10 years but one thing that never got lost was my hope and my faith. My hope and faith in a higher power, as well as faith that there was a plan for my life have guided my every step so for in my life. I may not always understand that plan nor like it at times, but I trust and believe that the universe has my back.
The next 10 years have 120 months and over 3650 days. I intend to make every single one count.
Peace
#tutulady
#forwardisapace