Blog

Suck

Kristine Binder
Runner and guide tethered together for safety.

“I hate running. It sucks ass…”
That was the text I get from a friend while out on my run today. As I finished reading her text, a runner and his guide passed me on the street moving at a pretty good clip, so much so that I barely got a photo of them. For those who are not aware, guides help impaired (visually, hearing, physically, etc)runners go for runs outside safely.
My friend was out for a run today too (hers much longer distance than mine, but I digress!) So I texted her the photo and wrote that yes, some days running sucks and some days running is good. Every day running makes us cry…sometimes good reasons and sometimes not so great ones. Embrace the suck today. Head up, shoulders back, it will be over soon.
We need to just embrace the suck and power through those runs. We need those sucky runs to appreciate the good ones.
It is the same with life. Not every day is sunshine, roses, unicorns and rainbows. Some days just inhaling and exhaling is a chore. Some days everything goes right and all the pieces fall into place effortlessly. Some days it all falls apart, we may lose critical pieces and Ikea furniture assembly is easier than our life. We have to learn to embrace it all. That DOES NOT mean we have to like it! We can yell and scream and complain…..we can sit in that suck for a bit but then we get up and move forward.
We need those crappy days in life in order to appreciate the good ones. We need the ability reach the high places in order to gain the perspective and know what is possible on the other side of the sucky low place.
I continued my run with open eyes and an open heart. I saw a cardinal (“Cardinals appear when angels are near”) that seemed to follow me for a bit. I saw a father and his young son playing on the baseball diamond. I took a break with my furry running buddy to allow him some “fetch” time on the tennis courts. Sidenote, we should all be as happy as this little pup gets when he is sprinting after his ball. I finished with a run through a sprinkler to cool off(something I usually avoid!).
Not every day is going to be great. Not every day is going to suck. Embrace each day for what it is. Find the small, good things because just like a run, it will eventually end. Eventually the run will be done and the day will end. Head up, shoulders back, embrace the suck. Tomorrow is a new day!
Peace,
#tutulady
#forwardisapace

Update

Kristine Binder

Last month I was asked to write an update about my like since The Lemonade Stand Book was published for a magazine. Below is what was published as well as a link to the magazine.

If someone had told me all of the changes that would happen to me in one year…that I  would connect with some amazing women, write my story and become a bestselling author, I would have told them they were silly ….but a lot can change in a year! 
In the spring of 2019 a high school friend of mine invited me to be a part of a book project. She had been following me on social media and knew part of my story. She said that this was a perfect opportunity to share my stories, inspiring others, as I had inspired her. 
Well, through her insistence, I connected with the publisher and editor multiple times. I gave them every excuse not to be a part of the project and they had a response for each one!  I had recently started a new business. The additional investment of this project scared me to death. They soon helped me realize I was investing in myself and my future. We then created a financial plan that worked for me and my budget. 
Once I took that initial step forward, it was all downhill from there. The scariest part was over!  Ok, that is not really the truth but I had taken the first step on a journey that would further change the course of my life. 
Forward is a pace has long been my motto. It matters not how fast I am going as long as I am moving forward. One step was leading to the next as I moved forward. 
Step two was actually putting the words on paper and writing out my story. Once I sat down and got centered, the words flowed out like water, flooding the pages. It was one of the most cathartic experiences of my life!  Putting my story on paper was like opening the curtains and letting the light into a room that had been dark for far too long. I think I had forgotten the feeling of the warm sunshine on my face, the freedom that comes with sharing what has been hidden. The freedom that comes with sharing the truth . Oftentimes the reason that truth is hidden is because, like in my case, it was not pretty. 
Step three was allowing my own children to read what I had written. This was difficult. I am always careful about sharing parts of my life as this directly affects my children. They are now young adults, each having their own narratives and lives, thus they are affected indirectly. Once they approved, I hit send for the final time!
Women are powerful when we believe in ourselves and each other. We are unstoppable when we channel our energy towards a positive purpose. 
I leaned heavily on the women who had been in this space before as we moved  throughout the process, bringing this project to completion. Once the book was released, it became a bestseller! I was overwhelmed and overjoyed! 
How has this process and the past year changed me? Well, with the pandemic and all the changes that have accompanied it, the trajectory of the school year and my life have been drastically altered! Having the experience and confidence with the book project,  allowed me the freedom to grow my brand. Prior to the shutdown, I had the opportunity to speak to women’s groups about the book and my story which ignited a new fire within me. I used the time during lockdown to create and release my own website. I am currently in the process of developing and launching my own personal empowerment coaching business, learning new things daily from my “Lemonade Sisters”  
I was fearful to open myself up to this new opportunity. I realized that by sharing my story, I gave others permission to do the same. I have been contacted by many people who were not aware of my journey. They shared the ways in which they were inspired by my bravery, honesty, and vulnerability. 
I have learned to believe in myself and my potential. I continue to take risks and trust myself. I am a firm believer in God-incidences. I believe that God brought me to this project so that I could learn and grow, becoming more confident, all while inspiring others. It is no accident that these women have become a strong support system and lift me up when I lose my way. 
I made myself a promise long ago that I will always move forward, no matter how fast or slow. I have spent the past year moving forward, navigating each detour, moving over every speed bump, and pulling myself out of each ditch along the way. I have put myself back on the road forward….with the help of my newfound confidence and help from some friends. No matter what happens moving forward, I will always be putting one foot in front of the other inspiring others to do the same. 
Peace,
#tutulady
#forwardisapace
To read the whole issue of the magazine, click HERE

Should

Kristine Binder


I SHOULD go to college.
I SHOULD move home.
I SHOULD take the job.
I SHOULD date the guy.
I SHOULD get married.
I have been ‘Shoulding” all over myself for years. I bought the message that I SHOULD do what others wanted me to do in order to make THEM happy. I stayed in my lane and did what was expected. My way of thinking I was being a rebel was instead of going to the Big 10 school, I went to the small Catholic College. Instead of moving home for long, I moved into an apartment I could not afford. Instead of taking the job with a public school, I went for the Catholic school that paid nothing. Instead of dating the guys that were stable, I chose the “bad boys” that paid attention to me. Instead of seeing the red flags right in front of me, I ignored them and married the man waving those flags. During my divorce, I SHOULD myself into making decisions I never would have made had I listened to and trusted myself.
I SHOULD myself into so many corners in my life to make others happy and gain their approval.
So I made a choice to stop.
I cleaned up the SHOULD and put it away.
I realized that once I stopped “SHOULDing” on myself, once I started trusting myself, I was happier. I was more fulfilled. It is not easy and it is often scary to trust myself. Honestly, things do not always go as planned and often go wrong but the blame for that lands solely on me.
I also realized that I was “SHOULDing” on my kids. I see them making what appear to me to be mistakes, but I have to allow them the freedom to make those choices and see what happens. Glennon Doyle write in her book Untamed, “A woman becomes a responsible parent when she stops being an obedient daughter.“
I want to be a responsible parent and that means I have to stop SHOULDing on myself to make others happy. I need to stop being the obedient daughter because I want more for me and for my children.
I want my children, now young adults, to make choices based on the fact that they WANT to not because they SHOULD. I want them to be independent decision makers. The SHOULD cycle stops now.
So now when I am faced with a choice, I ask myself, “Am I doing this because I SHOULD do it (to meet someone else’s expectations) or do I WANT to do it(my choice)?” That question alone often stops me in my tracks and helps me refocus…from having a snack (should I eat this because it is lunch time(expected) or am I really hungry(I want it)?) to starting a business (should I do this because she wants me as a business partner or do I want to be a business owner?)
Taking back my WANT and putting away my SHOULD has been one of the biggest changes that has helped me move forward in my life.
Are you SHOULDing all over yourself? Is it time to clean up the SHOULD and take back the WANT? Together we can move forward with less SHOULD and more WANT!
Peace,
#tutulady
#forewardisapace

Fine

Kristine Binder

Yes, those are scars from when a trash can full of sandbags fell on my leg, but that is another story for another day.

“Um….are you ok?”
“Yes….thanks….I’m fine”
That is how the conversation with a the harbormaster went that afternoon.
“Mom….are you ok…..”
“Yes, honey…..I’m fine…..”
That was how the conversation with my 11 year old son went later than day.
“Is there anything else I can do for you? Are you ok?”
“I’m fine thanks….”
That is how the conversation went with the waitress later that evening.
I was fine….really I was sooooo fine.
I had been fine for over 20 years. Just fine. However, on that day….6 years ago, I decided that I didn’t want to be “fine” anymore. I deserved better and so did my kids.
That day was the first time that he screamed at me in public, called me stupid, worthless and a dumb bitch, because I could not back up the jet ski trailer next to the dock. Have you ever tried to backup an old school Suburban with a ‘rack’ (trailer) attached into the water….and you can’t SEE the rack? Yea…..easier to thread a needle on a rollercoaster! I was doing my best but it was not good enough, nor fast enough. Every one of the 4 docks was filled with people and he was screaming at me…..in front of them all….but more importantly, in front of our son. He had berated, teased and yelled at me for years but this was the first time around people other than our family and if I could have crawled deep into a hole, I would have. I was mortified.
The harbor master came to see if we ….I …..needed help. I was fine.
While my wasband secured the jet ski that was finally out of the water, my son sheepishly asked if I was ok. I was fine.
We went to dinner before heading home. After the wasband threw a fit because we could not sit in the bar area due to the fact that our son was under 21, we sat down and ordered. Nothing was good enough and the server steered clear of our table. When she brought the check, she looked me right in the eyes and asked if I was ok. I was fine.
But I was soooo far from fine. I was done.
I was done but I was not strong enough to really be done. That would take several more months….ok several years. I knew something was going on and I needed to figure out if it was me or him.
6 years, a messy divorce, and LOTS of therapy later, here I am. It is not lost on me that the photo above came up on my timehop yesterday….the same day that I became a Certified Professional Life Coach. So much have changed in those 6 years. I am now a badass at boundaries, I am stronger than I ever dreamed possible, and I am so much better than FINE.
My goal has always been to help others, especially women, live their best life….no one should live the life I lived. No one should be abused. No one should be treated as “less than.” No one should ever be just “fine.”
Are you “fine”? Do you want more for yourself and your life than ‘fine’? You deserve better! You deserve to live the life of your dreams! Reach out and connect. I am here to help.
Peace,
#tutulady
#forwardisapace

COACH

Kristine Binder

I did it! I did it!
Weeks and weeks of work.
Studying and reading.
Self reflection and soul searching.
Learning and growing.
This was really an investment in myself and my future that I intend to cultivate and multiple by working with others!
I have worked hard to get certified as a professional life coach, happiness coach and life purpose coach. I am hoping to add additional certifications but for now, this is a giant leap towards my goals.
Let’s work together to Move Forward!
Schedule your free introductory session here….
https://tutulady.org/coaching/
Peace,
#tutulady
#forwardisapace