Author: Kristine Binder

Lost

Kristine Binder

There are days when I focus on what I lost and days when I focus on all I gained. The good usually outweighs the bad, but some days I still wonder…
As a parent, I often found myself lost in the divorce process without any clear direction of my own. This lack of direction led me to miss out on precious opportunities and strained the relationships I had with my children. The old adage, “if you can see it, you can be it,” didn’t seem to apply to me. All I could see were my own flaws, inadequacies, and unresolved traumas. I had no one to turn to, no role model to guide me on how to be a better parent or even how to just be. In this process, I feel I failed my children and lost a part of them.
Watching my kids grow up and become independent has been both a source of immense pride and a bittersweet reminder of the time and connection I feel I lost. Our job as parents is to create independent adults who can navigate the world on their own, and in this, I believe I succeeded. I am incredibly proud of each of my children. They have grown into wonderfully productive and amazing adults. However, I often wish their growth had happened in a more nurturing and supportive environment rather than under the pressures and challenges we faced.
I can’t help but wonder how different things might have been. Would our relationships be stronger if circumstances had been different? Perhaps. But perhaps something else would have strained our bonds. It’s impossible to know for sure. What I do know is that once I was able to ‘just be their mom,’ I did my best with the tools and knowledge I had.
Parenting is a journey without a definitive guidebook. Each of us stumbles through it even in the best of circumstances, learning as we go, often making mistakes along the way. I have made many, and for those, I will continue to apologize. My hope is that someday, my children will offer me grace and forgiveness. In the meantime, I hold onto the moments of connection and the pride I feel for the incredible individuals they are and have become.
I realize that every parent faces their own struggles and triumphs. It’s easy to focus on the losses and the “what ifs”, but it’s equally important to acknowledge the gains and the growth. My children’s resilience and success are testaments to their strength and the unwavering love that I have always had, and always will have, for them. And for that, I am profoundly grateful.
Peace,
#tutulady
#forwardisapace

Peace

Kristine Binder

This morning, I woke up in my happy place. Yet, something felt different. As I sipped my coffee, gazing at the water and listening to the birds, it struck me: today is Independence Day, a day we celebrate freedom. But today, it wasn’t just about national freedom; it was about my personal freedom. For the first time in what feels like forever, I am at peace. For over half my life, I lived in fear, always bracing for the next shoe to drop, tirelessly trying to maintain peace around me. The anxiety of keeping everything and everyone in balance was a heavy burden. But now, that chapter is closed. The peace I feel now is so profound, so tangible, that it’s almost overwhelming. To anyone who has spent years wondering when the turmoil will end, take heart: it does end. There is peace after the storm. When you finally reach that moment when the world allows you to truly exhale for what feels like the first time in your adult life, it’s like a weight is lifted. The constant feeling of impending doom dissipates, and what remains is pure, unadulterated peace. Even though our country may feel scary and uncertain right now, peace is still possible. The hope for that peace is what drives us forward. Our nation’s current challenges can make it hard to believe in a peaceful future, but it’s crucial to hold onto that hope. It is hope that sustains us, fuels our resilience, and lights the way to a brighter, more peaceful tomorrow. I share my journey, the good, bad and inbetween to give others hope. Hope that things do get better. Hope that there is a way forward. Hope that a future filled with peace is possible. On this Independence Day, I celebrate not just the freedom of our nation, but the profound personal freedom that has finally brought me real peace. Peace is out there, waiting for you. Keep moving forward, and I promise that you will find it.

Peace, #tutulady #forwardisapace

Entitled

Kristine Binder

This morning, I went out for a run by myself. It was my own neighborhood, broad daylight, at 6am. As I waited to cross the street at a crosswalk, a car turned right in front of me. A man in a Honda SUV rolled down his passenger side window, looked at me, and said, “Can I ask you something?” I looked at him, confused, and said, “Excuse me?”
He asked again, “Can I ask you something?” I said nothing, and then he said, “Are you single? You’re hot!”
I glared at him with dagger eyes and said, “What the fuck is wrong with you?!” He smiled and sped off.
This is what women deal with on a daily basis in society: men thinking they can roll up on women and talk to them just because they’re men. I didn’t want to be bothered while I was on a run, but this man took it upon himself to not only interrupt me but to think that he was entitled to my attention.
This is misogyny. This is male entitlement.
This is the world women live in—one of constant fear of men who feel entitled. Misogyny isn’t just about overt hostility or discrimination; it’s about the pervasive, everyday encounters that remind women of their place in a male-centered society. It’s the entitlement that some men feel, believing they have the right to invade a woman’s personal space, disrupt her peace, and impose their desires on her. This toxic entitlement often extends beyond gender, affecting anyone who doesn’t fit into the narrow mold of hetero-normative, cisgender men, including those of different religions, LGBTQIA individuals, and anyone who looks different.
Running should be a simple, peaceful activity, but for women, it often comes with the added burden of dealing with unwanted attention and harassment. What should be a moment of personal freedom and health becomes overshadowed by the fear of what might happen next. This fear isn’t irrational; it’s rooted in countless experiences where a common activity turns unsafe.
This morning’s encounter is just one of countless instances where women are forced to confront the reality of misogyny and male entitlement head-on. It’s exhausting, infuriating, and, unfortunately, all too common.
All I wanted was to go for a run to release some stress and gain some sanity. What I got was another reminder that no place is completely safe for women, or anyone other than hetero-normative men.
Acknowledging these challenges is the first step toward change. By sharing our experiences and refusing to stay silent, we can push for a world where everyone can feel safe and respected, no matter where they are or what they’re doing.
Has something like this ever happened to you? What have you done? How have you handled it in the moment and the aftermath?
Peace
#tutulady
#forwardisapace

75

Kristine Binder

75
HARD?
Yeah, that’s just not my vibe. I mean, who’s got time to hit the gym twice a day? And don’t even get me started on chugging a gallon of water without access to a bathroom all day. It’s like setting yourself up for dehydration disaster.
Sure, I dig non-fiction reads, but my brain craves a good fiction fix too. Variety keeps it sharp, you know? And sticking to a diet with zero cheats? Nah, I’m all about balance. That kind of rigidity just breeds other unhealthy habits.
So, I decided to craft my own version of a 75-day challenge, something a bit more sassy and serene for the upcoming summer. Starting March 4th, ending May 18, a week before Memorial Day, I will be all about embracing a lifestyle that’s both fabulous, fit and chill.
The stuff on my list? Well, they’re things I aim to do every day anyway, but sometimes life gets in the way. So here is the Sassy and Serene list:
*Work out: 10,000 steps & 15 minutes of weights every day
*Diet: Prioritize protein and greens
*Read: Read a book before bed rather than scrolling
*Water: Drinking enough water so that “things” are clear-ish
*Breathing: 5 minutes of breath work each day
*Connection: Reaching out to a friend off socials once a week
*Alcohol: Beverage choice based on personal preference rather than societal influence.
*Rest: Prioritize rest and sleeping
*Self Talk: Talk to ourselves as we talk to a best friend – Supportive and Straightforward
*Progress: Feelings and Fit. How does the body feel and how do the clothes fit?
By putting it out there for everyone to see, I’m holding myself accountable. Plus, it’d be awesome if some of you joined in too!
Ready to strut into summer with a whole new level of sass and serenity? Count me in, and I hope you’re on board too! Let’s make this summer one to remember.
Peace.
#tutulady
#forwardisapace

58

Kristine Binder

As I embark on another journey around the sun this week, I find myself reflecting on the 58 years I’ve spent on this planet. Last year, I shared 57 lessons I had learned, and while those remain true, I want to add one more:

58. Embrace the journey. Every twist, turn, and detour has its purpose.

This past year, I’ve truly embraced the journey. I welcomed people into my life and into my home, I let some of those same people(and others) go, I encouraged my children to spread their wings despite my fears, I took advantage of opportunities that scared me for all sorts of reasons from anxiety to financial, I took charge of situations that, had I not ‘done the work’ I would never have been capable of handling, I broke and I healed (more than once),  set new boundaries, and discovered the joy of my own company.
Getting older isn’t easy—it comes with its challenges. Yet, it’s also liberating. I have learned so much about myself, my life and my past that as I move forward, I have made peace with it all. Every day I see people that are so afraid of the aging process from skin to trauma. They fight for relevance and importance. If I died today, I would be ok with it. I am at peace with where I am in life and who I am. I know that I have made a lasting impact on this world. I also know that life will go on once I am gone….and I am really ok with that fact. 
Being at peace requires inner work—acceptance, love, letting go of the past, and acknowledging accomplishments. Yes, I still grapple with struggles; I’m only human. Surrounding myself with empowering women and seeking therapy keeps me accountable, fostering continual growth.
The next year is a mystery, and I’ve started it by manifesting new and exciting things. With an open heart and mind, I eagerly anticipate the lessons this year will bring.  What lesson will I learn this year to add to the list…..who knows, but let’s get started! Here’s to the journey ahead!
Peace,
#tutulady
#forwardisapace