As we end 2022 (a number I LOVE for obvious reasons!), it is time to reflect. Reflection is good as it prepares us to look forward heading into the new year. Below are some reflection questions that I will be answering in the next 2 days. I would love your thoughts on any one of these questions or all of them.
What is one challenge that you’ve overcome this year? What accomplishment are you most proud of this year? What’s the best book you read this year? What’s the best podcast you listened to this year? What made you the happiest this year? Who’s the person you couldn’t have gotten through this year without? What is one goal you have for the new year? What are you most fearful of/nervous about in the coming year? What are you most looking forward to in the new year? What word or phrase will you take into the new year with you?
I look forward to reading your responses and the venturing into the new year with you all!
Today started out as a day of giving and turned into a day of receiving. I dropped my son at work, got a snack and headed to Evanston hospital to donate blood. There was an urgent need for the victims of the Highland Park tragedy so I signed up. Giving blood is how I help when I feel helpless. I chose to take the advice of my friend Julie and wear my Free Mom Hugs shirt. Entering the hospital, I got a few looks from people. Soon I was seated in the donation chair and one of the phlebotomists said, “I like your shirt!” “Thanks! Need a hug?” “Really?” I nod. “Sure…” She says. So before I get hooked up to all the machines, I give her a big hug. She smiles and says thanks. As she is removing needle, one of the other women says, “11:11! Make a wish! That was your official finish time!” I laugh and she then pulls out the pink bandage…it was like they knew me! We 3 chatted while I recovered and then I left. I walked toward the exit and an elderly man said, “Really? Hugs?” “Yup! Want one?” “Well I guess so….” And we did sort of side hug as that was what he could manage with his cane. “That was really nice. Thank you.” And he shuffled away. Once I left the hospital I was feeling all sorts of things. So, I decided to take a drive. I found myself driving around the Northwestern Campus. As an homage to my old man, I clicked on my old school Spotify playlist and the soothing sounds of Billie Holiday filled the air. I gazed you the window at the old and new buildings. So much has changed over the years. I wound up in the older part of Evanston and grabbed a coffee. I treated myself to a fancy lavender latte (at the suggestion of the barista). “Do you really give hugs?” “Yes! I love it!” She took my payment and directed me to coffee pick up. While I was waiting, she walked around the counter and, “Can I have a hug?” “SURE!” and we hugged in a café full of people. She said thanks and went back to work, handing me my coffee. I got back in my car and headed home….the long way….along Sheridan Road, past the Baha’i Temple, Lake Michigan and beautiful homes all the while listening to old jazz and my girl Billie filling up my heart. Today was a reminder of my many gifts. A reminder of my blessings. A reminder of times gone by. I keep hoping that my daily excursions…. giving some hugs, spreading a little kindness and putting some love back into the universe…. create a little more peace for others. It certainly soothes my soul and replenishes my spirit. Peace. #tutulady #forwardisapace
I woke up feeling a bit melancholy. 4th of July at my parents home is always nostalgic. I total throwback to a simpler time. This year the golf cart parade was smaller than ever and there was a float that had Christian nationalism on full display. That has NEVER happened before. The people in red, white, and blue were in smaller numbers this year. Then I heard about what happened in Highland Park. I was worried for my friends, victims and all involved. I’m so tired. I’m tired of the divisiveness in this country. I’m tired of the mass shootings. I’m tired less rights than a man and less rights than a gun. I’m all for individual political and religious beliefs but the divide seems like it is too wide now. This country is headed down a dangerous path and I’m worried about our future.
I will begin with a trigger warning. *This post contains opinions on abortion. *This post contains opinions on faith and religion. *This post contains facts that may change your perception of me. ****** All that being said, it is time. I have authored this post over and over again in my head for years. I have thought about the way in which I wanted to tell my story. I have talked myself out of sharing this time and time again ….. mostly due to shame. Over 30 years ago, I had an abortion. Full stop. The story of how and why…those are mine to own. I do not have to share my reasons with anyone. I share those parts with those who deserve the details. I live with the choice I made each and every day. To dismiss my choice by saying it was the easy way out is to not understand the weight and gravity of the choice. I remember every part of the events leading up to and after the day of my appointment. There are certain sounds and smells that trigger the memories when I least expect it. It was one of the most difficult things I have ever done in my whole life……and I went alone. I lived with my secret for years out of shame from my church, from my friends and my family. I was raised Catholic and taught Catholic school for over 20 years. Once I got married and had more children, I raised them Catholic. I went to mass every week and I prayed every day for forgiveness. But the longer I stayed and prayed, I could not escape the nagging feeling that the God I loved thought less of me because of my choice as a young woman. The God, the Jesus, the Mary that I pray to each day were ones that believe in forgiveness. I just needed to forgive myself. Not for having the abortion….but for allowing the church and others to make me feel ashamed for the choice I made. Once I forgave myself, I made another choice. The choice to leave a church that preaches shame over empathy, condemnation over acceptance and hypocrisy over sincerity. I have written before about my faith. My faith is steadfast and strong. I still pray daily, but I pray to the loving, accepting God that I believe created each of us in their image. I live with the choice I made every single day. But here’s the thing….I HAD A CHOICE. I had a choice because the government recognized that the choice is personal and should be made with a medical professional not a priest, pastor or politician. I am fortunate enough to live in a state that protects a woman’s right to choose but I fear for my children, especially my daughters. They now live in a country with less reproductive rights than I had at their age. The reasons a woman would choose to have an abortion are as individual and unique as each woman. Each and every woman should have agency over her own health and choices. I realize that finally sharing my story opens me up to criticism and commentary. I am ok with that. If the fact that I had an abortion in my 20’s changes the way you feel about me, well then that is your choice to make and I respect that choice. I will always help those who need support. I will always be a safe space and place for any woman. I will always support a woman’s right to choose. Peace. #tutulady #forwardisapace
Kristine Binder 