Tag: divorce

59

Kristine Binder

Today is my birthday, and as I celebrate another trip around the sun, I’ve been reflecting on the countless lessons life has taught me. From the deepest heartaches to the most glittery triumphs, here are 60 lessons I’ve learned so far – with a few bonus ones sprinkled in because, well, why not? Life is too short not to add a little extra sparkle.

59 Life Lessons I’ve Learned:

  1. Love isn’t always simple, but it’s always worth it.
  2. Grief doesn’t go away; it transforms. You learn to weave it into the fabric of your life.
  3. A wagging tail can remind you that joy often comes in the simplest moments and that love is unconditional.
  4. Kindness is the quietest revolution, but the most powerful one.
  5. Pink isn’t just a color; it’s an attitude.
  6. You can’t pour from an empty cup, so fill it with what fuels your soul.
  7. Glitter isn’t just an accessory; it’s a way of life.
  8. The best ideas often begin with a whisper of possibility.
  9. Showing up for the people you love is the ultimate act of courage.
  10. Life’s too short not to create your own moments of magic.
  11. Outgrowing things doesn’t mean failure; it’s a sign of growth.
  12. The art of saying no is the art of protecting your peace.
  13. Often, a hug speaks volumes and no words are needed.
  14. Dancing in the kitchen is sometimes better than a  grand celebration.
  15. Losing someone reshapes you, but their love stays alive in your heart forever.
  16. There’s nothing quite like getting lost in the pages of a good book.
  17. Keep showing up. Consistency is underrated but transformative.
  18. Sunrises are whispers from the universe, reminding you to begin again.
  19. Hope isn’t just a mindset; it’s a daily practice.
  20. Lead with joy. It’s infectious in the best way.
  21. The mirror reflects your only competition. Be better than you were yesterday.
  22. A great joke or a belly laugh can feel like a tiny miracle.
  23. Sometimes, the best therapy is a run (or walk) in fresh air.
  24. Heartbreak is life’s way of reshaping your heart for something bigger.
  25. Gratitude makes even the smallest moments bigger.
  26. Helping others lights a fire within you.
  27. Tears can be soul-cleansing.
  28. Growth often comes from the messiest chapters of life.
  29. Fear isn’t an enemy; it’s an indicator of something worth pursuing.
  30. Music has the power to mend what words cannot.
  31. Advocating for what’s right is rarely easy, but it’s always worthwhile.
  32. Celebrate the small victories; they’re the foundation of success.
  33. A hot cup of tea can soothe both body and soul.
  34. Hard days will come, but so will better ones. Hold on.
  35. Community is the backbone of a life well-lived. Find yours.
  36. A tutu isn’t just an outfit; it’s an unapologetic declaration of joy.
  37. Magic is hidden in the smallest, quietest moments. Seek it out.
  38. You can’t fix everything, but you can always show up.
  39. Forgiveness and making amends liberates you more than anyone else.
  40. A handwritten note can change someone’s day. Write them often.
  41. Being present is the greatest gift you can offer.
  42. Leap before you’re ready; trust the net will appear.
  43. Listen with your whole heart; it’s the key to connection.
  44. Reinvention isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity.
  45. Love and loss are intertwined. Embrace both.
  46. Rewrite your story as often as you need to. You hold the pen.
  47. A candlelit evening at home can be as magical as a night out.
  48. Sometimes, the best journeys are the ones you take with music as your only guide.
  49. The most meaningful work often happens in silence.
  50. Let people know they matter; never leave it unsaid.
  51. Love…just love. Let love lead. 
  52. A touch of glitter makes everything feel more festive.
  53. Surround yourself with those who fan your flames, not extinguish them.
  54. Life’s messy, beautiful, and worth every second.
  55. There’s a unique magic in the rhythm of waves; spending time near the water soothes the mind, heals the soul, and reminds us of life’s endless ebb and flow.
  56. The most extraordinary moments are often wrapped in ordinary days.
  57. Joy is an act of rebellion. Choose it every day.
  58. Resume virtues may build a career, but eulogy virtues—kindness, integrity, love, and generosity—are what truly create a meaningful and unforgettable life.
  59. Love is love is love is love is love, infinite and transformative; it has the power to heal, uplift, empower, inspire, and remind us of the beauty and light within us all.

    Here’s to another year of learning, loving, and living life with all the sparkle, grief, laughter, and tutus it has to offer. Thanks for being part of my journey. Now, let’s celebrate!

    Peace,
    #tutulady
    #forwardisapace

Choose

Kristine Binder

Every morning, I take a walk. Sometimes it’s with my dog, but yesterday, it was just me. It was warm out as I rounded the corner to head back home. I noticed a young man who seemed a bit overwhelmed.
As I crossed the street and got closer, I asked if he needed any help, assuring him that I wasn’t trying to be creepy, just helpful. He looked at me and started to tear up. I felt horrible and quickly said, “Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry. Are you okay?” He explained that he was having a rough morning because he was starting a new job and was extremely nervous. Tears fell as he tried to wipe the sweat off his face. I pulled a napkin out of my pocket and helped him, since his hands were full.
I then asked where he was headed and if he’d like some company on the rest of his walk, since I was headed home. He said yes, and we walked and talked. He shared his worries about the new job and some personal stories. I listened and empathized.
When we arrived at the entrance to his new workplace, I wished him good luck and we said our goodbyes. As I walked the rest of the way home, I was filled with so many emotions.
There are no coincidences, only God incidents. We are put where we are needed; we just need to be aware. We never know what people are going through, and sometimes a simple act of kindness can make a life-changing difference.
Choose Kindness.
Choose Love.
Peace.
#tutulady
#forwardisapace

Lost

Kristine Binder

There are days when I focus on what I lost and days when I focus on all I gained. The good usually outweighs the bad, but some days I still wonder…
As a parent, I often found myself lost in the divorce process without any clear direction of my own. This lack of direction led me to miss out on precious opportunities and strained the relationships I had with my children. The old adage, “if you can see it, you can be it,” didn’t seem to apply to me. All I could see were my own flaws, inadequacies, and unresolved traumas. I had no one to turn to, no role model to guide me on how to be a better parent or even how to just be. In this process, I feel I failed my children and lost a part of them.
Watching my kids grow up and become independent has been both a source of immense pride and a bittersweet reminder of the time and connection I feel I lost. Our job as parents is to create independent adults who can navigate the world on their own, and in this, I believe I succeeded. I am incredibly proud of each of my children. They have grown into wonderfully productive and amazing adults. However, I often wish their growth had happened in a more nurturing and supportive environment rather than under the pressures and challenges we faced.
I can’t help but wonder how different things might have been. Would our relationships be stronger if circumstances had been different? Perhaps. But perhaps something else would have strained our bonds. It’s impossible to know for sure. What I do know is that once I was able to ‘just be their mom,’ I did my best with the tools and knowledge I had.
Parenting is a journey without a definitive guidebook. Each of us stumbles through it even in the best of circumstances, learning as we go, often making mistakes along the way. I have made many, and for those, I will continue to apologize. My hope is that someday, my children will offer me grace and forgiveness. In the meantime, I hold onto the moments of connection and the pride I feel for the incredible individuals they are and have become.
I realize that every parent faces their own struggles and triumphs. It’s easy to focus on the losses and the “what ifs”, but it’s equally important to acknowledge the gains and the growth. My children’s resilience and success are testaments to their strength and the unwavering love that I have always had, and always will have, for them. And for that, I am profoundly grateful.
Peace,
#tutulady
#forwardisapace

Peace

Kristine Binder

This morning, I woke up in my happy place. Yet, something felt different. As I sipped my coffee, gazing at the water and listening to the birds, it struck me: today is Independence Day, a day we celebrate freedom. But today, it wasn’t just about national freedom; it was about my personal freedom. For the first time in what feels like forever, I am at peace. For over half my life, I lived in fear, always bracing for the next shoe to drop, tirelessly trying to maintain peace around me. The anxiety of keeping everything and everyone in balance was a heavy burden. But now, that chapter is closed. The peace I feel now is so profound, so tangible, that it’s almost overwhelming. To anyone who has spent years wondering when the turmoil will end, take heart: it does end. There is peace after the storm. When you finally reach that moment when the world allows you to truly exhale for what feels like the first time in your adult life, it’s like a weight is lifted. The constant feeling of impending doom dissipates, and what remains is pure, unadulterated peace. Even though our country may feel scary and uncertain right now, peace is still possible. The hope for that peace is what drives us forward. Our nation’s current challenges can make it hard to believe in a peaceful future, but it’s crucial to hold onto that hope. It is hope that sustains us, fuels our resilience, and lights the way to a brighter, more peaceful tomorrow. I share my journey, the good, bad and inbetween to give others hope. Hope that things do get better. Hope that there is a way forward. Hope that a future filled with peace is possible. On this Independence Day, I celebrate not just the freedom of our nation, but the profound personal freedom that has finally brought me real peace. Peace is out there, waiting for you. Keep moving forward, and I promise that you will find it.

Peace, #tutulady #forwardisapace

Entitled

Kristine Binder

This morning, I went out for a run by myself. It was my own neighborhood, broad daylight, at 6am. As I waited to cross the street at a crosswalk, a car turned right in front of me. A man in a Honda SUV rolled down his passenger side window, looked at me, and said, “Can I ask you something?” I looked at him, confused, and said, “Excuse me?”
He asked again, “Can I ask you something?” I said nothing, and then he said, “Are you single? You’re hot!”
I glared at him with dagger eyes and said, “What the fuck is wrong with you?!” He smiled and sped off.
This is what women deal with on a daily basis in society: men thinking they can roll up on women and talk to them just because they’re men. I didn’t want to be bothered while I was on a run, but this man took it upon himself to not only interrupt me but to think that he was entitled to my attention.
This is misogyny. This is male entitlement.
This is the world women live in—one of constant fear of men who feel entitled. Misogyny isn’t just about overt hostility or discrimination; it’s about the pervasive, everyday encounters that remind women of their place in a male-centered society. It’s the entitlement that some men feel, believing they have the right to invade a woman’s personal space, disrupt her peace, and impose their desires on her. This toxic entitlement often extends beyond gender, affecting anyone who doesn’t fit into the narrow mold of hetero-normative, cisgender men, including those of different religions, LGBTQIA individuals, and anyone who looks different.
Running should be a simple, peaceful activity, but for women, it often comes with the added burden of dealing with unwanted attention and harassment. What should be a moment of personal freedom and health becomes overshadowed by the fear of what might happen next. This fear isn’t irrational; it’s rooted in countless experiences where a common activity turns unsafe.
This morning’s encounter is just one of countless instances where women are forced to confront the reality of misogyny and male entitlement head-on. It’s exhausting, infuriating, and, unfortunately, all too common.
All I wanted was to go for a run to release some stress and gain some sanity. What I got was another reminder that no place is completely safe for women, or anyone other than hetero-normative men.
Acknowledging these challenges is the first step toward change. By sharing our experiences and refusing to stay silent, we can push for a world where everyone can feel safe and respected, no matter where they are or what they’re doing.
Has something like this ever happened to you? What have you done? How have you handled it in the moment and the aftermath?
Peace
#tutulady
#forwardisapace