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Stillness

Kristine Binder

This morning, I did something I rarely do: I walked without anything in my ears. No podcast. No music. No audiobook. No phone call. Just… me and the morning.
Okay, to be honest, it wasn’t exactly intentional. I forgot my AirPods!
But maybe the universe knew something I didn’t.
Lately, my world has felt really loud. Overwhelming. So much coming at me from every direction—emotionally, mentally, even physically. Constant noise. Constant motion. I’ve been carrying it all, and this morning? I was tired. I am tired.
I stepped outside into a cool, damp, grey spring morning—a sky that perfectly matched my mood. Grey.
And in that unexpected quiet, something shifted.
Without my usual distractions, I found myself tuning into the world around me. I heard the birds singing layered melodies overhead, the low rumble of distant cars, the rhythmic ding of train gates coming down, and then the whoosh of a passing train. Kids passed by on their way to school—some laughing, some dragging backpacks twice their size. Lucky’s collar jingled beside me in steady time with the sound of my own footsteps.
The sky, though heavy, made everything else stand out more vividly. I spotted a cardinal darting between branches(hi, dad!), squirrels in their usual chaotic hustle, even a few bunnies tucked into the morning quiet. I could smell fresh coffee from the neighborhood café and someone’s breakfast —bacon maybe? Funny how that works. When I tune out, I tune in.
And today, in the stillness, I was able to give my head, heart and soul a break. I was able to catch my breath for a bit. I was able to find a little peace.
Peace,
#tutulady
#forwardisapace

Shoulding

Kristine Binder

Stop ‘Shoulding’ Yourself and Others
It’s been a tough few days. My anxiety is through the roof for a million reasons, and when I stopped to figure out why, the answer was glaringly obvious—I’ve been “shoulding” myself and others into corners and holes.
They should have done this.
They should have done it that way.
I should have gotten that done.
I should have been better.
And on and on… until my brain was so overloaded that my anxiety spiral started spinning faster than the Tasmanian Devil on a sugar rush or a tornado tearing through the Midwest.
And for what? Did all that “shoulding” make anything better? No. It just made me feel worse—exhausted, overwhelmed, and stuck.
I needed this reminder:
Stop ‘shoulding’ yourself and others—it only fuels guilt, frustration, and anxiety. Clinging to ‘should’ keeps you stuck; trade it for peace.
Peace,
#tutulady
#forwardisapace

Capable

Kristine Binder

Recently, a woman I admire deeply looked me straight in the eyes and said:
“One thing I know about you is that you are capable. You are one of the most capable women I know.”
That stopped me in my tracks.
See, little Kristine never really heard that. I have never been made to truly feel like I do things well—or that I do them right. I have spent so much of my life striving for approval, feeling like I was either already in trouble or about to be. The feeling of never being enough, never being good enough, runs deep.
And for a long time, I was terrified that I had unknowingly passed that feeling on to my own children. That they, too, might have inherited this quiet fear of not measuring up. The weight of generational trauma is heavy, and while I can’t undo the past, I can work to break the cycle. I can choose to do better, to be better—not just for myself, but for them.
So hearing someone—someone I look up to—say, out loud, that they see me as capable? That hit deep. Words like that don’t just land; they sink in. They breathe life into parts of me that still need healing.
Healing that inner child takes time. It takes patience. It takes work. But moments like this remind me how powerful it is when we speak truth into others. Because we all have things we need to hear.
So if you see something good in someone—say it.
Affirm them.
Remind them of their strength, their resilience, their capability.
Because you never know which part of their heart needs that reminder. And you never know just how much healing a few honest words can bring.
Peace,
#tutulady
#forwardisapace

Dreams

Kristine Binder

When I was little, I didn’t dream about a wedding. I didn’t plan out my future husband’s name or picture a white dress. While other girls were playing “bride,” I was cradling my dolls, changing their tiny outfits, and rocking them to sleep. I wasn’t playing house—I was playing mom.
Motherhood was always the dream.
As I got older, that didn’t change. I loved babies, and I mothered any child I could. My nephews and niece? I doted on them, cared for them, and soaked up every moment. Holding them, feeding them, soothing them—it felt natural. Right. Like I had stepped into a role that had always been meant for me.
Marriage, on the other hand? That was never part of the picture. It wasn’t that I was against it, but it simply wasn’t what I longed for. Some people dream of love stories, wedding bells, and the perfect partner. I dreamed of cradling a baby in my arms, of hearing the word “Mom” spoken with love and trust.
But life has a way of surprising us.
I did get married. I prayed for the white-picket-fence life—the partnership, the shared responsibilities, the happily ever after. But that’s not what I got. Instead, I got another child and most of the housework. I became a mother in every sense of the word, to my children and, in many ways, to my husband too. The marriage I envisioned—the one filled with teamwork and equal weight—never quite materialized.
And maybe that’s because I was never meant to be a wife.
But even as a mother—the one role I always knew I was meant for—I haven’t been perfect. I haven’t always been the mom I imagined myself being. I have made mistakes, ones that weigh heavy on my heart. There are moments I wish I could go back and change, things I would have done differently if I had known then what I know now.
Hindsight is always 20/20.
I know mistakes were made, but I’ve also learned from them. Instead of letting them define me, I’ve chosen to forgive myself and do better. To be better. Motherhood isn’t about perfection—it’s about growth, love, and showing up, even when you don’t get it right.
Is there psychology behind all of this? Maybe. Maybe it was the desire to love and be loved unconditionally. Maybe it was the innate pull to nurture, to protect, to guide. Or maybe—just maybe—I was simply born to be a mom.
And I truly believe that’s enough.
Some people are meant to be partners first. Others are meant to chase careers, passions, or adventures. Me? I was meant to be a mom. That was always my purpose, my calling, my heart’s greatest wish.
Peace,
#tutulady
#forwardisapace

SUN day

Kristine Binder

His jacket caught my eye first—Vietnam Veteran, embroidered across the back, the fabric worn but still holding its meaning.
“Thank you for your service,” I said as I passed him on the path.
“You’re welcome. What a cute dog…” he replied, his voice warm but quick to deflect my gratitude. He shifted the conversation almost immediately, turning his attention to Lucky, who, of course,  was delighted to be the center of it.
I slowed my pace and walked alongside him as he asked questions—How old is he? What kind of dog is he? Does he like walks? Simple questions, but I could tell they were more than small talk. This wasn’t just about my dog; this was about connection.
As we walked, he shared that getting out was hard for him these days. He was tired—tired of being inside but determined to take advantage of the spring sun while he could. I nodded, understanding in a way that had nothing to do with age or experience and everything to do with simply being human. Some days, moving forward is its own kind of victory.
After about a block, he slowed even more. “I need to sit,” he admitted.
“Do you need anything?” I asked.
He shook his head. “Nope, just need to catch my breath.”
So, Lucky and I continued on, leaving him there on walker seat, bathed in sunlight, watching the world go by.
I glanced back and snapped a quick photo—not of him directly, but of the moment. A man, resting in the sun, taking in the small joys of the day. And I wondered—how many people passed him without a word? How many were annoyed that he walked too slowly, or that he took up space in the middle of the sidewalk?
How many veterans go unnoticed and unappreciated every single day?
I don’t have the answer. But what I do know is that acknowledging someone—truly seeing them—costs nothing. And sometimes, even a few shared steps on a walk can be a reminder that we all need a little kindness, a little connection, and, every now and then, just a moment in the sun.
Because people matter. Moments matter. Taking a second to see someone, to hear them, to remind them that they are not invisible—it all matters. We never know what a simple smile, a kind word, or a small thank you might mean to someone else.
The world is busy, and life moves fast, but in the end, the smallest moments of connection might just be the most important ones.
Peace,
#tutulady
#forwardisapace