Tag: change

Becoming

Kristine Binder

Your past does not define your future. Not the good choices you made, not the decisions you aren’t proud of, not the moments that brought you joy, and not the experiences that tore you apart. All of it happened, all of it shaped you, but none of it gets to decide what comes next unless you allow it to.
For a long time, I carried my past like a verdict. I treated certain choices as proof that I should know better by now or that I had somehow failed myself. I replayed moments that went beautifully and moments that broke me open, trying to figure out what they said about who I was and what I deserved. I gave the past far more authority than it ever earned.
What I’m learning, over and over again, is that the past is information, not destiny. It can teach you. It can inform you. It can offer wisdom if you’re willing to listen. But it does not get to write your future on your behalf.
I’ve also come to understand how deeply belief shapes experience. What we expect, we prepare for. What we fear, we rehearse. What we believe we deserve, we either make room for or quietly push away. The energy we carry, consciously or not, has a way of finding its way back to us. What you believe, you receive.
This is a lesson I am still learning. Some days I catch myself slipping into old narratives, bracing for disappointment, waiting for the other shoe to drop, assuming the next chapter will be harder than the last. Other days, I notice that pattern and choose something different. I remind myself that change doesn’t require perfection — it requires progress. Small shifts. Better questions. A little more trust than yesterday.
Calling in the good doesn’t mean ignoring what hurt or pretending difficult things didn’t happen. It means refusing to let pain have the final word. It means allowing joy to arrive without immediately questioning how long it will last or what it will cost. It means making space for possibility instead of living in constant state of anticipatory grief.
I don’t want my future to be a reaction to my past. I want it to be a response to who I am now. The mistakes I’ve made don’t disqualify me from what’s ahead. The joy I’ve experienced doesn’t trap me in nostalgia. And the grief I’ve carried doesn’t mean more loss is inevitable.
So this is what I’m practicing now: choosing progress over perfection, loosening my grip on the past, and intentionally calling in what I want more of. Not perfectly. Not every day. But with awareness, patience, and intention.
Because the future isn’t something I inherit. It’s something I help create. And I’m learning, one step at a time, to call in the good.

Peace,
#tutulady
#forwardisapace

Nests

Kristine Binder

Nests. Home. So, here I am, standing at the threshold of what some might call an “empty nest.” Yes, it’s true – all my kids have flown the coop and are off living their best lives. But let me tell you something:
I couldn’t be more excited about it!
You see, I’ve never been a fan of that term “empty nester.” It has this connotation of sadness, of something missing or lost. But I prefer to think of myself as a “bird launcher.” Why, you ask? Because I’ve launched my kids into the world where they can spread their wings and soar, living their best life on their own terms. And you know what? That’s a reason to celebrate!
Watching my children embark on their own journeys, pursuing their dreams, and making their way in the world fills my heart with joy(and a tad bit of fear if I am being totally honest!) I’ve always believed in giving them the freedom to make their own choices, and now they have the opportunity to do just that.
Sure, my home may be quieter now, and I have a little more free time on my hands. But that’s not a bad thing at all. It’s a chance for me to rediscover parts of myself. A chance for me to dust off those dreams that I put away on a shelf while I was busy raising my kids. It’s a time to finish those projects I started, pursue new passions, and simply enjoy life in a different way.
Think about it like this: if birds never left their nests, those nests would become crowded and cramped. An empty nest, on the other hand, is a sign that the family has grown and evolved. It’s a natural progression of life, and it’s something to be celebrated.
My kids have strong wings, and they know they can always return home when they need a rest or some of Momma’s home cooking. And you know what? That’s perfectly okay by me. I’ll always be here to offer support and love (food and laundry too!)
I don’t mourn the so-called “empty nest” stage of life. I embrace it as the “bird launcher” phase, and so should you! This is the time you get to see your children spread their wings and discover the world. It’s a time for both them and you to flourish, grow, and savor the freedom that comes with it.
Here’s to the next exciting chapter in life!
The nest may be empty but the wings are strong and this momma’s heart is so full.
Peace, 
#tutulady
#forwardisapace

10

Kristine Binder

The ten year challenge has been super popular on social media lately. I am not normally one to jump on one of these challenges, but this time? For sure.
I took time to reflect on all the has changed over the past 10 years…..and there is a LOT! Here’s a list in not specific order:
– 4 kids graduated from high school.
– I got divorced (that alone took YEARS to accomplish and years off my life!)
– represented myself Pro Se in court several times
– I moved 2 different times, downsizing each time!
– bought and sold 3 cars of my own (one of my proudest moments was negotiating these deals on my own)
– wrote and published a book
– started, and currently run, 3 different businesses
– ran 9 marathons and countless other races from 5K’s to half marathons
– said goodbye to 2 dogs and hello to another
– survived a pandemic (and am still playing Frogger with the virus!)
– got my CCL (and have since requalified and renewed it!)
– got certified as a coach in several different areas
– created a support system of women who have surrounded me with love, guided me with wisdom and blessed me with friendship
– gained financial control and independence
– created a peaceful home and space where people enjoy spending time
– developed deeper, more authentic relationships with all 5 of my children
– found my own center of gravity, my heart and my soul

There are so many other things to add to the list but these are the biggest changes of which I am most proud. So much can happen in the span of a single year and even more in the span of ten years. When I look at the calendar, a decade does not seem long. But when I look at myself, I realize how long it has been and how far I have come. I cannot change the events which occurred in the last 10 years of my life but I can look back at all the lessons learned that have made me the woman I am today. If someone would have told that overwhelmed, trapped, woman who had lost herself that the next 10 years would lead to the biggest and most dramatic transformation of her life…..she would never have believed it.
I lost a great deal over the past 10 years but one thing that never got lost was my hope and my faith. My hope and faith in a higher power, as well as faith that there was a plan for my life have guided my every step so for in my life. I may not always understand that plan nor like it at times, but I trust and believe that the universe has my back.
The next 10 years have 120 months and over 3650 days. I intend to make every single one count.
Peace
#tutulady
#forwardisapace