Eight years ago today, I signed my divorce papers, walked out of that building, and took my name back. It wasn’t just the end of a marriage—it was the beginning of a whole new life. Divorce is often painted as tragedy or failure, but for me, it became the doorway to freedom, healing, and becoming my truest self. Here are eight things I’ve learned since that day.
1. Freedom has a price—but it’s worth paying.
The road to my freedom wasn’t easy or cheap, in dollars or in emotional cost. There were lawyer bills, sleepless nights, and moments when I thought I might break. But the peace I have now, the ability to live authentically without walking on eggshells, is priceless. Sometimes freedom means losing things you thought you couldn’t live without—and realizing you can. And then realizing it is so much better!
2. Karma has its own clock.
I used to want to see instant justice, for people to “get what’s coming” the moment they hurt me. But I’ve learned karma doesn’t work on my timeline. It works quietly, steadily, and with perfect timing. You don’t have to seek revenge—life has a way of balancing the scales when you focus on your own growth instead.
3. Strength isn’t built in the easy seasons.
I didn’t realize how strong I was until I had no choice but to be. The days I thought would destroy me were the ones that built my backbone. Strength doesn’t mean you never cry or break down—it means you find the courage to stand back up every single time….and say, “ try again….”
4. Resilience is a muscle.
I’ve had to start over more than once since my divorce—financially, emotionally, even in how I saw myself. Every time I rebuilt, I found I could do it better, smarter, and stronger than before. Resilience grows with each challenge, and now I trust myself to survive whatever comes next.
5. Shame loses its power when you speak it aloud.
Divorce carries a shadow of shame in our culture, as if ending something that’s hurting you is a failure. I carried that weight for a while, worried about what people thought, until I learned this: shame grows in silence, but it shrinks in the light of truth. Telling my story not only freed me—it helped others feel less alone in theirs.
6. Taking your name back is more than paperwork.
Changing my name wasn’t just about identification—it was about reclaiming my identity. It was a reminder that I belong to myself. My name is a symbol of every step I’ve taken away from who I was told to be, and toward who I truly am.
7. You can fall in love again—in all sorts of ways.
Love after divorce isn’t just about another person. It’s about falling in love with joy and with life itself. It’s about my rescue dog, Lucky, who reminds me daily what unconditional love looks like. It’s about my people—the friends and family who show up, lift me up, and make me laugh until my face hurts. It’s about sunsets, music, and mornings where I wake up grateful for the quiet peace of my own company(which I rather enjoy!).
8. Divorce no longer defines me..
The things we go through can define us if we let them, or they can simply be one chapter in the book of our lives. For a long time, my divorce felt like the headline of my story. Now, it’s just one part of it—important, yes, but surrounded by so many other chapters filled with joy, love, growth, and possibility. I get to decide what defines me, and I choose everything I’ve built since that day.
Eight years later, I can say this: I didn’t just survive my divorce. I thrived because of it. Every step forward, baby step or giant leap, carried me here. Forward has been and always will be my pace.
Peace,
#tutulady
#forwardisapace
Kristine Binder 