Tomorrow begins the 14 days of love challenge. For the next 14 days I will leave a note (we’ll now I create images and text them!) for each of my kids with “I love you because…” with a different reason each day. It gets more difficult as the days progress as I try to find reasons I love them that they don’t think I see. Try it with the people you love. Challenge yourself.
Turns out …. I used to think I was crazy. Why? I was made to believe I was crazy. I was told over and over that I was crazy. I was gaslit until I did not know up from down and forward from backward. Turns out…. I used to be an angry, broken woman. Why? I was told over and over that I was angry for no reason and I was broken beyond repair. Turns out…. Life is difficult and glorious and more exciting than I ever realized. Why? I forgot who I was and that I can do hard things like step out of my comfort zone to use the word no. Turns out…. I know more than I ever thought possible once I trust my own knowing. Turns out….. I hold the power to create the beautiful, untamed life I want for others and myself. Turns out…. I am not crazy or angry or broken. Turns out…. I am a GODDAMN CHEETAH.
I was 26. The year was 1992. The photographer was my very own brother. This is the only copy of this photo I have and it was ruined in a flood. The glass has come off in parts but I think it adds to the dimension of the photo. I have always loved this photo so I decided to recreate it with an updated twist to represent the woman I am now…. 30 years later. The year is 2022. I am 56 years old. The pieces are finally coming together. Oh the things I would tell that young woman… the lessons she would learn, the mistakes she would make, the wisdom she would gain. I know we would have been good friends had we known each other then. I’m so proud of that girl for all she has become. Peace #tutulady #forwardisapace
This is 56. This is what …. -negative self talk -not loving myself -fighting -never feeling good enough -never fitting in – surviving and thriving -lessons learned -embracing my uniqueness -inspiring others -loss and gain -tears and laughter -building businesses -stepping into my own power -loving my body. -Saying F**k Yes more often. -love, light and a little go screw yourself -feeling joy-having faith -finding peace ……looks like. This is what life looks like at 56 and let me tell you….. it is AMAZING! Time to kick up my heels and celebrate!
The ten year challenge has been super popular on social media lately. I am not normally one to jump on one of these challenges, but this time? For sure. I took time to reflect on all the has changed over the past 10 years…..and there is a LOT! Here’s a list in not specific order: – 4 kids graduated from high school. – I got divorced (that alone took YEARS to accomplish and years off my life!) – represented myself Pro Se in court several times – I moved 2 different times, downsizing each time! – bought and sold 3 cars of my own (one of my proudest moments was negotiating these deals on my own) – wrote and published a book – started, and currently run, 3 different businesses – ran 9 marathons and countless other races from 5K’s to half marathons – said goodbye to 2 dogs and hello to another – survived a pandemic (and am still playing Frogger with the virus!) – got my CCL (and have since requalified and renewed it!) – got certified as a coach in several different areas – created a support system of women who have surrounded me with love, guided me with wisdom and blessed me with friendship – gained financial control and independence – created a peaceful home and space where people enjoy spending time – developed deeper, more authentic relationships with all 5 of my children – found my own center of gravity, my heart and my soul
There are so many other things to add to the list but these are the biggest changes of which I am most proud. So much can happen in the span of a single year and even more in the span of ten years. When I look at the calendar, a decade does not seem long. But when I look at myself, I realize how long it has been and how far I have come. I cannot change the events which occurred in the last 10 years of my life but I can look back at all the lessons learned that have made me the woman I am today. If someone would have told that overwhelmed, trapped, woman who had lost herself that the next 10 years would lead to the biggest and most dramatic transformation of her life…..she would never have believed it. I lost a great deal over the past 10 years but one thing that never got lost was my hope and my faith. My hope and faith in a higher power, as well as faith that there was a plan for my life have guided my every step so for in my life. I may not always understand that plan nor like it at times, but I trust and believe that the universe has my back. The next 10 years have 120 months and over 3650 days. I intend to make every single one count. Peace #tutulady #forwardisapace