Author: Kristine Binder

Love

Kristine Binder

I posted this photo and story last week but now it seems more important than ever.
*
This man was in front of me at the grocery store. I complimented his jacket and he told me he made it. I asked him if I could take a photo of it to share and he agreed. 
We stood, holding up the line, chatting for a bit. The front of the jacket had more words as well but the back is what tugged at my heart. 
The people behind us were getting a bit frustrated, so I turned and said, “Thank you for your patience. I appreciate the time to speak with someone about his art.”
They nodded…… and it was like a pressure valve was released. I think they expected me to get mean. 
I turned back to him and said, “Thank you again for chatting and letting me take a picture. God bless…. “
“No, bless you for taking time to get to know me….I love you”
And he walked away. And that was that. 
*
It is moments like this that again remind me of my privilege. It is moments like this I am reminded of the disconnect in society. It is moments like this I am reminded of the power of love.
This man took a chance by wearing his heart not only on his sleeve but on his body. He showed all those he met that there is strength and power in love.
I watched videos of reactions to the Chauvin verdict and what I noticed was a collective exhale. Visible and palpable relief. It was not justice. It was accountability. It was one man being held accountable for his actions. It does not solves the systemic issues of race inequities in this country. What this verdict does is begin to move the needle in the direction forward. We need to move forward towards creating a country where all people feel safe, loved and valued.
Moving forward happens one step at a time….one moment at a time. It all starts with love.
Peace
#tutulady
#forwardisapace

Forward

Kristine Binder

There are times in our life that require us to use every ounce of our energy, patience and endurance. It is so important in those times to use the energy that we DO have left to stay focused. It is so important to keep ourselves from thinking and obsessing about things that drain energy from us. That is often not easy to do.
We need to remain focused on the next step. We need to remember how far we’ve come. We need to remember that we can keep moving forward, often one baby step at a time.
It is in these times that new chapters of our life are being written. The chapters written before today and the chapters written in the future will make up the story that is your life. When all chapters of the story are together in one place, things will start to make sense. We will see that the part we’re going through right now could not be skipped. It is a critical part of the story! When we look at that complete story, we will see what an amazingly strong human we have become.
So, we take things one step at a time. We rest when we are tired. We do not linger in this space. We remember all the steps we took to get to this point. We know that if we keep moving forward, we make progress. All chapters must eventually end. So we take the next right step.
We move forward…one step at a time. A baby step or a giant leap…we just move forward.
Forward is a pace.
Peace
#tutulady
#forwardisapace

Release

Kristine Binder

Sometimes I get so confused and overwhelmed. I am a person who needs answers. What I have realized is that not everything has an answer. Not everything is going to make sense. To be honest, some things will never make sense, ever…and I just have to move on and move forward the best I know how.
Sometimes we don’t get the closure we need so we have to create the closure by saying goodbye to what we do know, and just let the rest just go.
Something that helps me with the release is thinking of all the good things I have learned from whatever it is and why I will be better off putting that energy elsewhere.
Here’s the thing…when we hold things in our hands, waiting until they make sense to let go, our hands are full. We have no room to accept and hold the new things that are waiting for us.
So today, let go of something you have been holding on to looking for that closure. It is not coming anytime soon so let it go. We are ready. We can do it. I believe in you and in me!
Release.
Peace
#tutulady
#forwardisapace

Happy

Kristine Binder

You know it’s okay to be happy, right?
Sometimes we suppress our happiness. Sometimes we suppress our happiness so that we don’t make others feel bad. Sometimes we suppress our happiness because we feel we don’t really deserve to be happy. Sometimes we suppress our happiness because we don’t feel worthy of happiness.
Happiness is for everyone. Everyone deserves to feel happy sometimes. Everyone goes through ups and downs all throughout life and some days we are so happy want to dance or shout it from the rooftops!
Sometimes when we are in a happy place, others might be going through a difficult time. Your ability to shine your light and share your happiness allows others to feel hopeful. Happiness is a gift. It is a gift to be celebrated, cherished and shared. Those who love you will be so happy for you when things are going well in your life. Just as we can also be happy for others when things are going well for them too. Do not ever think that your happiness is taking anything away from someone else. We want others to be happy because when others are happy, it helps us all to be happy too.
So today, take a deep breath, think only happy thoughts, turn your face to the sun and soak up every bit of that warm sunlight!
Happiness is good.
You are worthy of happiness today and every day.
Peace
#tutulady
#forwardisapace

Peace

Kristine Binder

It is a word to which I feel connected. It is a word that is all over my home and how I sign my emails and posts. It is a place and feeling I have been searching for for a long time.
It was not until the gift of the pandemic that I realized I have arrived into peace. It is a strange feeling.
When you live your life in hyper-vigilance and trauma for so long you forget when it feels like to really breathe, slowly and intentionally. I was talking to a friend the other day and said it is strange not to have to explain why I want to do nothing but knit or read. Why choosing to do nothing, or everything, in a day is liberating. Why sitting still feels so strange.
For years I killed myself in my home, as a mom and in my career. I was exhausted and made to believe that I was still not doing enough. “Why are you so tired?” (after teaching all day, driving kids all over, coaching, cooking dinner and doing other work) “What did you do all day?” (after keeping kids alive and out of the er, fed and happy all day plus house chores) “Why is (insert anything) not done yet?” (after doing all the things and fixing all the things and cooking all the things) I was conditioned to believe that I was not enough, I was not doing enough, and I was “lazy”. Yes, conditioned to believe those lies because I am a people pleaser (more on that trauma response later). I did not want to disappoint anyone. I did not want anyone to be angry with me so I killed myself….slowly and deliberately …. For the happiness of others.
What I failed to realize at the time is that I could NEVER make them happy.  The more I gave, the more they demanded. I had no boundaries.  Over the past 6 years, I have learned boundaries. I have learned balance. I have learned to honor myself.
It took a global pandemic to drive home the “slow down” message. I learned that slowing down to sit and knit, watch a whole movie, read a book or go for a long walk is ok. I am not “lazy” when I do those things. I am at peace. I do not have to be constantly moving. I do not have to give all of me in the name of the happiness of others. I do not have to explain my activity(or lack thereof) to anyone. I still want to make others happy (remember…people pleaser!) but I want to do it on my terms. It is not easy but I know what it feels like now to be at peace…..and I like it.
Peace
#tutulady
#forwardisapace