Tag: single mom

Entitled

Kristine Binder

This morning, I went out for a run by myself. It was my own neighborhood, broad daylight, at 6am. As I waited to cross the street at a crosswalk, a car turned right in front of me. A man in a Honda SUV rolled down his passenger side window, looked at me, and said, “Can I ask you something?” I looked at him, confused, and said, “Excuse me?”
He asked again, “Can I ask you something?” I said nothing, and then he said, “Are you single? You’re hot!”
I glared at him with dagger eyes and said, “What the fuck is wrong with you?!” He smiled and sped off.
This is what women deal with on a daily basis in society: men thinking they can roll up on women and talk to them just because they’re men. I didn’t want to be bothered while I was on a run, but this man took it upon himself to not only interrupt me but to think that he was entitled to my attention.
This is misogyny. This is male entitlement.
This is the world women live in—one of constant fear of men who feel entitled. Misogyny isn’t just about overt hostility or discrimination; it’s about the pervasive, everyday encounters that remind women of their place in a male-centered society. It’s the entitlement that some men feel, believing they have the right to invade a woman’s personal space, disrupt her peace, and impose their desires on her. This toxic entitlement often extends beyond gender, affecting anyone who doesn’t fit into the narrow mold of hetero-normative, cisgender men, including those of different religions, LGBTQIA individuals, and anyone who looks different.
Running should be a simple, peaceful activity, but for women, it often comes with the added burden of dealing with unwanted attention and harassment. What should be a moment of personal freedom and health becomes overshadowed by the fear of what might happen next. This fear isn’t irrational; it’s rooted in countless experiences where a common activity turns unsafe.
This morning’s encounter is just one of countless instances where women are forced to confront the reality of misogyny and male entitlement head-on. It’s exhausting, infuriating, and, unfortunately, all too common.
All I wanted was to go for a run to release some stress and gain some sanity. What I got was another reminder that no place is completely safe for women, or anyone other than hetero-normative men.
Acknowledging these challenges is the first step toward change. By sharing our experiences and refusing to stay silent, we can push for a world where everyone can feel safe and respected, no matter where they are or what they’re doing.
Has something like this ever happened to you? What have you done? How have you handled it in the moment and the aftermath?
Peace
#tutulady
#forwardisapace

75

Kristine Binder

75
HARD?
Yeah, that’s just not my vibe. I mean, who’s got time to hit the gym twice a day? And don’t even get me started on chugging a gallon of water without access to a bathroom all day. It’s like setting yourself up for dehydration disaster.
Sure, I dig non-fiction reads, but my brain craves a good fiction fix too. Variety keeps it sharp, you know? And sticking to a diet with zero cheats? Nah, I’m all about balance. That kind of rigidity just breeds other unhealthy habits.
So, I decided to craft my own version of a 75-day challenge, something a bit more sassy and serene for the upcoming summer. Starting March 4th, ending May 18, a week before Memorial Day, I will be all about embracing a lifestyle that’s both fabulous, fit and chill.
The stuff on my list? Well, they’re things I aim to do every day anyway, but sometimes life gets in the way. So here is the Sassy and Serene list:
*Work out: 10,000 steps & 15 minutes of weights every day
*Diet: Prioritize protein and greens
*Read: Read a book before bed rather than scrolling
*Water: Drinking enough water so that “things” are clear-ish
*Breathing: 5 minutes of breath work each day
*Connection: Reaching out to a friend off socials once a week
*Alcohol: Beverage choice based on personal preference rather than societal influence.
*Rest: Prioritize rest and sleeping
*Self Talk: Talk to ourselves as we talk to a best friend – Supportive and Straightforward
*Progress: Feelings and Fit. How does the body feel and how do the clothes fit?
By putting it out there for everyone to see, I’m holding myself accountable. Plus, it’d be awesome if some of you joined in too!
Ready to strut into summer with a whole new level of sass and serenity? Count me in, and I hope you’re on board too! Let’s make this summer one to remember.
Peace.
#tutulady
#forwardisapace

58

Kristine Binder

As I embark on another journey around the sun this week, I find myself reflecting on the 58 years I’ve spent on this planet. Last year, I shared 57 lessons I had learned, and while those remain true, I want to add one more:

58. Embrace the journey. Every twist, turn, and detour has its purpose.

This past year, I’ve truly embraced the journey. I welcomed people into my life and into my home, I let some of those same people(and others) go, I encouraged my children to spread their wings despite my fears, I took advantage of opportunities that scared me for all sorts of reasons from anxiety to financial, I took charge of situations that, had I not ‘done the work’ I would never have been capable of handling, I broke and I healed (more than once),  set new boundaries, and discovered the joy of my own company.
Getting older isn’t easy—it comes with its challenges. Yet, it’s also liberating. I have learned so much about myself, my life and my past that as I move forward, I have made peace with it all. Every day I see people that are so afraid of the aging process from skin to trauma. They fight for relevance and importance. If I died today, I would be ok with it. I am at peace with where I am in life and who I am. I know that I have made a lasting impact on this world. I also know that life will go on once I am gone….and I am really ok with that fact. 
Being at peace requires inner work—acceptance, love, letting go of the past, and acknowledging accomplishments. Yes, I still grapple with struggles; I’m only human. Surrounding myself with empowering women and seeking therapy keeps me accountable, fostering continual growth.
The next year is a mystery, and I’ve started it by manifesting new and exciting things. With an open heart and mind, I eagerly anticipate the lessons this year will bring.  What lesson will I learn this year to add to the list…..who knows, but let’s get started! Here’s to the journey ahead!
Peace,
#tutulady
#forwardisapace

Masters

Kristine Binder

I did it! After dedicating over three decades to teaching and repeatedly uttering the word ‘Never’ in relation to pursuing a Master’s Degree, I can proudly say that I’ve accomplished it. Not only did I earn my Master’s, but I also secured an additional ESL endorsement on my teaching license. In the spring, in a full cap and gown, I will receive my diploma…something I have not done since 1988!
When I initially started my teaching journey, a Master’s Degree wasn’t deemed crucial by many. So, I held off. I convinced myself that I didn’t really need it. Financial constraints entered the picture when I got married, making it a practical conversation. Affording it seemed impossible, and even if I did manage, the compensation wouldn’t have made a significant difference, not to mention the lengthy time it would take to recover the expenses. Thus, I pushed the idea out of my mind.
About a year and a half ago, my network presented teachers with the opportunity to join a cohort and attain an ESL endorsement. Intrigued, I took the chance. The experience not only enriched my teaching methods but also brought to light a level of expertise that I had forgotten I possessed, benefiting younger teachers.
Upon completion, I found myself yearning for more. I decided it was time to do something for myself, something solely for me. I enrolled in additional classes, covering the costs myself, to pursue my Master’s Degree. It turned out to be a transformative journey, enhancing not only my teaching skills but also my coaching practice. I gained certifications as a mediator and a certified divorce and family mediator. I delved into the realm of video production, enriching both my business and teaching methods.
This phase of my life feels like a manifestation of my dreams and the achievement of goals I once thought were impossible. So much has changed, and I’m eager to embrace the upcoming year filled with even more greatness!
Peace,
#tutulady
#forwardisapace

Eight

Kristine Binder

Eight.
Eight years ago I wrote what would become my last ‘family’ Christmas letter. I did not know at the time it would be my last letter, but what I did know is that my family was in the process of falling apart. For the previous 20 years I had written yearly letters that people would tell me that they anticipated receiving each year. Each year I would write a small paragraph about family updates and the remainder of the letter was about the true spirit of the season. 
I went back to reread that last letter and was brought right back to that time in my life. “Emmanuel….God with us. Emmanuel …God with me. This year there were plenty of times I wondered if God was with us or with me. As the world seems to become more and more unstable, I wonder where God is. I long to feel his presence in the chaos of the world and my own life.
This year was about trust, faith and finding God. As my children grow and change, I need to trust in my faith that they will find their path and find God on their own terms. I have to trust in my faith, finding God in my changing world as well. When the Angel Gabriel came to Mary she let go of the “why me” and looked to “what now?”. Desperate times call for desperate faith.  Fear did not hold her hostage or paralyze her faith. Mary had faith in God’s plan and found strength in his words.  She trusted that while she may not completely understand the path she would take, she just needed to put one foot in front of the other and let God show her the way. The angel Gabriel told Mary her son would be called Emmanuel, meaning God with us.  God wanted to immerse himself in our world to experience our fear, pain, and joy so that we could know his power, his wisdom, his forgiveness and his love.  Jesus, born that holy night long ago, is Emmanuel, God with us, Hope of the world. He is the Grace that saves us and the Love that heals us. He is the reminder that we are never alone.  God is at work in and around us. We may not see his hand, hear his voice, or understand his process but we can rest assured that he is leading the way…..Emmanuel. God IS with us.
During this season of Christmas, follow Mary’s example turning the “why me’s’ into “what now’s” Have faith in God’s plan for your life, finding strength in His word. Put one foot in front of the other letting God lead the way. Celebrate Emmanuel, God with us …and in you. May your new year be filled with gratitude, grace, happiness, opportunity, faith and peace.”
Over the last 8 years, a lot has transformed, yet a significant portion of my life remains unchanged. I’ve made some choices I am not proud of  and uttered words that I deeply wish I could retract, particularly in matters concerning my children. Conversely, I’ve also made decisions that fill me with immense pride, unearthing reservoirs of strength I never knew existed within me. Enduring years of therapy, delving into my emotions, and understanding the root causes of my behaviors have fundamentally altered me to my core. I’ve come to accept that I can’t alter the past, but what I can do is extract valuable lessons from it and move forward  in the best way possible. Observing the evolution of my own family during this 8-year span fills me with pride and directs my focus toward the future. When I first spoke to the court-appointed child advocate 8 years ago, my only request was simple: that my children stay together and receive the necessary therapy, regardless of what that looked like at the time. My foremost desire has always been for my children to lean on and rely on each other. Witnessing them now, they’ve become each other’s anchors and closest confidants. They may still fight fierce battles like cats and dogs, but they’ve also emerged as each other’s most steadfast 
Now that they have all gone off and are creating lives of their own, I cherish the small moments we spend together. I often take a step back, inhale deeply, and watch them together, thinking I am the luckiest mom on the planet. I really am so blessed as I continue to follow Mary’s example of “what now” continuously putting one foot in front of the other letting God lead the way. May your new year be filled with gratitude, grace, happiness, opportunity, faith and peace.
Peace
#tutulady
#forwardisapace