Tag: forward is a pace

Balance

Kristine Binder

Over the past months, the stress of life, work and a pandemic have been growing. I have felt a bit off balance for a while. I have been building a fragile house of cards that finally collapsed this week. It was all too much and when that last little card was placed on top…..I fell apart. It was too much for me to handle.
Falling apart is nothing new to me. I have fallen apart and rebuilt myself so many times I could add General Contractor to my resume! Thus I have surrounded myself with a great team! People that act as designers, builders, electricians, support beams, windows, foundations….everything needed to rebuild the house that is me stronger and more beautiful than it was before. It is in the rebuilding that I repair was was broken and replace what was not working well to begin with. It is also a time to add new and better additions to the structure.
So I allowed myself to fall completely apart….I mean all the way to the core. It was not pretty but it was necessary. I needed to be able to start fresh.
Every message of weakness, fear and vulnerability I voiced was met with validation. What came back to me were voices of strength and hope, words and messages I had said to others in the past. The affirmation of those voices began to rebuild the walls of my house stronger than it was in the past. I was going to be better than ok. I was going to be amazing!
This week was a stark reminder of that balance. What you put out into the world and how it all eventually comes back to you. You may not see it right away when you make connections with people, but those connections come back to support you in spades when you need them most.
We all feel off balance from time to time. We all fall apart from time to time. Once we allow ourselves the grace to fall down and fall apart, we can begin to rebuild better than before. Have you been feeling off balance? Have you fallen apart? Do you need help rebuilding? If so, let me know! I am an expert builder!
Peace,
#tutulady
#forwardisapace 

Peace

Kristine Binder

Peace. It is a word that means a great deal to me. There are lots things in my home with that word. I have many pieces of peace sign jewelry. I have shoes with peace signs on them. I sign my emails and blog posts with “Peace.”
I always thought I loved the word Peace because I am a hippy at heart. I love all things 60’s and 70’s, especially the music and fashion. I truly think Stevie Nicks is my spirit animal. While all that is true, it is not really why I love that word and all that it embodies. I realize now that peace has been my end goal….it is what I have been looking for in my life.
During my marriage, my life was chaos. I mean, having multiple kids all going different directions and a wasband that was rarely home, chaos was a given. Or so I thought. The times the family was all together, things were no better…..they were often worse. I failed to realize at the time that I was constantly walking on eggshells, as were my kids.
Do not get me wrong, there were many fun, good times but, what I realized after my divorce, was the true cost of those fun and good times. Family activities were enjoyable but there was always a great deal of drama involved. Family dinners had a great deal of laughs, until things went too far with someone always leaving the table crying. Homework and school activities were all my responsibility (I mean I was a teacher, right?). I made excuses so regularly, it became the norm. I was always going places on my own with the kids…so much so that people joked about my invisible partner.
I felt like a ballerina because I spent so much time tip toeing around all the moods. I was constantly on alert, and constantly trying to shield my kids from the next mood swing. It was exhausting. Living in a state of hyper vigilance takes a toll on the mind and body and I was falling apart. All the while I leaned on that word….Peace.
I just wanted peace. So, I started running. I ran for miles and miles looking for peace. Running was my time to quiet the voices in my head and physically exhaust my body to the same level as my brain. Recently, I was lamenting about not training for the marathon this year and a friend pointed out that I no longer needed to train for or run the marathon. I had used marathon training as an escape, trying to find a place of peace in my life. I had finally crossed the finish line with my divorce and the race was over.
I have now retired the toe shoes and tossed the eggshells. I walk, and run, with new purpose. I stand on my own two feet that are firmly planted on the ground. I breathe deep, inhaling the present and exhaling the past. I look forward and move forward from a place of peace. My life, my head and my heart are finally at peace.
Peace.
#tutulady
#forwardisapace

Dare

Kristine Binder

“It all started with a dare. Now she wears a pink tutu whenever she runs a marathon. Listen as teacher and life coach Kristine Binder (#tutulady) talks about dealing with anxiety, depression and divorce to inspire girls and women to run the marathon of life.”
Show notes from episode #16 of the Dream Highway podcast

In this episode of the Dream Highway Podcast, host Steve Pedersen and I discuss running, coaching, the LGBTQIA+ community, Girls on the Run and my book, The Lemonade Stand. We talk about faith, acceptance, belonging, shame, vulnerability, as well as dreams and goal setting.
Tune In to learn where we find strength, grace and peace in our current climate that contains so much negativity and division! Be sure to listen and leave a comment!
Available where ever you listen to podcasts!
http://bit.ly/DreamHighwayPodcast

Negative

Kristine Binder

“I’m too old” “I’m too young” “I’m not smart enough” “I’m so stupid” “I’m too fat” “I’m too skinny” “I can’t do it” “They don’t like me” “I’m not perfect” “I talk too much” “I’m shy” “I hate my hair/teeth/voice/body” “I’m not worth it” “I am such a loser”
Negative self talk. We all do it. The list mean things we say to ourselves is endless. These are things we would never say to a friend, much less a stranger, yet we say them to our selves constantly.
People tell me “You are so strong!” “How did you get so strong?” Well ….the hard way! When you are in an abusive relationship, bruises heal and fade away. However, the words that are said, the insults that are hurled at 100 miles per hour, the underhanded comments that are said just loud enough for you to hear but not loud enough for others, the gaslighting, that all takes a serious toll on your mental health and self esteem.
So, how did I get so strong? It was not easy. Therapy was the first line of defense. Being vulnerable to open up, owning my weaknesses and mistakes was work. Unpacking years of emotional baggage was work. Changing destructive patterns of behavior was work. It was all hard work.
One of the most difficult pieces to address was untangling the web of lies and unwrapping the person I had hidden away. The verbal reel of negative and patronizing comments, put downs,  insults and insecurity played over and over in my head until I learned to reframe it and play a different tape. That took work.
Part of that work was creating a new soundtrack. This new reel needed to be filled with positives and encouragement. Thus started my practice of affirmations. I did not think it would work but I was willing to try anything. I had coached my Girls on the Run to encourage each other with positive words. We threw our Negative Nellie words in the trash, figuratively and in reality. Now it was my turn to practice what I was preaching. I wrote all the negative words and statements about myself i could think of and then tossed it in the trash. Gone!
I wrote a new affirmation for myself each week. I set it as a reminder on my phone and wrote in on post it notes. I repeated it multiple times a day. It was silly but I had to try. It sounds like it was easy….nope….it was WORK. I did not want to do it some days (more days than not!) but I repeated the affirmation over and over each week.
Slowly but surely, things started to change. I was listening to myself. I was hearing what I was saying to myself. I was creating a new soundtrack. I began to catch myself when I started saying something negative and reframing that to a positive….”I can’t do that” became “I can’t do that …yet.” “I’m too old” became “I have more experience than other people. “I talk too much” became “I have a lot to share”
There are days I still struggle but I lean on my affirmations. They held me resent and realign to my values each day. They remind me that I am worth it and that being positive is a practice that is work each day.
What are you telling yourself? Are you cutting yourself down or building yourself up? Are you disparaging yourself or encouraging yourself? You are your own worst critic and your own best cheerleader. The choice is yours but no matter what you choose, it is going to be work!
Peace,
#tutulady
#forwardisapace

Rise

Kristine Binder

I am so honored to be featured on the Moms Who Rise website!
What a priceless blessing to have the opportunity to share my story with others and raise awareness!
To read more, check out the complete article here:
Meet Kristine
Be sure to read the stories of other inspiring Moms Who Rise too!