Tag: abuse

Deserving

Kristine Binder

The world shifted on January 20, 2025. So much of what we once knew and relied on seems to have vanished. Countless people now feel unsafe in their own country, and those who love them are grappling with helplessness.
I wish I could offer something profound or inspirational, but I don’t have all the answers. I’m not here to lead the way. I’m here to sit in this moment—in all its messiness—right alongside you. I’ll sit with these feelings for a while longer, and then I’ll do what I do best: share kindness and love. I’ll rise to protect those I love and care for. I’ll fight for the vulnerable.
Everyone deserves to feel safe, loved, and valued—whether at home, in school, at work, or in their communities. No one should endure rejection, discrimination, or harm because of who they are, where they are from  or who they love. The attacks on LGBTQIA+ and immigrant communities are not just political; they are assaults on human dignity. They fracture families, friendships, and communities, and they serve no purpose but to spread division and pain.
To every transgender, queer, nonbinary, and marginalized individual: Your life MATTERS. You are seen. You are powerful. Your life has purpose and meaning. Walking in your truth is an act of courage and strength, and every step you take toward being your authentic self shows the resilience that lies within you. You are deserving of love, respect, and kindness. Your existence brings light and beauty to the world. Please remember that you are valued, you are enough, and you are deeply loved. The world is brighter and better because of you. 
I will continue to show up, speak up, and stand up for immigrant and vulnerable communities. Advocacy has always been a part of who I am, but now I’m stepping fully into that role with unwavering determination. We can feel everything—grief, fear, anger—but then we move forward. We count down the days of the next four years, yes, but let’s not forget that we can make a difference much sooner by taking action right now.
Take the time you need to process your feelings. If you need a hug, a listening ear, or just someone to sit with you in the stillness, I’m here. But I won’t let you stay in that place too long. We have work to do.
I love you.
You matter.
You belong.
Together, we rise, move forward, to create a better, kinder, more accepting world.

Peace,
#tutulady
#forwardisapace

Choose

Kristine Binder

Every morning, I take a walk. Sometimes it’s with my dog, but yesterday, it was just me. It was warm out as I rounded the corner to head back home. I noticed a young man who seemed a bit overwhelmed.
As I crossed the street and got closer, I asked if he needed any help, assuring him that I wasn’t trying to be creepy, just helpful. He looked at me and started to tear up. I felt horrible and quickly said, “Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry. Are you okay?” He explained that he was having a rough morning because he was starting a new job and was extremely nervous. Tears fell as he tried to wipe the sweat off his face. I pulled a napkin out of my pocket and helped him, since his hands were full.
I then asked where he was headed and if he’d like some company on the rest of his walk, since I was headed home. He said yes, and we walked and talked. He shared his worries about the new job and some personal stories. I listened and empathized.
When we arrived at the entrance to his new workplace, I wished him good luck and we said our goodbyes. As I walked the rest of the way home, I was filled with so many emotions.
There are no coincidences, only God incidents. We are put where we are needed; we just need to be aware. We never know what people are going through, and sometimes a simple act of kindness can make a life-changing difference.
Choose Kindness.
Choose Love.
Peace.
#tutulady
#forwardisapace

Lost

Kristine Binder

There are days when I focus on what I lost and days when I focus on all I gained. The good usually outweighs the bad, but some days I still wonder…
As a parent, I often found myself lost in the divorce process without any clear direction of my own. This lack of direction led me to miss out on precious opportunities and strained the relationships I had with my children. The old adage, “if you can see it, you can be it,” didn’t seem to apply to me. All I could see were my own flaws, inadequacies, and unresolved traumas. I had no one to turn to, no role model to guide me on how to be a better parent or even how to just be. In this process, I feel I failed my children and lost a part of them.
Watching my kids grow up and become independent has been both a source of immense pride and a bittersweet reminder of the time and connection I feel I lost. Our job as parents is to create independent adults who can navigate the world on their own, and in this, I believe I succeeded. I am incredibly proud of each of my children. They have grown into wonderfully productive and amazing adults. However, I often wish their growth had happened in a more nurturing and supportive environment rather than under the pressures and challenges we faced.
I can’t help but wonder how different things might have been. Would our relationships be stronger if circumstances had been different? Perhaps. But perhaps something else would have strained our bonds. It’s impossible to know for sure. What I do know is that once I was able to ‘just be their mom,’ I did my best with the tools and knowledge I had.
Parenting is a journey without a definitive guidebook. Each of us stumbles through it even in the best of circumstances, learning as we go, often making mistakes along the way. I have made many, and for those, I will continue to apologize. My hope is that someday, my children will offer me grace and forgiveness. In the meantime, I hold onto the moments of connection and the pride I feel for the incredible individuals they are and have become.
I realize that every parent faces their own struggles and triumphs. It’s easy to focus on the losses and the “what ifs”, but it’s equally important to acknowledge the gains and the growth. My children’s resilience and success are testaments to their strength and the unwavering love that I have always had, and always will have, for them. And for that, I am profoundly grateful.
Peace,
#tutulady
#forwardisapace

Peace

Kristine Binder

This morning, I woke up in my happy place. Yet, something felt different. As I sipped my coffee, gazing at the water and listening to the birds, it struck me: today is Independence Day, a day we celebrate freedom. But today, it wasn’t just about national freedom; it was about my personal freedom. For the first time in what feels like forever, I am at peace. For over half my life, I lived in fear, always bracing for the next shoe to drop, tirelessly trying to maintain peace around me. The anxiety of keeping everything and everyone in balance was a heavy burden. But now, that chapter is closed. The peace I feel now is so profound, so tangible, that it’s almost overwhelming. To anyone who has spent years wondering when the turmoil will end, take heart: it does end. There is peace after the storm. When you finally reach that moment when the world allows you to truly exhale for what feels like the first time in your adult life, it’s like a weight is lifted. The constant feeling of impending doom dissipates, and what remains is pure, unadulterated peace. Even though our country may feel scary and uncertain right now, peace is still possible. The hope for that peace is what drives us forward. Our nation’s current challenges can make it hard to believe in a peaceful future, but it’s crucial to hold onto that hope. It is hope that sustains us, fuels our resilience, and lights the way to a brighter, more peaceful tomorrow. I share my journey, the good, bad and inbetween to give others hope. Hope that things do get better. Hope that there is a way forward. Hope that a future filled with peace is possible. On this Independence Day, I celebrate not just the freedom of our nation, but the profound personal freedom that has finally brought me real peace. Peace is out there, waiting for you. Keep moving forward, and I promise that you will find it.

Peace, #tutulady #forwardisapace

Love

Kristine Binder

Self-love.
What would you do if someone else treated you the way you treat yourself? How would you react if someone criticized you the way you criticize yourself? How would it be if someone forced you into the same self-defeating behavior that you choose to do on your own? What if someone else prevented you from enjoying life as much as you deny enjoyment to yourself? You would, no doubt, be outraged. If you would never let someone else treat you that way, why do you allow yourself to do so? You have control over your own actions, your own thoughts, your own feelings. Stop defeating yourself. Allow yourself to live, permit yourself to succeed, let yourself enjoy life. Be good to yourself. You deserve it.
Peace
#tutulady
#forwardisapace