Blog

Loss

Kristine Binder

I took some time recently to look at old photos. I was reminded of so many people I have loved and lost. Not one was a perfect person but they were good souls who helped me grow into the woman I am now. I miss them deeply. Family and friends that have left the planet….some too soon as they were so young.
I wonder why they had to go. My faith tells me that they must have fulfilled their purpose but my heart longs for more time with each. I am often angry that they are gone and I am left to explain the loss to others and myself. I am left with a hole in my heart where they used to be. I am left with words unsaid and advice unheard. I ride the waves of grief years later wondering what if…..
I also wonder why…why them? Why is it is good ones? The ones that are loved so deeply? Why do they leave this world and we are left with others who cause pain and anguish? What is the lesson here? Is it me that has lessons to learn or have these others on the planet been given more time to change before having to face their maker?
To those men who I have loved and lost, you will always be missed and never be forgotten. Your legacy will live on.
To the women who have taught me so many important lessons before leaving me…. I love you and I miss you. I long for one last long conversation with you. I promise to carry your legacy or strength. I promise to always make you proud. Your legacy will live on.
Who do you miss? Who have you loved and lost? What is the best memory you have of that person? What is the most important lesson they taught you?
Peace,
#tutulady
#forwardisapace

Music

Kristine Binder

I have been thinking a great deal about music lately. The oldies, the new stuff, the classics….all of it. I have heard many artists say that they could not focus at the beginning of the pandemic but now many are coming out with new content that is critically acclaimed.
Music has helped me feel all the feels during this time. What music/song has really moved you? What are you listening to now that is helping you move forward?
You can see what I am listening to by clicking on the Spotify link either at the top or bottom of the homepage!
Peace.
#tutulady
#forwardisapace

Freedom

Kristine Binder

Freedom. Such a small word with diverse and deep meaning.
Freedom is an empowering. It gives us the opportunity to succeed, and also to fail. It allows us to make our own way in life, and requires that we accept the responsibility for that life and the choices we make.
Freedom for one person or group does not equate to freedom for others. We each need to work to create freedom for each other so we all have the opportunity to experience freedom.
Freedom is something greater than just the right to act however we choose—it also working towards providing an equal opportunity for life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness for all people.
Freedom is impossible without responsibility. You can be truly free only by being totally responsible for your life, your actions and your choices.
Freedom allows us to live a life that we choose and live authentically as our true self. Although, many people would choose freedom over any alternative, freedom can often be very frightening. It often forces us to make difficult decisions, and requires effort to maintain. Though freedom is the best course of action in life, it is seldom the easiest. Freedom has given individuals and communities the ability to create great things. Thankfully, freedom is available to more people than ever before. But just because it is available, doesn’t mean you have it. To be truly free, you must accept your freedom, and all the responsibility that comes with it. To be free means being your own person, with your own purpose, and passion, and integrity.
What does Freedom mean to you? How do you define Freedom?
Peace
#tutulady
#forwardisapace

Ditch

Kristine Binder

Some moments are hard. Some days are hard. Some weeks and months are hard. Life is hard sometimes but we have to keep moving forward. Does that mean we can’t embrace the suck once in a while? NOPE. Life is actually better when we do.
I was having a rough day today. Pity party of one, anyone? I reached out to a friend and invited her to my party. Funny, she invited me to her pity party last night. She repeated some of the same things to me today that I had said to her last night.
Together we unpacked what was bugging each of us. Together we held space and sat with each other as we embraced the suck. Then, after a while, we packed up what would serve us and moved forward.
Sometimes on the road of life we can veer off into the ditch of self pity, anger, depression, anxiety, jealousy, rage, loneliness, fear…the list goes on and on as the ditch can be deep and wide! We may need a friend (or professional therapist) as an emotional tow truck to help us get unstuck. We may not always need to be rescued or fixed. Sometimes we just need that tow truck to show up, keeping us company while we find the answers and fix the problem on our own. Sometimes we do need that tow truck to pull us out of the ditch and get us back on the road. Either way, it is good to have that number at the ready so you can reach out in an emergency.
We can host that pity party sometimes. We can veer off into that ditch occasionally, embracing the suck when it happens. We just can’t unpack and live there. We can’t overstay our welcome.
Who is your emotional tow truck? Who sits with you while you embrace the suck? Who hauls your butt out of the ditch and gets you back on the road moving forward?
Be sure you have that number handy at all times. You never know when you will have an “emergency.”
Peace
#tutulady
#forwardisapace

Dry

Kristine Binder

Way back in early February I had a glass of wine…actually 2. The next day, I decided to give up alcohol for a while. It was not because I drink too much or because it was a problem but because I wanted to take a break. I was inspired by an amazing group of women who I admire greatly. To be completely honest, I have had only 3 sips of alcohol since that time. Each time, I took a sip and realized I didn’t want it. Don’t get me wrong, I love a glass of wine and I have booze in the house. There have been times I have really wanted to crack open a bottle of wine or pour a drink during this pandemic, but I didn’t. Over the past 4 months I have become keenly aware of the culture of alcohol and drinking we live in.
I am not a teetotaler (you youngsters can look that one up!) but taking a break has provided many benefits, namely weight loss and clarity! Waking up with the ability to remember what I did/said the day (and night) before is amazing! I can fully embarrass myself without the assistance of alcohol, thank you! Eating rather than drinking calories is surprisingly great too! Food tastes better than any boozy drink! Ok…maybe that is not all that true but I will say that for me it is far more satisfying to eat calories than drink them!
I know many friends who have decided that a relationship with life is more important than a relationship with alcohol and for that, I admire them so much. Life is difficult and more so without a buffer. Life is amazing and more so without a filter. Major Props to my sober friends!!
Will I have a glass of wine or a drink someday? Maybe. Will I have a glass of wine or drink here and there? Maybe. But for now, I love the freedom, the clarity and the ability to choose my path forward.
Peace
#tutulady
#forwardisapace