Day 3 of 30 Election day. Many people have already voted. But today is the final day to cast a ballot for this election. Many of us differ on our politics, however today is the day to put up or shut up. People have put on a uniform, fought and died so that we all have the right to cast a ballot for the candidate we feel is best for the job. I never take that responsibility lightly! I never take that right for granted. I exercised my freedom to cast a ballot for our future. I cast a ballot for love. Peace #tutulady #forwardisapace
Day 2 of 30 The departed. I am grateful for those who have gone before me…clearing a path, teaching me lessons to last a lifetime and saving space for me in the afterlife. Remember all those who have passed away as it is All Souls’ day today. Peace #tutulady #forwardisapace
Day 1 of 30 Food, family, full table Food is my love language and feeding my kids (an their friends) is how I show them my heart. Sunday dinners have returned to my home. Dinner is never fancy, we don’t have fine China or cloth napkins but what we do have is love…. and for that I am so grateful. Peace #tutulady #forwardisapace
Advice. We give it and we get a LOT of it…especially when it comes to parenting. Moms get so much advice from the moment they disclose they are in the process of becoming a parent. No matter how a women chooses to become a mother, there is plenty of advice(and criticism) to be given. As children grow, so does the amount or advice…and criticism. Over 5 years ago, I chose to leave a toxic, abusive marriage. It was a horrible process during which I lost my way many times and almost lost my kids. I was grasping at straws, fighting tooth and nail to hold on to my sanity as well as my kids. In the midst of it all, I received one of the wisest pieces of advice, one I will live by for the rest of my life, from the most unlikely source….the court appointed child representative for my kids, Beth McCormack. “Just be their mom……” she said and continued, “They know you love them but they are hurting too…..just be their mom and keep loving them…..” She repeated, “Just be their mom…” many times through the course of my very messy divorce. At first it frustrated me when she would say it because I was so angry and confused. I thought I was being their mom. I thought I was loving them. And I was….but I could not see it. I wanted her to tell me exactly what to do…..and she was. But I did not realize it. “Just be their mom……” I may not have always been the best mom, the mom my kids wanted or the mom my kids needed but I have, and will always, love them. What I needed was help to refocus and trust myself. “Just be their mom……” As moms we really do know our children best. I have often spoken to women over the years about trusting the “mom gut.” Trusting that intuition takes strength and support. Moms are often overwhelmed and afraid. We worry about the criticism and judgment of others when what we need to focus on is our children. “Just be their mom……” When we mother, and not smother, we love our kids. When we mother, creating reasonable boundaries, we love our kids. When we mother, setting individual expectations, we love our kids. When we mother, creating opportunities for failures, consequences, successes and celebrations, we love our kids. When we mother, accepting each as a unique human, we love our kids. When we mother, trusting our own intuition and gut, we love our kids. “Just be their mom……” Now, more than ever, women need each other. We are all struggling in one way or another. Women, in general, have the weight of the world on their shoulders. Moms are making choices that are right their family and already doubt themselves enough. We need to lift each other up, help and support one another rather than criticize each other for the difficult choices we are having to make. So when another mom asks you what to do, respond with the best advice ever…… “Just be their mom……” Peace, #tutulady #forwardisapace
After school today, I headed out for my run. It was overcast and I was hoping to beat the rain. About a half mile from home, it started to sprinkle a bit. I turned to head home and stepped right into a puddle! While I was busy cursing my stupidity, I felt my other foot get wet….yup stepped in another puddle. The curse words were flowing ….I can string them together better than any sailor! Then I just started to laugh…..I could not get any more wet (ok, I could and did) but at this point, it was not really raining hard…just an annoying cold, raw drizzle so I started to walk. I pulled out my phone and changed my playlist. I switched from my running playlist to a playlist of classical female composers (listen here) and started walking. I needed to slow it down. As I walked, I started to look around. I realized that the streets were empty and quiet. The rain had chased everyone indoors. I could smell fireplaces burning, dinners cooking, wet leaves and the rain. I could hear the raindrops hitting my jacket. I watched my happy, muddy, wet dog proudly carry his ball. I live for a run on a cool, crisp, sunny fall day. It is one of my favorite things in the world. But running (or walking) in the rain on a cold raw fall day has its own endearing qualities. The colors of the fall trees against grey skies seem to be so much more rich and vibrant. The freedom of not having to avoid other people. The peace of being alone with your thoughts. I love it all! As I walked, I thought about how a simple shift in mindset can change so much. I started off wet and cold and wanted to head home. But I ‘turned that frown upside down.’ Not in a “Pollyanna” way but in a real world “It can’t get anymore wet” way. I chose to make the best of the situation. Take the opportunity to change your perspective. See the upside. Find the silver lining. Life is not always good but there is good in every day. Peace. #tutulady #forwardisapace
Kristine Binder 