Broken

On January 18 I turned 55. 
What did I get for my birthday?
I got…
An off leash dog
A missed curb
A wipeout
A drive to the ER
1/2 a narco(my choice)
A hematoma block
A closed reduction
A splint 
An appointment with an orthopedic doctor 
An appointment for a minor surgery 
A covid test
An ekg
A full blood panel
Anesthesia 
K wires
Another splint 
More narco(which I chose not to take)
Gummies
The first dose of a Moderna Covid vaccine 
Another appointment with an orthopedic doctor 
A cast
And I’m not done yet….
I’ve had more medical care in the past few weeks than I have had in years. Do I like it? No. Am I grateful? Yes. 
Medical care and taking care of of myself was not seen as a priority during my marriage. Taking care of of my physical and mental health was seen as a selfish and weak expense that we could not afford. When I did visit the doctor, the bill was never paid and I could not go back so I stopped going all together. It was not worth the embarrassment. 
But now? Now I’m learning to take care of myself. Im learning that taking care of myself is worth every penny. I’m not self indulgent but I go to the doctor when I need it. I go to regular therapy appointments. I take care of this vessel that holds my heart. 
I’m learning… sometimes the hard way… to take care of myself. And it is so worth it. 
Peace
#tutulady
#forwardisapace

1 thought on “Broken”

  1. Wow! You do things BIG! I’m sorry that you had to go thru all of that. Just remember that you can compare these past days to others and will better acknowledge the happier uneventful times as good times. Did you damage any nerves or is this an arm that you use more that the other?
    It can always be worse. Also, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
    Thanks for the update.
    Renée

    Like

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