Tag: girls on the run

Aide

Kristine Binder

Four years ago today I ran what would be my last marathon. I did not know that at the time but I had an idea….I was tired. Training is difficult, time consuming and takes a toll on the body.
I just could not sit on the sidelines. The FOMO was real and I needed to be out there on Marathon day….so what is a girl to do? VOLUNTEER!
Two years ago my friend Khit asked for help with her aide station and jumped at the chance. I was put in charge of Gatotrade. Now, to some that would not be a big deal, but to me it was huge. I was in change of a battalion of volunteers that mix, pour and serve Gatorade to runners. Mixing it correctly is important…too weak and runners do not get enough nourishment. Too strong and runners get sick. Prepping table to serve it all is a big deal as well. Layers of cups are filled and often blow off the tables.
The day is long and starts early. I was up and ready to go by 4:30am, finishing about 12:30/1pm. And yes….wearing the tutu!
In between all that time, we are serving and cheering runners. Our aide station is about mile 12. Today it was unusually busy, even though the number of runners was lower than in past years. Why? Medical tent. Today was hot and humid. The conditions went from yellow to red as the day progressed and that progression was evident in the faces and bodies of runners.
Spotting hurting runners and keeping spectators off the course as well as out of the medical area was a full time job today. I mean….people do not like to be told no and feel a bit entitled sometimes. I was called a bitch 39 times. I was shooting for an even 40 but….it is a dream deferred! Like the Cub fan I am…there is always next year!
I was cheering runners all morning. The elite runners are a site to behold but the wheelchair athletes, endurance athletes, and those with special needs? Those folks are my inspiration!
“You got this!”
“Today is your Day!”
“You are going to finish and get a medal today!”
“You look so strong and amazing!”
I shouted and high fived runners as they passed for hours. Eventually a spectator called me over to the side. She looked at her young son and said, “tell her what you just said…” The teacher in my thinks she is trying to teach a lesson…..and yes, she was.
“I said that you are really inspirational. If I were running this, you would make me feel so good.”
I stood, stunned for a minute and replied, “These runners are MY inspiration. I know what is takes to train for and run a marathon. It is not easy and someday WHEN you run the marathon, I will be right her to cheer you on!”
He smiled and so did I….and then I was back to cheering on the runners.
I saw 2 of my former students running (one of which cheered for me once before!). I saw my friend, the running priest! I saw so many friends who knew just where I would be. The two most important, my BRF (best running friend) and another running buddy of ours gave me tight long sweaty hugs that I will never forget. The transfer of energy was electric!
As the end drew near, there were still runners on the course….walking now but determined to finish. We started to break things down and clean up and the crowds thinned. I took a moment, standing in the middle of the street and took it all in…all that had been accomplished by not only the runners, but the volunteers as well.
The Chicago Marathon only happens because so many people work so hard in tandem with others to make it all possible. It is no small operation.
Once everything was picked up and packed up, it was time to say goodbye and head home. Another year in the books. My heart is so full.
Peace
#tutulady
#forwardisapace

Bikini

Kristine Binder

Today is National Bikini Day! Did you know that? I did not! It popped up on my calendar and got me to thinking……thinking about women and bathing suits.
This past weekend I went to a pool party. I was nervous as I did not know many people and was unsure what bathing suit to wear. I brought a few options, both 2 piece because my only other suit is a one piece that I wear to swim laps.
I put on my bikini and went in the pool….a little nervous. There were about 6 other women there(all over 40)….and all got in the pool. All had on all sorts of bathing suits but what was amazing was that all of the women complemented each other on each other’s swimwear and all seemed comfortable in the water. This was a first for me.
I have never been comfortable in swimwear. I have worn bikinis, tankinis and one pieces but I have never liked the way I look in any of them. I know that this started at a young age. I found an old photo from when I was 17 the summer before senior year. I was covered from head to toe…long sleeve shirt and large beach towel wrapped around my lower half. At first glance one would think it was cold on the beach…nope. The others in the photo (that I cut out!) are all in skimpy 80’s bikinis, short shorts and tank tops. I hated my body and always thought I was fat. I mean I was bigger than most girls but I was not the wafer thin image of beauty of that time.
I gained and lost weight my whole life. I was never confident in my figure and constantly compared myself to others standard of beauty. I looked to others (usually men) for validation that I was pretty.
Fast forward 17 years. I was a 34 year old mom to 3 girls under the age of 6. I was not happy that someone took a photo of me and remember being very upset once I saw it….and saw how large I was. I mean I knew I was big and I was not comfortable wearing a bathing suit at the beach. The photo just made it worse.
At 46, I wrote about my body and the envy of younger women here
Today I went for a bike ride and then chose to read near the lake. I asked a few passing teens to take a photo of me in my bikini. It was uncomfortable to ask but I pushed past those feelings and listened as they coached me on how to pose. I explained to the girls that I am usually the one behind the camera as a mom. One said that her mom “is like you ….ya know….in her 30’s …..and always says the same thing…..” I said well, “I am 55 so…….” They were stunned!
I really just wanted the photos for me and waited until I got home to look at them. Then I got to thinking…..I am at a point in my life that I really have no fucks left to give. Why not be proud to wear a 2 piece? Why not be proud of this body? Do my arms jiggle? Yup! Do my thighs rub together? Yup! Do I have a fupah/pooch/belly? Yup! Who cares? I have carried and fed 4 babies with this body. I have run countless miles and finished 9 marathons. I have peddled enough miles to circle the world more times than I can count. I have enjoyed many good meals and some fast food too (yuck!). It is time I loved this vessel that carries me though the world.
Looking back I would have told that 17 year old to let it go. That not every one is going to like you or your body. Loving yourself is going to get you further in life than the self hate that will lead to many toxic relationships. I would tell that 34 year old momma to stop and take a breath. Those babies love your lap and love to snuggle you. They are watching how you act and listening to how you speak about your body. Teach them to love themselves as they are. 55 year old me is going to love on the woman in the mirror more. She is going to continue to enjoy good food and a good workout, and she is going to wear more bikinis!
Eat the food.
Take a walk.
Run/Ride the miles
Soak up the sun (and wear sunscreen!)
Wear whatever makes you feel like a badass!
Love that person staring back at you from the mirror!
You Are Beautiful!
Peace,
#tutulady
#forwardisapace

Earth

Kristine Binder

I am a Capricorn. Capricorns are an Earth sign. I need to feel grounded in the earth which I think is why I love my plants and gardening so much. I also think that is why I like running. My feet hitting the pavement with each footfall is my connection to the Earth.
There are also places on the Earth that ground me. One of those places in the Chicago Lakefront Trail. During the height of my “high conflict” divorce (the PC way of saying super nasty, craptastic divorce from an abusive narcissist), I found solace and comfort in my long bike rides along the Lakefront. I would head out in the morning with my bike, some water and a book. I would ride for 10 miles, take a break to read and people watch, then ride the 10 miles back to my car. It was an escape from the pressures of life where no one could find me for a while.
Once we got Lucky, I started taking him down there to run with me. We would run 5-7 miles together along the Lake and take a rest in the shade before coming home. He was living his best life and I could take a break!
Last year, when Covid took over, our trips to the lakefront ended. We stuck close to home and found new paths around the neighborhood but it was not the same. I felt out of sorts.
Last night, as I was falling asleep, I thought about the lakefront. I thought about heading back there for a run. I planned it in my head as I drifted off. When I got up this morning, I almost talked myself out of it. I dilly dallied and found things to do rather than getting dressed and going for a run. Then I took a look outside and the sun was coming up. I could see the skyline and feel the pull of the trail. So I leashed up the dog and got in the car.
We drove down to our “spot” and parked. I tried to pay but the box was broken and the app said it was “free” today. Score! With my water bottle on my waist, I turned on my “lakefront playlist” and we headed off for our run.
It.
Was.
Glorious!
I took in everything….every sight, sound and smell! I noticed all that had changed since our last visit. I took pictures both in my head and with my phone!
I am not going to lie and say that this was a perfect run….it was not. I have not run a lot since I broke my arm (nerves!) so there was some walking, some crying and some cursing….but I loved every minute of it!
The small signs along the way were not lost on me….. no traffic, making the greenlights in Irving, the open parking spot, “free” parking, the sailboat named “Namaste”, the phonecall from my kids as I ran, the homeless woman who asked me to stop so she could pet Lucky (she lost her dog “a while back” and missed him), the little girl who shouted, “Hey! I love Girls on the Run” (I was wearing my GOTR shirt….and forgot I had it on until she shouted at me!)…..the list goes on and on. I am a firm believer in signs and angels….and today they were out in full force, letting me know that this was exactly where I needed to be as well as what my heart and soul needed.
Over a year ago, I took that last run for granted and today vowed never to let that happen again. I will not take the glorious views of the city and lake for granted ever again.
Today was a reminder to trust my instincts and take chances. Today was a reminder what grounds me. Today was a reminder of how far I have come, the moments and things I cherish as well as how much I have left to accomplish in this world.
My motto is #forwardisapace and I will always move forward. I move forward with my feet firmly grounded on the Earth, my heart full of love, and my soul full of peace.
Peace
#tutulady
#forwardisapace

Award

Kristine Binder

6 years ago I attended a benefit event at the Drake Hotel for Girls on the Run. I would be presented with the Superstar Award for Outstanding Coach at the event. What I did not know is that it would be a night that would change my life forever….just as Girls on the Run has changed the lives of countless girls.
Several weeks prior I had bought a dress on sale. The dress was a total splurge….even on sale for $30! At that time, I never bought things for myself much less a fancy dress! I was not allowed to spend money of “frivolous” things. I felt so good in that dress, so beautiful and powerful. That dress still hangs in my closet waiting to be worn again.
I did my own hair and then my daughter and I drove into the city to Barney’s to visit one of my best friends. My friend is a makeup artist and had never done my makeup before, heck, I had never had anyone do my makeup before! When she was finished, I felt so beautiful!
She also did makeup for my 16 year old daughter, who was my date for the evening. My daughter, who was my first girl on the run and the reason I started coaching the program. My daughter who deserved a fancy night out with her momma.
We arrived at the Drake greeted by valet parking and cocktail hour. I felt so special….and out of place.
I felt like I didn’t belong. I was instantly transported back to the grade school girl who never fit in and was always teased. The girl in high school that struggled with her looks and never felt like an “insider.” The college girl that drank to forget feeling left out.
I took a deep breath and, like a gut punch, it hit me. I was everything I was teaching girls NOT to be…….. I was a woman married to an unfaithful, abusive man.
I went to the bathroom to catch my breath and fix my makeup. I put on my new lipstick, plastered a smile on my face and headed in the the event to join my daughter. I was going to make the best of this night, celebrate Girls on the Run and this accomplishment.
During the day and into the evening, my wasband was texting me. He anger and jealousy was palpable. I was not “effectively managing” my children by going out for the evening, leaving my oldest daughter (18 at the time)in charge. He had been invited but had refused to take the night off work. Seeing me get an award was just too much for him to handle. And, looking back, I am so grateful he was not there.
My daughter and I had a wonderful dinner and I was able to teach her how a live auction works! She tried mightily to get me to bid on things that were well out of our price range but a girl can dream, right?!
After the auction, it was time for the presentation of awards. When my name was called, I walked to the stage, feeling weak in the knees. I straightened my spine, smiled, and stepped up to accept the award, graciously thanking the presenter. As I walked back to my seat I made a decision. It was a decision that would change the course of my future and the future of my children. I made a choice to be done.
I wanted out but didn’t know how to get out. I wanted to leave my marriage but didn’t know how or when it would happen. I was sad and lonely and in pain. I really was done.
I wanted to find a way out and that night showed me that I needed to find a way. I could not preach self love and empowerment to others all while living a lie of abuse and self hate.
I went through the motions in my marriage for a few more months. Soon enough, the lie I was living exploded. I mustered the courage to confront my wasband. I asked him to make a choice….our family and marriage or his “other life.” He wanted both. I knew that would never work so after a few weeks, I secretly met with a lawyer and filed for divorce.
Don’t get me wrong, I did the “pick me” dance for weeks, begging him to give us a second chance. I waited up all night for him to come home night after night only for him to ignore me or fight with me when he finally arrived. His contempt and indifference was something I will never forget. He taunted me repeatedly with, “I will never agree to a divorce…”, “You will never go through with it….you don’t have the guts….”, “Shut up! You will wake the kids….” and “Think about others would you?! She has small kids! Keep your mouth shut….” Over and over…..night after night….until he was served.
For years, every week I taught my Girls on the Run teams lessons in empowerment and self-esteem. What I failed to realize was that I was the one that needed those messages. I was the one that needed to learn to love myself and have confidence in myself. I needed to find the woman I had stuffed down deep inside me. I needed to be my own outstanding coach.
We never know what will turn the tide in our life. We never know when we will be faced with a moment of truth. We never know what moment will be the defining tipping point. However, when that moment does arrive, we need to be brave enough to face an uncertain future and be prepared to ride the waves of change. We have it in us! We just need to dig deep and find it!
We need to be our own SuperStar…..Our Own Outstanding Coach!
Peace
#tutulady
#forwardisapace

Dare

Kristine Binder

“It all started with a dare. Now she wears a pink tutu whenever she runs a marathon. Listen as teacher and life coach Kristine Binder (#tutulady) talks about dealing with anxiety, depression and divorce to inspire girls and women to run the marathon of life.”
Show notes from episode #16 of the Dream Highway podcast

In this episode of the Dream Highway Podcast, host Steve Pedersen and I discuss running, coaching, the LGBTQIA+ community, Girls on the Run and my book, The Lemonade Stand. We talk about faith, acceptance, belonging, shame, vulnerability, as well as dreams and goal setting.
Tune In to learn where we find strength, grace and peace in our current climate that contains so much negativity and division! Be sure to listen and leave a comment!
Available where ever you listen to podcasts!
http://bit.ly/DreamHighwayPodcast