Tag: single mom

Dreams

Kristine Binder

When I was little, I didn’t dream about a wedding. I didn’t plan out my future husband’s name or picture a white dress. While other girls were playing “bride,” I was cradling my dolls, changing their tiny outfits, and rocking them to sleep. I wasn’t playing house—I was playing mom.
Motherhood was always the dream.
As I got older, that didn’t change. I loved babies, and I mothered any child I could. My nephews and niece? I doted on them, cared for them, and soaked up every moment. Holding them, feeding them, soothing them—it felt natural. Right. Like I had stepped into a role that had always been meant for me.
Marriage, on the other hand? That was never part of the picture. It wasn’t that I was against it, but it simply wasn’t what I longed for. Some people dream of love stories, wedding bells, and the perfect partner. I dreamed of cradling a baby in my arms, of hearing the word “Mom” spoken with love and trust.
But life has a way of surprising us.
I did get married. I prayed for the white-picket-fence life—the partnership, the shared responsibilities, the happily ever after. But that’s not what I got. Instead, I got another child and most of the housework. I became a mother in every sense of the word, to my children and, in many ways, to my husband too. The marriage I envisioned—the one filled with teamwork and equal weight—never quite materialized.
And maybe that’s because I was never meant to be a wife.
But even as a mother—the one role I always knew I was meant for—I haven’t been perfect. I haven’t always been the mom I imagined myself being. I have made mistakes, ones that weigh heavy on my heart. There are moments I wish I could go back and change, things I would have done differently if I had known then what I know now.
Hindsight is always 20/20.
I know mistakes were made, but I’ve also learned from them. Instead of letting them define me, I’ve chosen to forgive myself and do better. To be better. Motherhood isn’t about perfection—it’s about growth, love, and showing up, even when you don’t get it right.
Is there psychology behind all of this? Maybe. Maybe it was the desire to love and be loved unconditionally. Maybe it was the innate pull to nurture, to protect, to guide. Or maybe—just maybe—I was simply born to be a mom.
And I truly believe that’s enough.
Some people are meant to be partners first. Others are meant to chase careers, passions, or adventures. Me? I was meant to be a mom. That was always my purpose, my calling, my heart’s greatest wish.
Peace,
#tutulady
#forwardisapace

Openness

Kristine Binder

I have always believed that honesty—about our struggles, our joys, our fears, our wins, and even our messiness—creates connection. When we share openly, we allow others to know that they are not alone. And in a world that can feel isolating, that matters more than we realize.
Recently, I’ve had three different people reach out to me about posts I’ve made—posts I had no idea had such an impact. They told me that something I shared inspired them, made them feel seen, helped them find their own strength, or simply reminded them that there are safe spaces in this world. They didn’t “like” the post. They didn’t comment. But they saw it. They felt it. And when they were ready, they reached out privately. 
That’s the thing about sharing our truth: we never really know who needs to hear it.
Sometimes, we post something and feel like it disappears into the void, but I promise you—it doesn’t. People see, they absorb, and they carry those words with them. Maybe they’re not in a place where they can respond, but they’re listening. They’re processing. And when the moment comes, when they need that reminder that they’re not alone, they’ll remember…and they may reach out.
I share my story and my thoughts because I want people to know that this world still holds kindness, still holds love, still holds safe spaces. That it’s okay to struggle. That strength doesn’t always look like perfection. That we are all walking this crazy path together….and if you need to know someone is (or has been) sitting in the same shit, I am here. 
So if you’ve ever hesitated to share something real—whether it’s a hard truth, a personal victory, or just a moment of vulnerability—remember that your voice might be the one that helps someone else find theirs. Keep being open. Keep showing up. You never know who you’re reaching. I know I will!
Peace,
#tutulady
#forwardisapace

59

Kristine Binder

Today is my birthday, and as I celebrate another trip around the sun, I’ve been reflecting on the countless lessons life has taught me. From the deepest heartaches to the most glittery triumphs, here are 60 lessons I’ve learned so far – with a few bonus ones sprinkled in because, well, why not? Life is too short not to add a little extra sparkle.

59 Life Lessons I’ve Learned:

  1. Love isn’t always simple, but it’s always worth it.
  2. Grief doesn’t go away; it transforms. You learn to weave it into the fabric of your life.
  3. A wagging tail can remind you that joy often comes in the simplest moments and that love is unconditional.
  4. Kindness is the quietest revolution, but the most powerful one.
  5. Pink isn’t just a color; it’s an attitude.
  6. You can’t pour from an empty cup, so fill it with what fuels your soul.
  7. Glitter isn’t just an accessory; it’s a way of life.
  8. The best ideas often begin with a whisper of possibility.
  9. Showing up for the people you love is the ultimate act of courage.
  10. Life’s too short not to create your own moments of magic.
  11. Outgrowing things doesn’t mean failure; it’s a sign of growth.
  12. The art of saying no is the art of protecting your peace.
  13. Often, a hug speaks volumes and no words are needed.
  14. Dancing in the kitchen is sometimes better than a  grand celebration.
  15. Losing someone reshapes you, but their love stays alive in your heart forever.
  16. There’s nothing quite like getting lost in the pages of a good book.
  17. Keep showing up. Consistency is underrated but transformative.
  18. Sunrises are whispers from the universe, reminding you to begin again.
  19. Hope isn’t just a mindset; it’s a daily practice.
  20. Lead with joy. It’s infectious in the best way.
  21. The mirror reflects your only competition. Be better than you were yesterday.
  22. A great joke or a belly laugh can feel like a tiny miracle.
  23. Sometimes, the best therapy is a run (or walk) in fresh air.
  24. Heartbreak is life’s way of reshaping your heart for something bigger.
  25. Gratitude makes even the smallest moments bigger.
  26. Helping others lights a fire within you.
  27. Tears can be soul-cleansing.
  28. Growth often comes from the messiest chapters of life.
  29. Fear isn’t an enemy; it’s an indicator of something worth pursuing.
  30. Music has the power to mend what words cannot.
  31. Advocating for what’s right is rarely easy, but it’s always worthwhile.
  32. Celebrate the small victories; they’re the foundation of success.
  33. A hot cup of tea can soothe both body and soul.
  34. Hard days will come, but so will better ones. Hold on.
  35. Community is the backbone of a life well-lived. Find yours.
  36. A tutu isn’t just an outfit; it’s an unapologetic declaration of joy.
  37. Magic is hidden in the smallest, quietest moments. Seek it out.
  38. You can’t fix everything, but you can always show up.
  39. Forgiveness and making amends liberates you more than anyone else.
  40. A handwritten note can change someone’s day. Write them often.
  41. Being present is the greatest gift you can offer.
  42. Leap before you’re ready; trust the net will appear.
  43. Listen with your whole heart; it’s the key to connection.
  44. Reinvention isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity.
  45. Love and loss are intertwined. Embrace both.
  46. Rewrite your story as often as you need to. You hold the pen.
  47. A candlelit evening at home can be as magical as a night out.
  48. Sometimes, the best journeys are the ones you take with music as your only guide.
  49. The most meaningful work often happens in silence.
  50. Let people know they matter; never leave it unsaid.
  51. Love…just love. Let love lead. 
  52. A touch of glitter makes everything feel more festive.
  53. Surround yourself with those who fan your flames, not extinguish them.
  54. Life’s messy, beautiful, and worth every second.
  55. There’s a unique magic in the rhythm of waves; spending time near the water soothes the mind, heals the soul, and reminds us of life’s endless ebb and flow.
  56. The most extraordinary moments are often wrapped in ordinary days.
  57. Joy is an act of rebellion. Choose it every day.
  58. Resume virtues may build a career, but eulogy virtues—kindness, integrity, love, and generosity—are what truly create a meaningful and unforgettable life.
  59. Love is love is love is love is love, infinite and transformative; it has the power to heal, uplift, empower, inspire, and remind us of the beauty and light within us all.

    Here’s to another year of learning, loving, and living life with all the sparkle, grief, laughter, and tutus it has to offer. Thanks for being part of my journey. Now, let’s celebrate!

    Peace,
    #tutulady
    #forwardisapace

Choose

Kristine Binder

Every morning, I take a walk. Sometimes it’s with my dog, but yesterday, it was just me. It was warm out as I rounded the corner to head back home. I noticed a young man who seemed a bit overwhelmed.
As I crossed the street and got closer, I asked if he needed any help, assuring him that I wasn’t trying to be creepy, just helpful. He looked at me and started to tear up. I felt horrible and quickly said, “Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry. Are you okay?” He explained that he was having a rough morning because he was starting a new job and was extremely nervous. Tears fell as he tried to wipe the sweat off his face. I pulled a napkin out of my pocket and helped him, since his hands were full.
I then asked where he was headed and if he’d like some company on the rest of his walk, since I was headed home. He said yes, and we walked and talked. He shared his worries about the new job and some personal stories. I listened and empathized.
When we arrived at the entrance to his new workplace, I wished him good luck and we said our goodbyes. As I walked the rest of the way home, I was filled with so many emotions.
There are no coincidences, only God incidents. We are put where we are needed; we just need to be aware. We never know what people are going through, and sometimes a simple act of kindness can make a life-changing difference.
Choose Kindness.
Choose Love.
Peace.
#tutulady
#forwardisapace

Lost

Kristine Binder

There are days when I focus on what I lost and days when I focus on all I gained. The good usually outweighs the bad, but some days I still wonder…
As a parent, I often found myself lost in the divorce process without any clear direction of my own. This lack of direction led me to miss out on precious opportunities and strained the relationships I had with my children. The old adage, “if you can see it, you can be it,” didn’t seem to apply to me. All I could see were my own flaws, inadequacies, and unresolved traumas. I had no one to turn to, no role model to guide me on how to be a better parent or even how to just be. In this process, I feel I failed my children and lost a part of them.
Watching my kids grow up and become independent has been both a source of immense pride and a bittersweet reminder of the time and connection I feel I lost. Our job as parents is to create independent adults who can navigate the world on their own, and in this, I believe I succeeded. I am incredibly proud of each of my children. They have grown into wonderfully productive and amazing adults. However, I often wish their growth had happened in a more nurturing and supportive environment rather than under the pressures and challenges we faced.
I can’t help but wonder how different things might have been. Would our relationships be stronger if circumstances had been different? Perhaps. But perhaps something else would have strained our bonds. It’s impossible to know for sure. What I do know is that once I was able to ‘just be their mom,’ I did my best with the tools and knowledge I had.
Parenting is a journey without a definitive guidebook. Each of us stumbles through it even in the best of circumstances, learning as we go, often making mistakes along the way. I have made many, and for those, I will continue to apologize. My hope is that someday, my children will offer me grace and forgiveness. In the meantime, I hold onto the moments of connection and the pride I feel for the incredible individuals they are and have become.
I realize that every parent faces their own struggles and triumphs. It’s easy to focus on the losses and the “what ifs”, but it’s equally important to acknowledge the gains and the growth. My children’s resilience and success are testaments to their strength and the unwavering love that I have always had, and always will have, for them. And for that, I am profoundly grateful.
Peace,
#tutulady
#forwardisapace